pustimo – v. to sing Justin Timberlake songs while caressing your asshole
saqueun
saqueun – v. to jerk it to Miley Cyrus while in the bathroom after a shower, while you’re still wet but the water isn’t on anymore
conqui
conqui – v. to jack off to Britney Spears
sotelo
sotelo – v. to film yourself fucking a moose
#23110: condemnedgirly705 -> davepoobond
condemnedgirly705: Was up there…
davepoobond: oh hai how r u
condemnedgirly705: Hey 🙂 do we know each other?
davepoobond: idk do we????
condemnedgirly705: lol its ok I was just looking for someone to chat with and it said you were online, I hope you don’t mind chatting with a bored single 23/f ? 🙂
davepoobond: oh really??????
condemnedgirly705: mmmhmmm <3
davepoobond: do you like to go to the park???
condemnedgirly705: yea and i’ll do whatever you want me to do…
davepoobond: like what???
condemnedgirly705: so..What kinda girls you in to? Are you in to BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY? ;)~
davepoobond: what is that???
condemnedgirly705: lol.. I have a lot of both!! 😉 I have some free time now my roommate went out…I guess I love to tease 😉 Wanna see? its up to u…im in the mood lol
davepoobond: you are making no sense?!??!?!
condemnedgirly705: Ok… let me set my cam up and I’ll show u my booty shaking skillz ..tell me if u like it ok ? LOL.. brb
davepoobond: u r crzy
condemnedgirly705: Ok, click here and it will bring u to my private 1on1 chat..There’s a few pix of me in there, click the “Accept Invite” to the left, then register and it’ll take you straight to my webcam, I’m there now.. 😉
WoW Chat #23109
In World of Warcraft, we are in a dungeon
–
Voltress: buffs
–
During the first fight, the mage stands in water that keeps hurting him.
–
Voltress: get out fo the water mage ffs
Tremr: sorry lol never done this one before
Voltress: well think about it
Voltress: you keep taking damage
Voltress: must be somthing
Dauer: lmao
Voltress: plus the words say wwater evil when you start the boss fight
Voltress: you know in teh message screen down there or across the screen if you have DBM
Cnredy: first time here?
Tremr: yeah
Voltress: dungeon jounral
Voltress: read the boss fights thats the point of it
Voltress: DBM
Voltress: agro meters
Voltress: full expalintions of fights
Voltress: or even say hi i dotn know this fight
Voltress: basics people basics
davepoobond: you kingslayers always ruin raiding
Voltress: y
Voltress: casue we do a little reading
Voltress: and sepak up
Voltress: if we dont know somthing
Dauer: ^^
Voltress: switch DK FFS
Voltress: 7 stack swtich
Voltress: fuck me dead
Voltress: people
Voltress: once again it says hey dont hit it
Voltress: and it get smalle
Voltress: do you people read grrr
Dauer: i switch at 8
Dauer: look up
Cnredy: focus on ur healing
Voltress: my healing is fine
Voltress: no
Voltress: deaths lol
davepoobond: stop ruining raiding
Dauer: oops cant switch at 8 ZOMG
Voltress: this is not a raid
Voltress: in a riad i would have ripped you a shinter
Voltress: hehe
Voltress: green stuff bad on this boss
Dauer: i dont know what a shinter is but ok
Voltress: big waves are bad
Voltress: pull the lot tank
Voltress: might wanna move from teh middle to guys
Voltress: water please
Voltress: ty
Voltress: burn it down gogogo
Voltress: mage stack on me
Dauer: pet taunt ftw
Voltress: burn it down gogogo
Voltress: mage stack on me
Dauer: pet taunt ftw
Voltress: standin in shit again mage
Voltress: hehe
Voltress: all learning just need to learn fast
davepoobond: stop ruining raiding
Voltress: thsi is not a raid
Voltress: ????
Voltress: hwo can it be ruined
davepoobond: stop it
Voltress: ???
Voltress: standing in shit is basic game play for a year old
Voltress: asking if you dont knwo somthing is basics for a 3 years old
davepoobond: stop ruining raiding
Dauer: please stack up for this fight for spawns
Tremr: lol
Voltress: th sisi not a raid
davepoobond: you kingslayers always ruin raiding
Dauer: so can aoe and kill them quick
Voltress: r u a parret davepoobond
Cnredy: be nice volt you are annoying
Dauer: kingslayers dont ruin anything
Dauer: people need to l2 read
Voltress: its called situational awareness
Voltress: bah no mace
Dauer: figures wouldnt drop a weapon
Dauer: fml
Tremr: ty for group
Dauer: mage, i know its hard but please pay attention
Tremr: pleas elook up
davepoobond: you ruined raiding
Voltress: lol how do i ruenin raiding
Voltress: this is not a raid you fuck wit
Voltress: l2 play
davepoobond: you kingslayers always ruin raiding
–
He was wearing the Kingslayers title. He didn’t notice I was wearing it too — it was an inside joke in our guild and I never explained it to him.
WoW Chat #23108: davepoobond -> Amyrista
Amyrista is still trying to sell the recruit-a-friend mount in Trade Chat.
–
davepoobond: ill buy it
Amyrista: hi:)
davepoobond: hello
Amyrista: hello how are u 🙂
davepoobond: lol good u
Amyrista: hehe i am great too:D
Amyrista: so u want buy that mount right 🙂
davepoobond: do u have it now
Amyrista: yes dear 🙂 u can get it in 5 mins
davepoobond: ok cod it to me
Amyrista: but u know that is RAF mount:) so u will send an email and name to me and i can make it done for u in 5 mins 🙂
davepoobond: lol what is a that
Amyrista: RAF is recruit a friend mount dear 🙂
davepoobond: how does that work
Amyrista: oh just like i said dear :)i will send u an email and name that u can send invitation then i can make it for u ,it will be done in 5 mins 🙂
Amyrista: and u can get it in [battle.net] and it shows linked
Amyrista: u can claim it
Amyrista: and then u can get it in wow game mail box:)
davepoobond: i dont understand
Amyrista: it’s very easy dear
Amyrista: i will tell u how to do each steps 🙂
davepoobond: i dont have any stairs lol
Amyrista: hehe stairs?
davepoobond: yeah u said steps lol
Amyrista: ah haha sorry i mean i will tell u how to do it 🙂
davepoobond: do what
Amyrista: so u can understand that ^^
Amyrista: but i usually charge 5k first and after u got the mount pay me another 5k 🙂
Amyrista: i sell 10more nightwing each day 🙂 so dont worry
davepoobond: can i ask u a question
Amyrista: yes 🙂
davepoobond: r u married
Amyrista: nope .i am 24
Amyrista: havent married yet
davepoobond: y not?
Amyrista: yea,why?
davepoobond: y rnt u married?
Amyrista: why i need to married right now ?:P
Amyrista: hehe
Amyrista: i will but maybe 1-2 years later
davepoobond: dont u have a boyfriend
Amyrista: i have a bf 🙂 u have GF too right ?:)
davepoobond: no 🙁 i am lonely
davepoobond: what do u do with ur boyfriend
Amyrista: hehe if u buy a nightwing i will tell u
Amyrista: so u want the nightwing right 🙂
davepoobond: lol do u ride the nightwing with ur bf
Amyrista: hehe i can turn into a nightwing and riden by BF
Amyrista: hehe if u like to buy a nightwing and turn into it let me ride on ?:)
Amyrista: take me around
Amyrista: 😀
davepoobond: lol u turn into nightwing in real life??
Amyrista: lol i wish
davepoobond: +
Amyrista: if u really like to buy it or just like chatting with me ?
davepoobond: i just like chatting 🙁
davepoobond: u r nice
Amyrista: hehe but i need to do business it if dont want it i can’t chat with u anymore
davepoobond: so u r not nice?
With dry eyes
With dry eyes
I cries
I drink your tears
So that I may eat your fears
WoW Chat #23106: Wingqt -> Xingua
Wingqt: can i raid with you guys this week?
Xingua: no
Wingqt: damn sonnnn
Wingqt: no loveeee
Wingqt: put the app in and everything :((
Xingua: your app was lazy, your gear and experience arn’t great, and you’re only in the guild cuz a friend asked us to invite you
Xingua: we are a serious raiding guild
Wingqt: killing KJ pre patch isnt experience?
Wingqt: and my app was lazy?
Wingqt: what is this a job?
Xingua: you never even went back to look at it after posting
Xingua: and now you assume because you posted it, you automatically get to come?
Wingqt: Somewhat, yea.
Xingua: sorry, that’s not how this works
Wingqt: thats how it worked at level 70
Wingqt: before kingslayers
Wingqt: you app to a guild
Wingqt: show up before the raid
Wingqt: try your best
Wingqt: and prove yourself
Xingua: ask diesel if you need a better understanding of how we work
Wingqt: but i guess kingslayers like you ruined raiding
Wingqt: 🙁
Xingua: I’ve been raiding since BC
Xingua: and you’re begging me to carry you
Xingua: seriously, you’re going to talk shit?
Wingqt: how so
Wingqt: how am i begging to get carroed
Wingqt: carried
Wingqt: i do 40k + dps
Wingqt: but you wouldn’t know that
Wingqt: because you havent raided with me ONCE
Wingqt: Pve nerd.
WoW Chat #23105: davepoobond -> Woody
Woody is trying to sell a guild in trade chat.
–
davepoobond: how much is it
Woody: 50k
Woody: wanna buy it
davepoobond: trying to convince a friend
davepoobond: i don’t think he wants it even though he founded it
Woody: 50k and you have a level 25 guild all to your self
Woody: its worth it
Woody: whats your buddys name?
davepoobond: he’s raiding right now
Woody: do you wanna buy it?
davepoobond: nope
Woody: shit
Woody: I see what you did there ;D
davepoobond: you do?
davepoobond: what’d i do
Woody: woops wrong person but ill go 45k if you buiy it now’
davepoobond: how many tabs
Woody: 3
Woody: with active guild
davepoobond: hmmm
davepoobond: are there any girls in the guild
Woody: yeah 1
davepoobond: does she put out
Woody: 2
Woody: and put out>”
Woody: ?
davepoobond: what are their cup sizes
Woody: lol omg
Woody: want it or not
davepoobond: how many are going to stay after i buy the guild
Woody: everyone but 3
Woody: 2 forsure
Woody: my brothers
davepoobond: how many of the girls are in that 3
Woody: none lmao
davepoobond: what items are in the guild bank
Woody: herbs gems
Woody: glyphs
davepoobond: thats all?
Woody: mats
davepoobond: what kind of music do the girls like to listen to
Woody: dude lol
Woody: buying it or not
davepoobond: can i tell you a story
Woody: sure
davepoobond: i wasn’t a popular kid in school
davepoobond: i didn’t have a lot of friends
davepoobond: if someone asked to take advantage of me, by eating my french fries during lunch
davepoobond: i was happy because someone was paying attention to me
davepoobond: one day i got an email full of screen names with all of the girls in the school i went to
davepoobond: so i IMd each one of them, pretending to be some hot guy with bleached tips on his hair
davepoobond: and they actually wanted to talk to me for no other reason than my picture
Woody: is this true>
davepoobond: it is all true
davepoobond: what are your thoughts about my story
Woody: i feel bad
davepoobond: why do you feel bad
Woody: because if its true you didn’t deserve it
davepoobond: i deserve everything i get
Woody: are you buying the guild or what lol
davepoobond: i have never known the touch of a woman
WoW Chat #23103: davepoobond -> Amyrista
In Trade Chat, Amyrista was trying to sell a mount…
–
[2] [Amyrista]: WTS Obsidian nightwing 10k!
–
davepoobond: what does it look like
Amyrista: can’t u look at it on google? 😉
davepoobond: what does it look like
Amyrista: come to me u can see it
Amyrista: it just besides me
Amyrista: see it ?
davepoobond: i cant find u
Amyrista: the sw city
davepoobond: i like ur hair
Amyrista: hi
Amyrista: nice to meet u here
davepoobond: lol u r so nice
Amyrista: hehe thx dear
Amyrista: so do u like this mount and get one ?
davepoobond: lol how does it fly
Amyrista: yes it can fly!
Amyrista: u can carry friends too
Amyrista: u can turn in to it and carry friend 🙂
davepoobond: like u? u r my friend right
Amyrista: yes 😀 i would like that
davepoobond: r u a girl in real life
Amyrista: u can buy one and carry me hehe i’s like ride on your back
Amyrista: yes i am 24 years old girl
davepoobond: is ur hair pretty in real life too
Amyrista: hehe my hairl like this in real life
Amyrista: dear do u want get one nightwing ?
davepoobond: can i ask u a question
–
I get a whisper from Cytoplasm, randomly…
Cytoplasm: If you are hesitant about buying the mount, dont be : ).. I just bought one for my brother (Heisenberg) about an hour ago… Amyrista is awesome!
–
Amyrista: hehe see it is flying
Amyrista: yes
davepoobond: do u like me
–
I get another whisper from Cytoplasm…
Cytoplasm: 10k is an amazing deal for this mount. I love it!
–
Amyrista: um..i dont know u much but if i know u more i think u will be a good guy to talk with
davepoobond: what if i told u i am a boy that is a girl
Amyrista: u are a boy right
Amyrista: that’s nice ,coz i am a girl
davepoobond: i am a girl inside, on the outside i am a boy
davepoobond: can i ask u a question
Amyrista: hun …i wanna know if u like this mount and get it with 10k ? u can pay me 5k first and after u got it pay me another 5k
Amyrista: 🙂 ok
davepoobond: how big r ur boobs
davepoobond: i want to get some, but i dont know how big
davepoobond: do u know???
–
I get another whisper from Cytoplasm…
Cytoplasm: If you have the 10k to spare you should buy the nightwing mount. Its a good deal : )
davepoobond: who r u
–
Amyrista: not for sure ,not small lol
Amyrista: but let me ask u a question :0
Amyrista: do u want the nightwing
davepoobond: what is a that
Amyrista: just the mount u see~!
davepoobond: lol
Amyrista: black mount with wings
Amyrista: hehe so ?
Amyrista: so u like to get one
Amyrista: ?
davepoobond: what
Amyrista: if u want to buy a nightwing with 10k from me ?:D
davepoobond: do u have a boyfriend
davepoobond: ?
A Complimentary Poem
Your eyes are like the rolling winds
You sweep me off my feet
And throw me into the ocean
Where I drown in your loveliness
Until you kill me with your X-Ray Eyes…
Abrasive, disruptive employees…
Loading ...Bizarro Facebook #23097: Bitch Beach
In the below image, I am “David.”
The guy eventually apologized and deleted all of his posts, saying that he was drunk when he posted. But that isn’t funny.
Quote #23095
“Not a Barbie so don’t expect me to be perfect
I love to eat so I’m fat lmao
Just here to meet cool new ppl.
No pervs cus I ain’t givin no poosay u can skip my page negga”
– from a girl’s dating profile