Reporter: “Stop the presses, stop the presses!”
Editor: “You have a big story?”
Reporter: “No, but I left my lunch on one of them this morning.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #10757
Bachelor: “I’ll have you know girls tear their hair to go out with me.”
Bachelorette: “That’s fine, if you happen to like bald-headed girls.”
Joke #10756
Bill: “I was in bed with 102 last night.”
Sill: “Wow! It must’ve been very crowded.”
Joke #10755: Who’s That Knocking At My Door?
Another knock came at my door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“Captain Ahab,” someone called.
Turning toward the door, I cried, “Ah, shove off, mate!”
Joke #10754: Who’s That Knocking At My Door?
A knock came at my door.
“Who’s there?” I called.
“King Kong,” someone shouted.
Hearing that, I went ape!
Joke #10753: Who’s That Knocking At My Door?
A knock came at our door. “Who is it?” I asked.
A gruff voice replied, “It’s Jack the Ripper.”
I turned to my wife and said, “It’s for you, dear.”
About an hour later there was another knock at my door. “Who’s there?” I shouted.
The caller replied, “Jack the Ripper.”
Smiling, I called, “Sorry, I already gave.”
Joke #10752
Talk about rotten luck. Last year I won a lifetime supply of salt water taffy and the very next day I had to have all my teeth pulled out.
Joke #10751
Father: “A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.”
Son: “No wonder I flunked my final exam!”
Joke #10750
Did you hear about the man who invented a pen with a meatball point for people who wanted to write in tomato sauce?
Joke #10749
The boss found a boy in the stock room just standing around doing nothing. “How much do you get paid a week?” he asked the boy.
The boy replied, “Twenty dollars.”
Taking a twenty-dollar bill out of his wallet, the boss gave it to the boy and said, “Here, take this. Now get out of here and don’t come back.”
As the boy walked out the door, the boss said to the manager, “How long has that lazy kid been working for us?”
“He doesn’t work for us,” replied the manager. “He just delivered a package.”
Joke #10748
Did you hear about the farmer who planted the metal Christmas tree farm that didn’t work out?
Now he’s out looking for the salesman who sold him 5,000 aluminum acorns.
Joke #10741
Q: Why do fish swim in schools?
A: Because they can’t walk in schools.
Joke #10740
Q: Why did the bowling pins stop working?
A: Because they went on strike.
Joke #10739
Q: If a snake had feet, what would you call them?
A: Snakers instead of sneakers.
Joke #10738
Q: What is thin, white, and scary?
A: Homework.