Q: What do blondes and vacuum cleaners have in common?
A: They both suck, they both blow, and they both get laid in the closet!
Category Archives: (C) Blonde Jokes
Jokes about Blondes.
Joke #5327
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow stepped on her.
Joke #5326
There is an American and a Russian arguing about what country was better.
The Russian says, “We were the first to launch a satellite into space.”
The American laughed in his face and said, “that’s nothing, we were the first to land on the moon.”
A Canadian blonde, over hearing the conversation, walks up and says, “That’s nothing, we are gonna be the first to land on the sun.”
The American and Russian looked at each other and said “Are you mad? You’ll die.”
The blonde responds, “Shows how much you know. We’re going at night.”
Joke #5325
Two blondes are walking down the street, when they see a compact lying on the sidewalk.
They decide to see if they can find who it belongs to, so the first blonde picks it up, opens it, and says, “Hey, this person does look kinda familiar!”
The second blonde takes it from her and yells, “You idiot, that’s me!”
Joke #5324
There is a blonde cooking.
She got careless and caught the curtains on fire. She called the fire department and says “hurry my curtains are on fire!”
The man says “How do we get there?”
The blonde says, “the BIG RED TRUCK DUH.”
Joke #5323
Three blonde dudes were walking through the woods when they got to a river.
Looking for a way to cross it, one dude found a magic lamp then a genie came out of it and said he would grant each dude one wish.
The first dude said “I wanna get accross this river.” So the genie granted him the power to swim and he swam to the other side.
Then the second dude said “I wanna get accross this river without getting my hair wet.” So the genie gave him a raft and he rode the raft to the other side.
Then the third dude said “I wanna get accross this river without getting my hair wet or touching the raft.” Then the genie was getting annoyed, so he turned him into a brunette woman then she simply walked across the bridge that was next to them the whole time.
Joke #5322
Q: What would happen if you asked a blonde how to keep her busy for hours and hours?
A: How would she know? She’s still flippin the paper!
Joke #5321
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They entered a bar and when the waitress came over they ordered some drinks.
A few minutes later they went to the bathroom and there was a woman sitting outside. The woman said “Beware of our new attraction, the mirror. If you tell the truth you will be rewarded with riches, but if you lie, you will be sucked into the mirror forever.”
So the redhead walks into the bathroom and up to the mirror and says “I think I am the most beautiful of us three.” She found herself holding the keys to a new really nice car.
Then the brunette goes to the mirror and says “I think I am the most talented of us three.”
Then the blonde goes up to the mirror and says “I think…” and was immedietly sucked into the mirror.
Joke #5320
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go out hunting. The brunette goes out and comes back with a deer.
“How did you do that?” asks the blonde and the redhead.
The brunette replies “I followed its tracks.”
The redhead goes out and also comes back with a deer.
“How did you do that?” the blonde and the brunette ask.
“I followed its tracks” the redhead says.
The blonde goes and and follows the tracks… and gets hit by a train!
Joke #5319
A blonde goes to a hairdresser to get a hair cut. She sits down in the chair with her walkman on and the earphones in her ears.
The hairdresser says “I’m sorry, Miss, but I’ll have to take out those earphones so I can cut your hair.” The blonde replies “you can’t, I need them to live.”
The hairdresser starts cutting her hair with her earphones still on. Then the hairdresser says again “Im sorry, Miss but I really need to take out those earphones so I can cut your hair.”
She gets the same answer and continues cutting. for the last and final time she asks “Miss, I really need to take out those earphones to cut your hair” “no,” says the blonde “I need it to live” ignoring her answer the hairdresser yanks teh earphones out and the blonde falls dead.
“Weird,” thinks the hairdresser. she puts the earphones in her ears and plays the cd that plays “breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out”
Joke #5318
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A: The Titanic only went down once.
Joke #5317
There was a brunette mother who had two teenage blonde daughters. She asked them if they could paint the house while she went shopping.
They both agreed, and right before the mother left the house, she asked them not to get their clothes dirty. So then she took off, and the two blondes obeyed their mother by taking off their clothes so they wouldn’t get them dirty.
Then when they were about halfway done, they heard a knock on the door, so without opening the door, they asked who it was, and the person on the other side answered “the blind man.” So the two blondes thought, ok, he’s blind, he cant see anything…so they opened the door and the blind man said, “nice tits, ladies, but where do you want the blinds?”
Joke #5316
There were 5 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope on the edge of a cliff.
The rope could only hold 5 people and it was just about to snap.
The brunette says, “Save yourselves, I’ll let go” and sure enough she did.
Amazed at the brunettes bravery all the blondes clap.
Joke #5315
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn’t follow you around for weeks after you put a load into it.
Joke #5314
Q: What do you call a rich blonde? A: Stupid
Q: What do you call a poor blonde? A: Still stupid.