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Loading ...Quote #16587
“We’re trying to be the band leader not the band member”
– Mrs. Stickums
Joke #13296
Q: What does a chicken and a band have in common?
A: They both have drum sticks.
Joke #12153
You can always tell a crumby football team. The band members are in better shape than the players.
Joke #11345
David dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter says, “How did things go for you back on Earth?”
David says, “Not too bad. I left a wife, 3 kids, a pretty good bank balance, no mortgage, and my wife will get another 100,000 from the insurance.”
“Great,” says St Peter, “What was it you did while you were alive?”
“Oh, I was in Real estate.”
“Oh good, come on in” says the Saint.
Bruce follows David up to the pearly gates and gets the same sort of welcome and questions.
“Yes, well I left a wife and two kids, a little house in the suburbs, a few dollars in the bank, car’s paid for and they should be OK with things.”
“Oh good, come on in.”
Billy was next in line and gets the questions from the old guy.
“Yes, well I left my 4th wife, most of my gears in the Cash Converters, cars rooted, never did quite make it to where I really thought I should have been.”
“Oh well,” says St. Peter.
“And which band was it that you played with?”
Joke #11339
Q: What do you say when someone drops something at ska band practice?
A: Pick it up pick it up pick it up.
Joke #11245
Q: Why did the cannibal invite over a variety of musicians for lunch?
A: He wanted to cover the four major food groups.
Joke #11243
Q: Why did the cannibal start dining on heavy metal bands?
A: He needed more iron in his diet.
Joke #10734
Q: What makes music on your head?
A: A head band.
cyrano
cyrano – v. to ask someone wearing a t-shirt for a band if they like that band
leejalston
leejalston – n. a band that plays in a bathroom
eegi
eegi – n. a condom made by a rock band
Smrat anal sex
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Municipal Poopoo
Yes, Poopoo is my name…Municipal Poopoo. My mom abandoned me when I was just a turd. I never saw my dad, but I blame him for flushing me down the toilet.
I’m a detective. My house, my office, is a sespool. I get new cases everytime, y’see, when “they” flush them down, down into my office.
The bacteria in the sespool are my security system. When a bad turd comes around, they eat’m up right away.
But when there is a turd with a good case, I take it up personally. Like once when this old geezer came along and said, “Yo llevo un el gato en mi pantalones” I knew who he was. He was the old Spanish turd from a Spanish guy pooping on “their” toilet.
He said, “I need you to find out who pooped me out.” So, I helped the old 15 year-old geezer, by scraping the old poo-skin-layer off of him, he then tossed his cane and ran around the sespool, screaming, “I’m reborn!” …Then he broke in half and died. It was a grousome sight.
I wanted to know what happened to the old geezer, after, all I did have to scrape his hairy poo-skin off…
I went down to the bar, and asked around if anybody knew him. One guy did. It was the bartender. He said he’d talk, only if I got a pee from the Septic Tank, so I gave him 15 poo-coins and he gave me a jug of pee. It had a nice smell, and it had a layer of foam on it, a true sign it came straight from the septic tank.
“Well, you gonna tell me anything?” I said after a sip of pee. The bartender rolled around to me and said, “sure. the old geezer just drank some pee and said he was going to revitalize his body and take a poo-bath.” “hmm…” I thought to myself, “That old geezer should have lived another 5 years…”
It was then, I remembered seeing a sparkle as the old geezar split in half. Then it came to me. He was assassinated! I recognized the sparkle as a shiny tooth. The assassin must have been cleaning it for weeks!
I looked around, looking for any suspicious looking Poos around. That’s when I saw a guy with a tooth-machete. It glimmered in the light. Just as I made my move, he sliced another piece of poo while he was running away from me. Poor soul.
Once he got out of the bar, I shot him 5 times with my Poo-ray gun. Then he was eaten by the bacteria.
Well, that was the best adventure I ever had. All in a days work, of course.
Bye
solomon
solomon – n. a man from Jamaica who plays by himself in a band