My husband makes my life miserable. If I were reincarnated as a dog, he’d come back as a flea.
Category Archives: (C) Misandry Jokes
Joke #12422
My husband is so lazy that now with easy open lids on beer cans, he doesn’t get any exercise at all.
Joke #12418
Q: Do you know what keeps the average married man from buying a color TV set?
A: …Reading the price tag in black and white.
Joke #12411
If I was cremated, my ex-wife would probably have my ashes put in a spittoon.
Joke #12409
My husband has an odd job. If he has a job, it’s odd.
Joke #12408
“The brakes are gone!” cried the wife. “I can’t stop the car. What should I do?”
Her husband beside her in the front seat said, “Keep calm and look for a cheap economy car.”
“Why bother to look for a cheap economy car?” she asked.
“Do you think I’m going to let you stop by crashing into a brand new luxury car?”
Joke #12406
My husband cultivates friends like he does his garden… with continual digs.
Joke #12405
It’s easy to understand why my husband doesn’t mind his own business. He doesn’t own a mind or a business.
Joke #12398
Did you hear about the pet rock who took his wife for granite, so she divorced him?
Joke #12395
MRS. O’DAY: “Your husband seems to be a man of rare gifts.”
MRS. O’HAY: “That he is. He hasn’t given me one since we were married five years ago.”
Joke #12383
LITTLE JIMMY: “My father can beat your father.”
LITTLE TIMMY: “Big deal. Even my mother can beat my father.”
Joke #12370
Talk about lazy! My husband taught our poodle how to roller skate so he wouldn’t have to walk the dog.
Joke #12362
TILLIE: “Mary, are you still happily married to Tom?”
MARY: “No. Last year, a relationship that began with sentiment ended with a settlement.”
Joke #12356
My wife admits that she’s not perfect. She’s the first one to say she’s made mistakes in the past. That’s how she explains our marriage.
Joke #12306
Stopped by a motorcycle cop, the driver didn’t say a word, but his wife sitting in the back seat said, “He wasn’t driving any faster than he always does.”