WILSON: “If you don’t marry me, Nelly, I’ll get a rope and hang myself in front of your home.”
NELLY: “Please, Wilson, don’t do that. you know my daddy doesn’t want you hanging around here.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12398
Did you hear about the pet rock who took his wife for granite, so she divorced him?
Joke #12397
A father told a friend, “I stopped my son from getting to school late by buying him a car.”
“How did that stop his lateness?” asked the friend.
The father answered, “Now he gets there early so he can find a parking space.”
Joke #12396
A father knows his kids are growing up when his daughter starts applying lipstick and his son starts wiping it off.
Joke #12395
MRS. O’DAY: “Your husband seems to be a man of rare gifts.”
MRS. O’HAY: “That he is. He hasn’t given me one since we were married five years ago.”
Joke #12394
Wife to her husband: “I could balance this household budget, dear, if you made 500 dollars more a week.”
Joke #12393
MR. BROWN: “I am very worried. It’s raining so hard and my wife is downtown.”
MR. GREEN: “Don’t worry! She’ll most likely go into some store and shop until it stops raining.”
MR. BROWN: “That’s what I’m worried about.”
Joke #12392
A man in a department store said to a clerk, “I would like a fur coat for my wife.”
The clerk said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t exchange!”
Joke #12391
Two teenaged gals met one day in a candy store. The first girl said, “I haven’t seen your brother, Mike, in years. Where has he been?”
The second girl replied, “Mike’s in college. He’s taking medicine.”
The first teenager said, “I sure hope he gets well.”
Joke #12390
Did you hear about the rich Texan who bought his dog a boy?
Joke #12389
After reading a good-night story to her 5-year-old daughter, the mother asked, “Where did the three little kittens find their mittens?”
The girl answered, “In the Yellow Pages?”
Joke #12388
FIRST MAN: “My wife and I are going to the beach for our vacation.”
SECOND MAN: “We saved money on our vacation last summer. Instead of going to the seashore, we stayed home, and every morning my wife passed a fish under my nose and threw sand in my face.”
Joke #12387
A teenaged boy drove his old car up to a toll booth on a highway. The toll collector said, “75 cents.”
The kid said, “Sold!”
Joke #12386
A husband looking at his checkbook was heard to say to his wife, “I figured it out. Right now I have enough money to last us the rest of our lives. Of course if I buy something, that’s a different story.”
Joke #12385
Is my wife a good cook? Ha! I know garbage disposals that eat better than I do.