Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6250: ooO MaDeLiNe Ooo -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

ooO MaDeLiNe Ooo: Hey there big boy! I’ve got a dirty little secret… Click here. Cum and find out what it is.

davepoobond: how can i if i cant see anything

davepoobond: i’m blind

davepoobond: YOU FOOL

davepoobond: BLIND MEN CANT SEE PORNO

davepoobond: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

davepoobond: you’re a bastard, i hope you know that

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6248: OooO HaiIeY OooO -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

OooO HaiIeY OooO: Hey there sexy boy, I’m feeling a little naughty… and I got something to show you. Dont’ make me wait too long!!! Click here and cum see….

davepoobond: wwwwwwwwwwwoooooow

davepoobond: how in the hell could i make you wait

davepoobond: ewwwwww you have green skin

davepoobond: nasty

davepoobond: disgusting

davepoobond: you wacko

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6246: davepoobond -> elmoisfurry

Leave a comment

davepoobond: blah

elmoisfurry: die

davepoobond: is that an automatic response?

elmoisfurry: ………

elmoisfurry: yes

davepoobond: wow

davepoobond: super

davepoobond: extravagent

davepoobond: ravashing

elmoisfurry: die

davepoobond: bodacious

davepoobond: radical

elmoisfurry: >:o

elmoisfurry: die

elmoisfurry: BRO BRO BRO BROBRO

davepoobond: what

elmoisfurry: nufum beach

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6244: davepoobond -> elmoisfurry

Leave a comment

Background: it was raining and there was lightning and thunder outside

——————-

davepoobond: aghhhhh! lightning

elmoisfurry: i was sleeping

elmoisfurry: i just got up

elmoisfurry: gotta reboot comp

elmoisfurry: brb

elmoisfurry: dude this is awesome

davepoobond: what is

elmoisfurry: tha rain

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: if it rains tomorrow, i dont have to swim.

davepoobond: yay

elmoisfurry: haha

elmoisfurry: u have ta start swimming already

elmoisfurry: dude its like winter

elmoisfurry: hahahahaha

davepoobond: so

elmoisfurry: wuts tha point of swimmin in tha winter

davepoobond: wuts tha point of playing any other sport in the winter

davepoobond: it just happened to be that our pe class has to swim in the winter

elmoisfurry: indoor ones fugga

davepoobond: i dont give a crap! i didnt choose to swim in the winter ass

elmoisfurry: i know

elmoisfurry: that just makes it funnier

davepoobond: heh…….the winter ass

elmoisfurry: heh…………die!

davepoobond: k

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: ha, madja think i was

elmoisfurry: k

elmoisfurry: ja

davepoobond: but i’m not.

elmoisfurry: but u will be

davepoobond: alive

davepoobond: for the rest of my life

davepoobond: i will be alive for the rest of my life

davepoobond: hahahah!

elmoisfurry: which is over now

davepoobond: oops

davepoobond: Whitney Houston was beat by her drug dealer

davepoobond: i saw it in the national enquirer!

davepoobond: brb

davepoobond: gotta crap

elmoisfurry: die im tryin ta watch futurama

elmoisfurry: so im not readin wut ur sayin

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: u die

elmoisfurry: k

elmoisfurry: no

davepoobond: k yes

elmoisfurry: yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaa

elmoisfurry: so wutcha doin

davepoobond: nnuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh

davepoobond: listening to my mom gripe

davepoobond: its silly

elmoisfurry: lol gripe

elmoisfurry: dave and his words]

elmoisfurry: hey how much of tha essay d’ja do

davepoobond: i have 1 paragraph left to write, a conclusion, and a conclusion sentence for my 2nd paragraph

davepoobond: i might do some today

elmoisfurry: i havent done any

davepoobond: wtf lol

elmoisfurry: cause i wus on a scout trip

davepoobond: my sister went to an award ceremony for being a “cheerleader” for the stupid 7th and 8th grade midgets or whatever

elmoisfurry: lol

davepoobond: and my mom said they took 10 minutes for each person, saying how well they volunteered

elmoisfurry: an award for that shit

davepoobond: and what they did

elmoisfurry: lol

davepoobond: and they were all “ooh, this person brought snacks every single day”

davepoobond: blah blah blah

davepoobond: and one of my sisters friend’s mom “abandoned” her daughter there, because she didnt think it was going to take that long, and she called her daughter selfish for thinking that she would stay that long

elmoisfurry: lllloooooooolllllllllllllllll

davepoobond: and her friend asked my sister if she could get a ride home, and my sister said “i dont know maybe” and then her friend’s mom just left

davepoobond: and my mom is griping about this lady

davepoobond: saying “this is a woman that doesnt work, gets manicures, gets peticures, goes shopping”

davepoobond: and all this other crap, and making hand motions

elmoisfurry: lol

davepoobond: and i think my mom has declared war on her, because this is the 3rd time she pissed my mom off

davepoobond: so, my mom had to drive her friend to her house, which is 10 minutes away

davepoobond: out of the way

davepoobond: and my mom said the cheerleaders had to stay to get their trophies

davepoobond: so, it was kinda like the Oscars

davepoobond: and they called their name one by one

elmoisfurry: yea

elmoisfurry: gay

davepoobond: and they were in their seats

davepoobond: and as soon as they called my sister, they just had everyone go up there

elmoisfurry: lol

davepoobond: its hilarious dude

davepoobond: and my sister just said “she didnt get any of the free food outside”

davepoobond: lol

elmoisfurry: lol

davepoobond: my mom said that lady basically deserted her daughter

davepoobond: and she didnt even tell her daugther that she’d leave

davepoobond: what a bitch dude, lol

elmoisfurry: lol

elmoisfurry: brb

davepoobond: i started laughing at my sister and my mom was in the kitchen, and she said “tell david to be quiet” and she’s like 10 feet away from me, and my sister is in the middle of us and she says “shut up”

elmoisfurry: hungy

davepoobond: gawd gtg wash the dishes

elmoisfurry: lllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooolllllllllll

elmoisfurry: brb

davepoobond: bak

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6243: elmoisfurry -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

elmoisfurry wants to directly connect.

elmoisfurry is now directly connected.

davepoobond: whaaaaaaaaaa

davepoobond: hook me up foo

elmoisfurry: (sends a buncha pictures)

elmoisfurry: lol

elmoisfurry: gotz em all

davepoobond: yeh

elmoisfurry: k

elmoisfurry: heh

elmoisfurry: ok

elmoisfurry: yea

davepoobond: yeah

elmoisfurry: (gives an image)

davepoobond: (gives an image)

davepoobond: wheeeeeeeee

elmoisfurry: nah man

elmoisfurry: que?

davepoobond: (gives an image)

elmoisfurry: ok i already saw that gay ass-shit

elmoisfurry: haha get it

elmoisfurry: ass-shit

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: (gives an image)

davepoobond: (gives an image)

elmoisfurry direct connection is closed.

davepoobond: LOL

elmoisfurry: bitch fuga

elmoisfurry: thats not funny goddamit!!!!!!!!!1

davepoobond: that u closed the connection

davepoobond: is

elmoisfurry: how in tha hell is a car a house and some money funny

elmoisfurry: no i didnt

davepoobond: money funny

elmoisfurry: u did

davepoobond: you did

elmoisfurry: i didnt touvh it

davepoobond: i didnt either

elmoisfurry: touch

elmoisfurry: yea u did

elmoisfurry: admit it

elmoisfurry: beotch

davepoobond: bitch, you did

davepoobond: i didnt touch anything either

elmoisfurry: u know u did

elmoisfurry: just stop lyin

davepoobond: fine then

davepoobond wants to directly connect.

elmoisfurry is now directly connected.

davepoobond: yay

elmoisfurry: goddamit

elmoisfurry: more shitty crap from mr dave fuckhead

elmoisfurry: u read me beaaaaaaaaaaaatch!!!!!!!!!!1

elmoisfurry: toodle doodle u to

elmoisfurry: hoooooooooooooo

elmoisfurry: hohoho

elmoisfurry: google face

elmoisfurry: so long for sumthin so stupid

davepoobond: (gives a really big image)

elmoisfurry: how wus that worth it

davepoobond: …..

davepoobond: every bit of it was worth it

elmoisfurry: no

elmoisfurry: die

elmoisfurry: now

elmoisfurry: quickly

elmoisfurry: before roseanne is on

davepoobond: roseanne is still on?

elmoisfurry: dont test me boay

davepoobond: i’m not a buoy. i dont float around in swimming pools, or prevent boats from getting scratched on the dock. what do you think i am? I dont float.

elmoisfurry: ur stupid

elmoisfurry: i said boy just with a slight twist in it

davepoobond: (gives an image)

elmoisfurry: asssssssssss

elmoisfurry: no

davepoobond: how DARE you.

elmoisfurry: well

elmoisfurry: u see

elmoisfurry: first i say

elmoisfurry: i dare you to….

elmoisfurry: and then it just builds from there

elmoisfurry: but thats not the point

davepoobond: yes it is

davepoobond: its the main point

elmoisfurry: i WILL eat u alive if u dont die

davepoobond: hmm….be eaten alive or die on will….

davepoobond: i think i’ll chance with being eaten

elmoisfurry: die

elmoisfurry: fugga

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: eaten

elmoisfurry: khfdkghykjjggjkjg

davepoobond: (gives an image)

davepoobond: she lives by the ocean

elmoisfurry: do u want me to kill u

elmoisfurry: cause the way ur going i think u do

davepoobond: (gives an image)

davepoobond: MAYBE!

davepoobond: AHAHAHAHAHAHA

elmoisfurry: ok goddam u

davepoobond: (gives an image)

davepoobond: (gives an image)

davepoobond: (gives an image)

elmoisfurry: ::shakes head, sighing, wanting to discover a way to stab dave through his computer::

davepoobond: ::turns off the monitor so he cant::

davepoobond: haaaaa

elmoisfurry: that wont help u any

davepoobond: (gives an image)

elmoisfurry: muah

elmoisfurry: haha

elmoisfurry: ha

davepoobond:

elmoisfurry direct connection is closed.

davepoobond: wat

davepoobond: you closed it you ass

elmoisfurry: i will kill u

elmoisfurry: WILL

elmoisfurry: not might

elmoisfurry: W

elmoisfurry: I

elmoisfurry: L

elmoisfurry: L

elmoisfurry: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

davepoobond: neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

elmoisfurry: NO

elmoisfurry: see

elmoisfurry: u obviously didnt read wut i said

elmoisfurry: cause i said WILL

davepoobond: ………………………but no

davepoobond: you see, i said

davepoobond: neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

elmoisfurry: fuk off

davepoobond: no, YOU fuk off

elmoisfurry signed off at 5:10:14 PM.

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#6242: JonBoy -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

JonBoy: hey

davepoobond: hi

JonBoy: u f or m

davepoobond: m

JonBoy: bye now

davepoobond: bye yesterday

davepoobond: did i mention i am bootylicious?

JonBoy: your a faget

JonBoy: bye now

davepoobond: bye tomorrow

davepoobond: did i mention i streaked 15 times in one day

JonBoy: bye

davepoobond: hi

–

He warns me to 3%.

I warn him to 20%.

–

davepoobond: oops i’m sorry

davepoobond: you warned me so i warned you

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6241: allieM -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

allieM: hi

davepoobond: hi

allieM: asl

davepoobond: i’m 16/m/ca

allieM: sweet

davepoobond: what part of ca u live in

allieM: l.a

davepoobond: i’m around LA too

davepoobond: u got a pic

allieM: nope you?

davepoobond: nah

allieM: k

davepoobond: do you live in LA or around LA

allieM: LA

allieM: do u have a third titty

davepoobond: lol no

allieM: okay

davepoobond: i have 56

allieM: good

allieM: o gross

davepoobond: they’re in a line down my stomach

davepoobond: and even go down my leg

allieM: ohh nasty

davepoobond: its kinda nasty, cuz they’re not actually full grown, but they have like a sack kinda thing to each one

allieM: nasty who would date someone who had that

davepoobond: most of the boy cheerleaders

davepoobond: and color guard

allieM: omg r u gay

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: they WOULD, but i never did.

allieM: then y did u say that most of the boy cheerleaders and color guard would dat u

davepoobond: they WOULD

allieM: ur gross

davepoobond: unlike most women and men, i can have 56-somes

allieM: ur joking u dont have 56 right

davepoobond: i dont know…..maybe you’ll have to come over and see for yourself

allieM: no

davepoobond: lol, i’m just joking

allieM: im not a prev

davepoobond: joking about you coming over

allieM: but do u have um

davepoobond: my mom, the lady with no nipples wouldnt appreciate that

allieM: what

davepoobond: my dad has 3 penises

allieM: ?

allieM: w/e ur such a liar

davepoobond: and my brother, has no head.

allieM: god ur stupid

davepoobond: he’s just shoulders

davepoobond: and my sister, she takes after mom

davepoobond: but has no eyes

davepoobond: my aunt wasn’t born with 15 chromosomes

allieM: god shut up

allieM: u suck at lieing

davepoobond: and i impregnated myself

davepoobond: i have 45 babies in my womb

allieM: god ur gross

davepoobond: i had to buy an extension at Pic-N-Save

davepoobond: so now i have 15 stomachs to carry all my children

allieM: shut up perv

allieM: ur a prev

davepoobond: no i’m not.

davepoobond: its human nature.

davepoobond: hybrid human nature, but still human nature

allieM: bull shit

davepoobond: i’m like a spider.

davepoobond: i give birth then i die

allieM: ur a liar

davepoobond: but i’m not a spider

davepoobond: so i dont die

davepoobond: did i tell you about my uncle that is actually a pool of piss?

davepoobond: dont ask me how it came to be

davepoobond: ok, fine go ahead

davepoobond: ask me

allieM: no

davepoobond: allieM:

davepoobond: oops

davepoobond: teehee

davepoobond: ask me, go ahead.

allieM: yes, what is it? (this was dave saying it)

davepoobond: well, then, that’s a very good question.

davepoobond: my dad, stood on top of the ceiling

davepoobond: and since he has 4 penises, he pisses a lot

davepoobond: so the pee was so heavy it fell through the roof

davepoobond: and that’s how my dad gave birth to my uncle

davepoobond: the end

allieM: ur discusting

davepoobond: do you like harry potter?

allieM: no

davepoobond: he’s my son-in-law’s brother-in-law’s aunt’s uncle’s son’s nephew’s husband’s son

allieM: ya w/e

davepoobond: w/e?

davepoobond: whats that

allieM: ur so sick and ur such a liar

davepoobond: did i mention i have a lot of butt hair?

allieM: i dont kare

davepoobond: yes you do

allieM: no i dont

davepoobond: yes you do

allieM: i would like to speak to ur mother

davepoobond: okay.

davepoobond: but she’ll get mighty mad

davepoobond: i’ll change the font so that you know its her

allieM: o well

allieM: k

davepoobond: Nippless Susan here. whaddya want, i’m watching Judge Judy.

allieM: ya ur such a liat

allieM: god ur gay

davepoobond: ok, that’s it, i dont have to take this from you. I’m watching Judge Judy

davepoobond: good bye.

davepoobond: well, that was my mom

allieM: ya w/e

davepoobond: w/e?

davepoobond: WHAT IS W/E

allieM: whatever

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: bold

davepoobond: unbold

davepoobond: italic

davepoobond: unitalic

davepoobond: underline

davepoobond: ununderline

allieM: SHUT UP

davepoobond: hi

allieM: what do u want fag boy

davepoobond: my biggest breast is 3AAA

davepoobond: and i can braid my butt hair

allieM: omg shoove it in ur butt hair

davepoobond: shoove?

allieM: ya

davepoobond: rrrrrriiiiiiightttt

davepoobond: i thought shoove was when a human mates with an elephant

allieM: shut up fagdet

davepoobond: i dont see how i can do that with my butt hair

davepoobond: fagdet?

davepoobond: gadget?

davepoobond: pfft

davepoobond: hahaha

allieM: i really think ur gat

davepoobond: i’m not a goat

allieM: ya you are

davepoobond: do you think that’s funny

davepoobond: i’m not a goat. i dont eat tin cans.

davepoobond: i do give milk though, like a goat

allieM: i mean it

allieM: ill call the cops

davepoobond: instead of a penis, i have an udder

davepoobond: whoa.

davepoobond: why would you do that

allieM: cuz ur being a ass

davepoobond: you cant call the cops for someone being an ass..

davepoobond: and you dont even know where i live

allieM: ya i do

davepoobond: i actually live in Michigan – the home of the person with 56 titties

davepoobond: so ha

allieM: i actually live in wisconsin

davepoobond: no wa

davepoobond: y

davepoobond: the cheese state?

allieM: ya way

allieM: ya ‘

davepoobond: but then california has better cheese than wisconscin nowadays

davepoobond: since wisconscinscccijalfj is so cold

allieM: its not cold

davepoobond: yes it is

allieM: we have no sno

allieM: w

davepoobond: yes you do, i can see it from here

allieM: w/e

davepoobond: you live in the rocky mountains

allieM: no

davepoobond: wisconscianslkjfds is nothing but mountains

allieM: not really

davepoobond: yes really

allieM: trust me id no ive lived here my whole life

davepoobond: mmhmm

davepoobond: well, i think you’ve been living on the planet BLAH

davepoobond: because you cant see snow falling down in front of you

allieM: w/e

allieM: i hate u

davepoobond: i love you

davepoobond: lets get married

allieM: thanks

allieM: k good idea

allieM: were shall we meet

davepoobond: corner of main and 2nd

davepoobond: where a baithing suit

allieM: k what state

allieM: ok i will

davepoobond: is hanging

allieM: what state

davepoobond: no, where a baithing suit is hanging

davepoobond: not wear a baithing suit

davepoobond: ok, go ahead and wear one

davepoobond: lets meet in Nevada

allieM: okay

davepoobond: they’ve got lots of casinos there we can get married at

allieM: ill wear a bathins suit

davepoobond: bathins

allieM: ya

davepoobond: ok thats great.

davepoobond: on your mark, get set, go

allieM: k

allieM: ru there yet

davepoobond: yes, i am. i’m waiting for you

allieM: im there stupid

davepoobond: wat

davepoobond: i dont see you

davepoobond: i’m talking on my cell phone now

allieM: im right behind u

davepoobond: dont you see me

davepoobond: ah there you are

allieM: ya

davepoobond: yep

davepoobond: lets get married

allieM: do u like my bathing suit

davepoobond: yes. have you thought of breast implants?

davepoobond: i have.

davepoobond: i have 56

allieM: mine r bigger than all urs put together

davepoobond: waaaaa

davepoobond: oh well

davepoobond: wanna go back to my room

allieM: ya lets go

davepoobond: okay

allieM: i gtg

allieM: my mama is calling me home

davepoobond: ok bye

allieM: bye

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6240: katie 889911 -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

katie 889911: Click HERE NOW to See the NUMBER ONE MOST REQUESTED LESBIAN ADULT XXX SITE ON THE WEB! Live Girls On WEBCAM 24/7! Thousands of VIDEOS! Over 150,000 HOT HARDCORE XXX Pics! Give In to Temptation! Click HERE to see LESBIAN SEX! 🙂

davepoobond: HOLY MERICIFUL GOD!

davepoobond: YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS

davepoobond: its a bit much, dont u think?

davepoobond: 150,000

davepoobond: wooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeee

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6239: elmoisfurry -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

elmoisfurry: bitch

elmoisfurry: gerroff line

davepoobond: yyyyy

elmoisfurry: cause

elmoisfurry: hohoho

elmoisfurry: uuu

davepoobond: ii?

elmoisfurry: nien fuka

elmoisfurry: nein!

elmoisfurry: whoops spelled wronga

davepoobond: hah

elmoisfurry: hah……fuk u fukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

davepoobond: and you call yourself a german

elmoisfurry: fakin faka

elmoisfurry: sdilft

elmoisfurry: ear;t

elmoisfurry: skde

elmoisfurry: j;osg

elmoisfurry: l;jatj

elmoisfurry: l;awrejoJOPWEROPUJWER

elmoisfurry: OJWRE

elmoisfurry: OJOJ

elmoisfurry: WEROJP

davepoobond: mine

davepoobond: hahah. werojp is mine

elmoisfurry: OJQERJOJOPQWERJOPWEROPJWERJOPASEROO;KR;OKLWEROKO;KAWEO;R;Oqwe;olwkr;okao;srm;lkkawe;ork;rkpokero;kwpoopwekropkwe4opowerko;wqekrilwjrklwmlikjwlkrmwilfniowpemiojiowejiowjfp’ewjtrpokjrpouocotro[iva,otioaitopariopakvtoiopawvaikaoptkoavkoawkovkokokotkvWERJ;lkvahuyuaymvuayrawvy;awrayoaptpyvs;avdvfoyfdgatvdktv’avwea,oavf,vakyskvoeaoyi,aoiaoauyioasoiuh’ouihivahrivahia,riewhariohoihaoh,ou,hwvworhvrvaorvoiwrhiewoahve

elmoisfurry: take that

elmoisfurry: fuk u

davepoobond: ok

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6237: yoyo -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

yoyo: hola I am Mexican, I come to california where I get job?

davepoobond: back in mexico

yoyo: pablo likes california

yoyo: people no eat people

davepoobond: but people kill people when they get pissed off

yoyo: kill? bad? si or no?

davepoobond: si

davepoobond: puto

davepoobond: vives en un fregadero, no?

yoyo: no tengo fregadero

davepoobond: tu tienes una lampara, razon?

yoyo: si

davepoobond: ah, si. porque?

davepoobond: tu tienes una lampara, pero no tienes un fregedero! porque?

yoyo: no se, por favor, yo tengo trabajo

davepoobond: tu tienes no trabajo! tu eres preguntar mi para adonde trabajar!

yoyo: si, yo necesito trabajo

davepoobond: no, no necesitas trabajo. puedes vivir en un basuero

yoyo: en el basuro? que?

davepoobond: basueros son muy agradable. yo soy en un basuero

yoyo: tu es uno basuero? como es?

davepoobond: no, no soy un basuero, tonto persona.

davepoobond: yo VIVO en un basuero

yoyo: oh, si si, es muy bien?

davepoobond: si, es beunisimo

yoyo: yo necesito trabajo

davepoobond: TU NO NECISITO TRABAJO, TU NECISITO UN VETERINARIO

yoyo: veterinario? para?????

davepoobond: PARA REPASO!

yoyo: que?

davepoobond: tu oiyes mi

yoyo: tu es muy stupido

davepoobond: no, TU es muy stupido, stupido persona

–

It ended up just being Holmes.