alimony – n. the billing without the cooing
Joke #12729
There’s a horse out in Hollywood who has made 10 pictures. He’s not a star. He just does bit parts.
crick
crick – n. the noise a Japanese camera makes
Joke #12727
Q: What is a crick?
A: That’s the noise a Japanese camera makes.
Joke #12726
They just opened up a place for aged, broken down Volkswagens. It’s an Old Volks Home.
Joke #12725
Q: What did the robot say when he ran out of electricity?
A: “AC come, AC go.”
Joke #12724
My boss is so cheap, her purse has rusted shut.
Joke #12723
MR. DUNKLEY: “Why is this letter so damp?”
MRS. DUNKLEY: “Maybe there’s postage dew.”
Joke #12722
How about that Rock and Roll singer whose last record was a big flop? His manager says he’s suffering from a slipped disc.
Joke #12721
Then there was the teenaged son of a farmer who didn’t want to plant any more crops. He claimed it was too corny.
Joke #12720
I read in a newspaper about a kangaroo in the Bronx Zoo who has no pep. The vet diagnosed him as out of bounds.
Joke #12719
MAN: “Hey, you, kid! What are you doing in my tree?”
BOY: “Well your sign said to keep off the grass.”
Joke #12718
My boss has a heart of stone. He can trace his roots back to a petrified forest.
Joke #12717
REPORTER: “Do you pace up and down your office when you dictate?”
BOSS: “No, I can’t do that.”
REPORTER: “Oh, I see. Your secretary sits on your lap.”
Joke #12716
SECRETARY: “I don’t care much for a man’s company, unless he owns it.”