Q: How can you sprain yourself in an Olympic event?
A: By slipping a discus.
Q: How can you sprain yourself in an Olympic event?
A: By slipping a discus.
Q: Why did the meek baseball player have such a low batting average?
A: Because he wouldn’t hit a fly.
Q: What’s the difference between a softball and a hardball?
A: The difference between a lump and a concussion.
Q: Why is Lady Godiva considered a sports gambler?
A: She put everything she had on a horse.
Q: Why do union officials make good umpires?
A: They’re always calling strikes.
Two baseball pitcher were out in the bullpen one sunny day. The first pitcher asked, “Is our manager cheap?”
The other hurler replied, “Cheap? He tosses dimes around like they were manhole covers.”
FIRST GOLFER: “You look happy. Your score must have been good today.”
SECOND GOLFER: “My score has really improved since I bought this pencil with an eraser on it.”
How about the baseball player who really was fast? In one game, he stole third base while his pants were still on second.
SON: “When you were in school, Dad, did you participate in any sports?”
FATHER: “Track was my best sport. I’ll never forget the day I ran the hundred-yard dash in only seven seconds. And if I ever catch the guy who put those bees in my shorts, I’ll kill him!”
Did you hear about the near-sighted basketball player who married a giraffe?
A football scout returned from the hills of Kentucky and told his boss, “I found a kid up there who is six feet, nine inches tall and weighs four hundred pounds. He has hands like hams and a neck size of thirty inches.”
The college coach jumped up from behind his desk and shouted, “He sounds like what the team needs. Bring him in.”
“I can’t,” said the scout. “His chain only reaches ten feet.”
WILLIE: “What’s the name of your baseball team?”
BILLIE: “The Scrambled Eggs.”
WILLIE: “The Scrambled Eggs? Why did you pick that name?”
BILLIE: “Because we’re always getting beaten.”
Manager to his whipped prize fighter: “Keep on swinging, kid. The draft may give him a bad cold.”
FRESHMAN: “I went out for the football team today and I think I made it.”
JUNIOR: “What makes you think you made the team?”
FRESHMAN: “Well, the coach took one look at me and said, ‘Oh, no, this is the end!'”
The battered prize fighter sat in his corner between rounds and said to his manager, “I think I got him worried. He’s afraid he’s going to kill me.”