I read in a newspaper about a kangaroo in the Bronx Zoo who has no pep. The vet diagnosed him as out of bounds.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12719
MAN: “Hey, you, kid! What are you doing in my tree?”
BOY: “Well your sign said to keep off the grass.”
Joke #12718
My boss has a heart of stone. He can trace his roots back to a petrified forest.
Joke #12717
REPORTER: “Do you pace up and down your office when you dictate?”
BOSS: “No, I can’t do that.”
REPORTER: “Oh, I see. Your secretary sits on your lap.”
Joke #12716
SECRETARY: “I don’t care much for a man’s company, unless he owns it.”
Joke #12715
What kind of girl is she? Let me put it this way. As soon as a man loses his capital, she loses her interest.
Joke #12714
BOSS: “Watch out for your new secretary. She has a split personality.”
OFFICE BACHELOR: “What do you mean?”
BOSS: “If she finds you have a fat savings account, she’ll try to get you to split it with her.”
Joke #12713
My boyfriend has gone around with more women than a revolving door in a beauty salon.
Joke #12712
BOYFRIEND: “Let’s be true to each other even though we’re going to be away from each other all summer. I promise to go out only with men.”
GIRLFRIEND: “Okay. I promise to do the same.”
Joke #12711
OVERHEARD: “I want a man who’s clever enough to make a lot of money, and dumb enough to spend it all on me.”
Joke #12710
WIFE: “Wake up! Wake up! There’s a burglar in the kitchen and he’s eating the leftover stew we had for supper.”
HUSBAND: “Go back to sleep and don’t worry, dear. I’ll bury him in the morning.”
Joke #12709
If I’m a man not a mouse, why do I feel faint every time I see a cat?
Joke #12708
JUDGE: “Tell me, Miss, do you promise to take the groom for better or worse?”
BRIDE: “Judge, I promise to take him for everything.”
Joke #12707
LADY: “Tell me, if I took out a million dollars worth of life insurance on my husband he died the next day, what would I get?”
ATTORNEY: “Life!”
Joke #12706
A weatherman who predicts sunny weather and gets just the opposite is a forecaster who’s all wet.