Two kids were walking to school one day. The first boy said, “I don’t think my parents like me.”
“Why do you say that?” asked his friend.
“Well, when y mother makes me sandwiches, she wraps them in a road map.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #11944
BARTENDER: “Look, pal, drinking whiskey is slow poison.”
MAN: “That’s okay. I’m in no hurry.”
Joke #11943
Did you hear about the simpleton who put iodine in his wallet because he had a cut in take-home pay?
Joke #11942
JIMMY: “My sister ate some chicken last night.”
TIMMY: “Croquette?”
JIMMY: “No, not yet.”
Joke #11941
CIVIL SERVICE PROVERB:
Old mailmen never die — they just loose their zip.
Joke #11940
Did you hear about the woman who got her head stuck in the washing machine and ended up brainwashed?
Joke #11939
We know a man who lived in a really small town. He said they closed down the local library because someone took out the book.
Joke #11938
CAUGHT IN PASSING: “I won’t say my house is old, but when you pull down the window shade, the rest of the house comes with it.”
Joke #11937
FIRST NUT: “I bet if I turn this flashlight on, you can’t climb up the beam.”
SECOND NUT: “What do you think I am — crazy? I’ll get halfway up and you’ll turn it off.”
Joke #11936
MR. BOGGS: “Yesterday, I had to shoot my dog!”
MR. NERPS: “Was he mad?”
MR. BOGGS: “Well, he certainly wasn’t pleased about it.”
Joke #11935
A kid selling newspapers on a busy corner in New York City was yelling, “Read all about it — 29 people swindled!”
A man stopped and bought a newspaper from him.
After reading the headline, he said, “Hey, there’s nothing in here about 29 people being swindled.”
“Read all about it –,” shouted the newsboy. “30 people swindled!”
Joke #11934
DUMB DAN: “My uncle shot himself two feet above his head.”
SMART SAM: “How could he shoot himself two feet above his head?”
DUMB DAN: “He jumped!”
Joke #11933
Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.
– Jay Leno
Joke #11931
MURDERER: “What are my chances of going to heaven?”
MINISTER: “Let me put it this way. if I were you, I’d wear Bermuda shorts to my funeral.”
Joke #11930
WOMAN: “Why did God create Adam first?”
MAN: “To give him a chance to say something.”