GOLFER: “Caddy, have you noticed any improvement since last month?”
CADDY: “You shined up your clubs, right?”
Joke #13095
How about the telephone operator who went to a football game and kept yelling at the players, “Hold the line, please! Hold the line, please!”
Joke #13094
The following was carved on the tombstone of a prize fighter: “He ended up the same way he fought — on his back.”
Joke #13093
Two horse players met one day. The first asked, “How did you do at the track today?”
The other guy answered, “Very well. I got a ride home.”
Joke #13092
BOXING INSTRUCTOR (to a student who had his first lesson): “How did you like it, Benny? Do you have any questions?”
BOXER BENNY: “Yep! Do you have a correspondence course?”
Joke #13091
Old maids are like fishermen — they’re always talking about the ones that get away.
Joke #13090
Did you hear about the loony athlete? He drowned trying to play ice hockey on Lake Ontario… in August!
Joke #13089
Did you hear about the loony fisherman? He baited his hook with a rubber mouse because he wanted to catch a catfish.
Joke #13088
Did you hear about the loony outfielder who thought he was a frog? He caught flies on his tongue.
Joke #13087
Q: What kind of baseball games did loony King Henry VIII like to watch?
A: Double-headers!
Joke #13086
Q: How did the loony volleyball player break his neck?
A: After the game he tried to jump over the net to congratulate the losers.
Joke #13085
Q: Why is it hard to keep score when a loony basketball team plays a normal basketball team?
A: Because both teams shoot the ball in the same basket.
Joke #13084
Q: Why did the loony water polo team lose every game?
A: Because their horses couldn’t swim.
Joke #13083
If I were a turtle, the bank would probably repossess my shell.
Joke #13082
With my luck — even if my lawn were made of artificial turf, there’d be real dandelions in it.