davepoobond: i ate 2 footlongs from subway today
manceman: shit man’
davepoobond: 😉
manceman: haha
davepoobond: i really did though
davepoobond: i was really hungry
manceman: haha
manceman: i guessed
davepoobond: i dont usually eat 2 footlongs
davepoobond: only thing i had today was pop tarts and 2 footies
manceman: haha
manceman: nice
davepoobond: i ate 2 footlong sandwiches from subway
davepoobond: today
davepoobond: isn’t that funny
Automatic Man: wow
Automatic Man: so thats y u were going there
davepoobond: when did you see me
Automatic Man: after school
Automatic Man: a little after
davepoobond: were you at the intersection
Automatic Man: ya
davepoobond: there was a coupon that i could get 3 footlongs for 10.99
Automatic Man: shit
davepoobond: so i thought what the hell, i’ll use it. i’m hungry anyway
Automatic Man: i had a footlong sub today
davepoobond: i have a bunch of coupons
davepoobond: for subway
davepoobond: i’ll give you some
Automatic Man: cool
davepoobond: they expire the 16th
Automatic Man: it was soo good, but it costeded me 9 dollars
davepoobond: 3 footlongs at reg. price is 12.99 or whatever
davepoobond: it was like 11 after
davepoobond: so i only saved a buck
davepoobond: which is kind of a rip off for a coupon
Automatic Man: but that buck will get you 100/164ths of a gallon of gas
davepoobond: i guess
davepoobond: well
davepoobond: diesel costs 1.89
davepoobond: right now
Automatic Man: o it went up
davepoobond: no, it never changed
davepoobond: it was like that for the past few months
Automatic Man: theres a cheap gas station in pas that has diesel for like 165
davepoobond: you can get it for less in cheaper areas
davepoobond: yeah, its just price gouging
Automatic Man: yep
davepoobond: its a more affluent area, so people will pay more
Automatic Man: you dont get gas at the crest, do you?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: no diesel there
Automatic Man: hey dave, dont tread on me
davepoobond: i get it at chevron
Automatic Man: o
davepoobond: its either that, or at the union at alta canyada
davepoobond: and its the same damn price
davepoobond: i like chevron better anyway
Automatic Man: o
Automatic Man: its all about the union
davepoobond: it has techron
davepoobond: which keeps the motor clean
davepoobond: er
Automatic Man: oh dave, thats a bunch of shit
Automatic Man: they do that to attract people who dont know shit about cars (like yourself)
davepoobond: what the hell does it do then
Automatic Man: techron?
davepoobond: yeah
Automatic Man: well first, you gotta really prove that they add sumthin else to the GAS
Automatic Man: im not sure if the gas even has it, let alone the diesel
Automatic Man: but it might
Automatic Man: i dunno
davepoobond: if it didn’t have it they wouldn’t advertise it
davepoobond: its false advertising and that’s illegal
davepoobond: so they add something
Automatic Man: but can YOU prove that it really cleans out carbon deposits in the engine?
davepoobond: probably not, but nor do i care that much, because i’m still gonna go to chevron which might have something or might not instead of going somewhere that doesn’t have anything advertised as being added into it
davepoobond: namely union
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This week we become overly insensitive assholes (moreso than usual? Or maybe not at all!) and lambast a girl over the 70+ e-mails that she has sent out in the past 6 months regarding shift covers. It is truly an art form in itself when you have TO GUILT TRIP YOUR WHOLE DEPARTMENT INTO COVERING SHIFTS FOR YOU. Not to mention it is your “second” job which only gives you at most 4 to 8 hours a week!
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This is the real cancer we were talking about, obviously:
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Summer movies are in full swing, and this time we take a look at Prometheus as well as the upcoming summer schedule of movies. Its a big year for super heroes but not much else to get excited about.
WARNING: THERE ARE SOME PROMETHEUS SPOILERS! You can skip to about a third of the way through and skip all the Prometheus stuff if you care.
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Prometheus is a film that raises more questions than answers, like:Â “Why would you kill Charlize Theron?” and “Why didn’t we see that scene with Charlize getting it up the butt from the big black dude?”
And there’s also all that hullabaloo about the origins of man and the beginnings of the Xenomorphs, but that’s all secondary.
Inception noise? Meet your match: PROMETHEUS NOISE!
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Adam Sandler is intentionally making shitty movies. Its the only explanation. He just needs to stick with family comedies and dramatic movies, apparently.
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This summer has a list of movies it wants to murder, and its gotten a few of them already:
Battleship: Sunk
The Dictator: Assassinated
Dark Shadows: Black Eye
Chernobyl Diaries: Nuked
Prometheus: Hospitalized (In the baby ward)
That’s My Boy: Murdered
Rock of Ages: Murdered
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: Pending Assassination
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Brave is another one of those Pixar movies that I’ll probably just hate. I hate more Pixar movies than I do like them, apparently.
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Owen Wilson:Â I don’t like his voice, and I don’t like his face.
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Finding Nemo had the worst characters of any Pixar movie ever.
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The Good Dinosaur is probably just The Good Shepherd but with real dinosaurs, not people you could call dinosaurs.
Its actually worse than that. It has Lil’ Wayne in it.
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Pixar has an impressively boring list of upcoming movies.
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Magic Mike has Channing Tatum in it. Like, OH EM GEE.
Directed by Steven Soderbergh, no less.
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How does Tyler Perry keep making movies? He’s like Adam Sandler but successful.
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Katy Perry: Part of Me: Pending Stage Collapse
Savages: Dead on Arrival
Step Up Revolution: Someone Will Step Down (In the government. Get it? Revolution? Government? Step Down?)
The Watch: Legally murdered. Maybe.
Total Recall: Unfortunate Death Due to Lack of References. Please resubmit an application.
Expendables 2: Expendable (get it?)
ParaNorman: Already Dead
Resident Evil: Retribution: Been Dead
Sean Bean: Died 20+ times. Save Sean Bean!
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That’s it for this week, folks. Hope you like our rudimentary coverage of what’s to come for this summer in the movies.
If you want to be on the Squacklecast, let us know! We can schedule you for an interview and you can hang out with us for an hour.