Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass fence?
A: To see what was on the other side
Category Archives: (C) Blonde Jokes
Jokes about Blondes.
Joke #5281
Q: Why dont blondes go water skiing?
A: They lay down as soon as their crotches get wet
Joke #5280
A blonde is going on vacation, and she’s lookin’ for more money to give her that’s how stupid she is. You know why she is blonde? Because her boyfriend is Blonde too. Damn blonde……………..
Joke #5278
Q: What do you call a blonde with one brain cell?
A: Gifted
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant
Joke #5277
A blonde is going on vacation, and she’s lookin’ for a little extra money.
She knocks on her nieghbor’s door and and asks if there are any odd-end jobs she could do.
He was like you know actually my porch needs to get painted. She looks at it and says ok I’ll do it for $50 bucks.
He was like whoa that’s a great deal, you can go ahead and get started, paints in the shed.
The man comes back out in a couple hours and sees that there is no paint on the porch. The blonde is walking up the sidewalk as he is about to protest about the porch.
As she nonchalantly says, ” I put on two coats because there was extra paint. Ohh and it’s not a Porsche… It’s a Lexus.”
Joke #5276
Q: Why was the blonde’s bellybutton sore?
A: Cause her boyfriend was blonde too!
Joke #5275
Q: A smart blonde and a dumb blonde jumped off the empire state building. Who landed 1st?
A: The dumb blonde, smart ones dont exsist!
Joke #5274
There is a brunette, redhead, and a blonde being held captive and they are going to be executed. They bring out the brunette and say, “Any last words?” She replied, “No.” The guys with the guns said, “Ready aim…”
“TORNADO,” yells the brunette. Everyone ducked and she ran away. Then they bring out the redhead. “Any last words?” they asked. “No,” she replied. “Ready aim…”
“EARTHQUAKE,” yelled the redhead. They all ducked and she ran away. Lastly, they bring out the blonde. “Any last words?” asked the firing squad. “No,” the blonde said. “Ready aim…..”
And the blonde screams, “FIRE!!!!!!”
Joke #5273
There’s this blonde who walks into a convenience store. She picks up a thermos and asks the clerk, “What is this thing?” The clerk responds, “It’s a thermos. It keeps hot htings hot and cold things cold.”
“Neat,” says the blonde and buys the thermos. The next day she goes to work with her new thermos. A co-worker asks her, “I like your new thermos. What do you have in it?” She proudly says, “Two cups of coffee and a popsicle.”
Joke #5272
There are three girls going on a long car trip in the desert.
One has brown hair, one is a redhead, and other is a blonde. All of a sudden the car stops.
“Darn, it won’t start!” exclaims the brown haired girl.
“Okay, we’ll just have to walk across the desert to get help,” says the redhead, “So, bring anything that is necessary for survival.”
The brunette brings some water in a big bottle. The redhead bring a hand held fan, and the blonde goes over to the car and rips off the car door.
As they are walking the girls dcide to stop to take a break.
The brunette drinks some water, and the redhead turns on the little fan. The blonde rolls down the car window and says, “Ahh, now that’s better!”
Joke #5271
There was a blonde and a brunette watching the 6 o’ clock news. The top story was about a man on top of the Rose Hotel threatening to jump.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, “I bet you $50 he is going to jump.”
The blonde says, “Okay, then I’ll bet he won’t.”
Sure enough, the man jumped.
When the blonde paid the brunett the brunette says, “I’m sorry but I can’t accept your money.” The blonde replies, “Sure you can. It was a fair bet, you won.” Then the brunette says, “No, I saw the 5 o’ clock news and I already knew what was going to happen.”
Then the blonde says, “Well, I saw the 5 o’ clock news too and I was sure he wouldn’t jump again!”
Joke #5270
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The shepherd, always the gentlemen replied, “Of course.” The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, “352.”
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, “You’re right! Okay, I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.” The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “Okay, now I have a propostition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”
Joke #5269
Three Blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful…”
“Wrong!” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, “What is Easter?” The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.”
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, “What is Easter?” The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.”
“Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously.
“Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.”
St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.
The third blonde continued, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out…and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.”
Joke #5268
A blonde woman gets on a plane headed for Miami. The blonde woman has a coach ticket but spots an open seat in first class, so, she takes it. The flight attendant walks up and says, “I’m sorry, Miss, but you will have to go back to your seat in coach.” The blonde woman refuses, “I’m blonde, I’m a woman, and I’m staying right here.”
Then the flight attendant goes to get the captain and brings him back to the problem blonde. The captain says, “Miss, you have to go back to your seat now.” She responds with, “I’m blonde, I’m a woman, and I’m staying right here..”
Then the captain bends over and whispers something in the blonde’s ear. She then gets up and walks back to her seat in coach. The flight attendant is amazed and askes, “How did you do that?” The captain simply said, “I told her this half of the plane wasn’t going to Miami.”
Joke #5266: Corn Field
A blonde was sitting in the middle of a corn field, fishing. Another blonde pulls up in her car next to the corn field and says, “What the hell are you doing?” The blonde in the rowboat says, “I’m fishing.” The blonde in the car says, “I would come in there and fish too, but I can’t swim.”