Category Archives: Prank IMs

1 to 1 pranks.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6372: davepoobond -> Squall

Leave a comment
This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series Squall Is Not From Kansas

davepoobond: boo

Squall: who is this

davepoobond: Asdilik Pickinson

Squall: ohh

davepoobond: 1423 Oak Park Drive

Squall: right…

davepoobond: Missouri, Kansas

davepoobond: i didnt name the town, i’m sorry

Squall: i dont know anyone from kansas

davepoobond: so what

davepoobond: now you do

Squall: right..

davepoobond: so whats up

Squall: nuthin

davepoobond: same with me. momma is milking the cows, and my sister is milking the chickens, and i’m trying to make millions of dollars on the internet so we dont have to milk any animals any more

Squall: right…

davepoobond: guess whos back

Squall: your mom?

davepoobond: back again

davepoobond: guess whos back guess whos back guess whos back guess whos back guess whos back

davepoobond: EM EM EM EM EM INEM

davepoobond: DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

davepoobond: actually my moms back now

davepoobond: she wants to talk to you

davepoobond: is that ok

Squall: no

davepoobond: seriously now, you dont remember who i am?

Squall: no

Stupid IMs, Prank IMs, Chat Logs

#6366: softballgur -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

softballgur: hey

softballgur: a/s/l again i forget

davepoobond: uhh

davepoobond: what

davepoobond: i never told it to you

softballgur: a/s/l

davepoobond: 12/bisexual/louisiana

softballgur: female or male?

davepoobond: whats that?

softballgur: r u a boy or a gurl?

davepoobond: both

softballgur: what?

softballgur: were u born a boy or a girl

davepoobond: i dont know

softballgur: how don’t u no

davepoobond: because all the doctors say i am a boy and girl

softballgur: r u half a gurl but the half a boy

davepoobond: uh i gues

softballgur: * so ur half boy and half gurl

softballgur: ummm ok

davepoobond: ya

davepoobond: thats it

davepoobond: i asked my mom and she said yes

softballgur: o

softballgur: do u have a dick?

davepoobond: ya

davepoobond: of course

davepoobond: thats what makes me half a guy

softballgur: do u have brest

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: do you

Previous message was not received by softballgur because of error: User softballgur is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6365: softballgur -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

softballgur: hey

softballgur: a/s/;

davepoobond: hi

softballgur: *a/s/l

davepoobond: 5/m/3tits City

davepoobond: you

softballgur: ur 5 years old?

davepoobond: um yeah

davepoobond: i’m just trying to get some

davepoobond: i’m sorry

davepoobond: i barely know how to type

davepoobond: my mom is typing for me

softballgur: ha

davepoobond: say hi mom

davepoobond: hi mom

davepoobond: see thats her

softballgur: hello

softballgur: sup?

davepoobond: nothing. i’m bored so i’m typing for little chester here

softballgur: kool

davepoobond: here, i’ll let chester do something

davepoobond:

davepoobond: that’s enough chester

davepoobond: i beat him everyday so he’s kind of retarded

softballgur: o

softballgur: y do u?

davepoobond: i told you, he’s retarded

softballgur: o

davepoobond: do you want him?

softballgur: no it’s ok

davepoobond: ok..

davepoobond: WANT A MIILLION DOLLARS?! Its FREE!

softballgur: sure

davepoobond: click the link then

davepoobond: did u go

softballgur: ya

davepoobond: k

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#6364: davepoobond -> DemonHatchet

Leave a comment

davepoobond: where’s my money at bitch. i know you were out last night.

DemonHatchet: yes i ws out

DemonHatchet: i am not giving you your money ho

davepoobond: HEY! WHOS THE HO HERE

davepoobond: YOU BE DA HO

DemonHatchet: you ?

DemonHatchet: i be da pimp

davepoobond: …

davepoobond: there seems to be some misunderstanding here

DemonHatchet: yea there is where is MY money?!?!?!

davepoobond: i dont know, but you should give it to me NOW, befo i get you offa da program

davepoobond: and OUT of the system

DemonHatchet: but it is my moneyyou work for me

davepoobond: no, you work for ME

davepoobond: you get da money

davepoobond: i protect you

davepoobond: and you give me dat money

DemonHatchet: no no no you work for my little cousin

davepoobond: o i pop you in da nose

davepoobond: your little cousing!

davepoobond: WAT BOY

davepoobond: OR GIRL

DemonHatchet: yea my little cousin

davepoobond: WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE LAST

davepoobond: hold on my momma wants to talk to you

DemonHatchet: boyee i gon cap you ass….

davepoobond: who is this

davepoobond: what the HELL are you doing talking to my son

davepoobond: you should be doing less talking and more giving money to him

DemonHatchet: just having a civilized chat madame

DemonHatchet: and he works for me

davepoobond: BULLLLLLLL SHIT

davepoobond: MY SON WORKS FOR NO ONE

davepoobond: I DIDNT RAISE HIM TO BE A SLAVE

DemonHatchet: yes he does

DemonHatchet: no you raised him to be an employee…

DemonHatchet: he gets a salary of a niclke a month

davepoobond: HOW DAAAAAAAREEEEEEEE YOU

davepoobond:

davepoobond:

davepoobond:

davepoobond: that’s enough momaa

davepoobond: you best pay me ‘fore this day is out

DemonHatchet: oh i am so sorry you wanted THAT money ok i will give you your nickle … just write to the office building … and the director of personel will give you your nickle …

davepoobond: nickles dont do good here

davepoobond: nickels do

DemonHatchet: yea your nickel

DemonHatchet: get it ! or i will fire you

davepoobond: fire me! i fire you!

davepoobond: bitch!

davepoobond: get outta my face

DemonHatchet: no you don’t!

davepoobond: WE ARE DONE TALKING

davepoobond: DONT BE FLAPPIN YER TRAP NO MO

DemonHatchet: I am not in your face i am lounging in my computer chair

davepoobond: I DONE WITH YOU

DemonHatchet: i am typing … foo

DemonHatchet: i think i am done wit chu

DemonHatchet: hello ?

DemonHatchet: are you dead ?

davepoobond: i thought we were DONE

DemonHatchet: no i thought you died! HURRAH you’re alive!!!

davepoobond: i’m done with you

davepoobond: give me my money and go away

DemonHatchet: no it is me who is done with you

davepoobond: fine

davepoobond: dont be ‘spectin any more protection

DemonHatchet: i am going to give you your nickel

DemonHatchet: this is funn

DemonHatchet: in fact for amusing me i am giving you a 100% raise you now get a dime every month

davepoobond: that means you give me 50 dollars

davepoobond: 100% of 5 equals 50

davepoobond: didnt you ever go to ho school, ho

davepoobond: the pimp always gets 1 zero on the end of a 100% increase

DemonHatchet: 100% of 5cents is 5 cents

davepoobond: AHEM

DemonHatchet: adding that to 5 is 10 which= a dime

davepoobond: didn’t you learn ANYTHING

DemonHatchet: yea i learned how to nap

davepoobond: .

DemonHatchet: i only payed attention in kindergraden

DemonHatchet: *paid

davepoobond: whos Attention

DemonHatchet: my half brother from kansas my step father was high when he named him

DemonHatchet: i gave him a cookie

davepoobond: what brand

DemonHatchet: oreo

davepoobond: ah HA

DemonHatchet: ?

davepoobond: how did i KNOW you were going to say that

DemonHatchet: becuase you like oreos

DemonHatchet: and they taste good

DemonHatchet: do you know why you knew i was gonna say oreo ?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: because all people that use oreos are hypocrites

DemonHatchet: iu am a hypocrite? it is you who are the htpocrite …. you lied about your mother she was you!

DemonHatchet: either that or you have multiple personality disorders

davepoobond: shut up

DemonHatchet: well if you are going to continue the funny i will brb

DemonHatchet: no

DemonHatchet: can i call you mr paperclip ?

DemonHatchet: ok fine then later mr paper clip … feel free to im me again it was funny

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6344: MESS -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

MESS: hey

davepoobond: hi. Who is this.

MESS: asl

davepoobond: 20/m

davepoobond: you

MESS: 19f

MESS: any pics?

davepoobond: nope. sorry.

MESS: how big is ue coock?

davepoobond: My what?

davepoobond: coock?

MESS: ur cock

davepoobond: 15 inches

MESS: ya right

davepoobond: all right

Previous message was not received by MESS because of error: User MESS is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6328: davepoobond -> minimouse

Leave a comment

In a chat, minimouse tells me to IM her.

——————–

davepoobond: WUT

minimouse: yo

minimouse: asl??

davepoobond: 56/quadsexual/hawaii

minimouse: ok

minimouse: you are nasty

minimouse: im 12

davepoobond: m or f

minimouse: doesn’t matter

davepoobond: i take both kinds if you know what i mean…

minimouse: wanna cyber??

davepoobond: 😉

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: you start

minimouse: u start

davepoobond: are you a m or f

minimouse: i a girl

davepoobond: ok

minimouse: u???

davepoobond: quad

davepoobond: told you

minimouse: what does that mean???

davepoobond: it means i have a penis, a vagina, a goozak and no eyes

minimouse: ok bye

minimouse: you would not be able to read w/ out eyes dork

davepoobond: i have a brail……..monitor

davepoobond: still wanna cyber?

Previous message was not received by minimouse because of error: User minimouse is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6327: willowslim -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

willowslim: asl

davepoobond: 56/quadsexual/hawaii

willowslim: f/m?

davepoobond: quad

davepoobond: quadsexual

willowslim: what

davepoobond: i have a vagina, penis, a goozak and no eyes. that makes me a quadsexual

willowslim: waht does it mean

willowslim: shit

willowslim: bye

willowslim: i don’t like quadsex

willowslim: asl

davepoobond: wtf are you talking about

davepoobond: i thought you didnt like quadsex

willowslim: sucking

willowslim: yeah

willowslim: i hate

willowslim: abominate

willowslim: how do u know that

davepoobond: what

willowslim: i don’t like quadsex

davepoobond: okaaaaaaaaaaaay

willowslim: u r a cheat

willowslim: asl

davepoobond: 56/quad/hawaii

davepoobond: i told you

willowslim: do u have any hardcore pic

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: go to www.arcticnetwork.net/squackle/

davepoobond: its hidden there

davepoobond: you have to look everywhere

davepoobond: and come back often

willowslim: send me some pic by email

davepoobond: dont have any on my computer

willowslim: it’s not conveninant to browse it in offic

willowslim: nope

willowslim: slimwillow@yahoo.com

davepoobond: yeah well thats your bad luck then.

davepoobond: i dont have an email address

davepoobond: just save the bookmark and go there later

willowslim: ok

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6323: davepoobond -> XeeD The CaT

Leave a comment

davepoobond: hi i have a 3rd tit

XeeD The CaT: I don’t. 🙁

davepoobond: wanna see me nude?

davepoobond: haha kitties

XeeD The CaT: only if you’re a cat o.o

davepoobond: ok go there then www.arcticnetwork.net/squackle/

davepoobond: brb have to poo

davepoobond: back

davepoobond: miss me

davepoobond: i ate a burrito and i pooped one out too duh huh

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#6314: Popboy -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

Popboy: who are you?

davepoobond: i’m wax

davepoobond: in your ear

Popboy: lol

Popboy: ok

Popboy: no really

davepoobond: duhuhuhuhuh

Popboy: jo

davepoobond: sorry i’m too involved in my laughing to read what you’re saying

davepoobond: duhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh

davepoobond: duhuhuhuh

Popboy: um o…..k

Popboy: ill be leaving now

Popboy: bye

davepoobond: nooooooooooo

davepoobond: waitttttttttttttttt

davepoobond: why’d you IM me

davepoobond: hello

davepoobond: hello

davepoobond: hello

davepoobond: hello

davepoobond: hello MOTO

Popboy: hello

davepoobond: ::dances around::

Popboy: cos ur in the room,,,and id like to know who u are

davepoobond: k

Popboy: well who are you

davepoobond: i’m the fuckin king of england

Popboy: oh cool

davepoobond: henry the 13242th

Popboy: but we dont have a king

davepoobond: shut up

Popboy: there is no king

Popboy: u must be the queen

davepoobond: i bone that old queen everyday

Popboy: AHAHAHA

davepoobond: and i cant even be called the king

Popboy: ok im gonna go now…cos ur freaky

Popboy: bye

davepoobond: nooooooooo

davepoobond: waittttttttttttttttt

Popboy: well?

davepoobond: go to my site

davepoobond: www.arcticnetwork.net/squackle

Popboy: ok

Popboy: bye

davepoobond: its got funny jokes, pictures and junk

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6313: davepoobond -> Ambro

Leave a comment

davepoobond: Are you a mommy?

Ambro: hell no

davepoobond: Are you my mommy?

Ambro: no

davepoobond: Why not?

Ambro: cause im a virgin

davepoobond: NO! MOMMY YOU LIE

davepoobond: YOU ABANDONED ME AS A YOUNGSTER

davepoobond: LOOK AT ME I CANT EVEN PSELL

davepoobond: ASDLKFJLKXJCV

Ambro: timmy is that you

davepoobond: mu……mommy?

davepoobond: why are you calling me timmy

davepoobond: IS THERE ANOTHER BABY IN YOUR LIFE?

davepoobond: HOW COULD YOU! I HAVE A BROTHER AND YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME

Ambro: not that i know of

davepoobond: I had to ask the Unsolved Mysteries guy to find you! do you know how bad that is?

davepoobond: to actually resort to that

davepoobond: hello?

davepoobond: where’s dad?

davepoobond: who IS dad?

davepoobond: mind telling me MOTHER

davepoobond: ok mom, i get it.

Ambro: your dad is osama bin laden

Ambro: fuck off sand n*gger

davepoobond: hey hey hey WHOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THERE

davepoobond: slow down.

davepoobond: slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww down

davepoobond: slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww down

davepoobond: you didnt just use the s-n word

davepoobond: that is TOTALLY uncalled for

Ambro: im your mother i can call u that

davepoobond: if i’m one then you’re one

davepoobond: silly woman.

davepoobond: its women like you that make me more right in the fact that women shouldn’t have the right to vote.

davepoobond: “oooh! lets vote for Bush” they all said

davepoobond: but then he comes and screws them all in the ass with the “no abortion” crap

Ambro: i didnt vote for bush

davepoobond: sure ya didnt

Ambro: i swear

davepoobond: mmhmm

davepoobond: tell it to the judge!

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6312: davepoobond -> allymd

Leave a comment

In her profile, it basically says she’s a stay at home mom and it also says “i dont cyber so dont even ask”

————————-

davepoobond: wanna cyber?

allymd: nope

davepoobond: it says you do in your profile

davepoobond: is it because i have funny hair?

davepoobond: or is it because i have no pubes

davepoobond: get a job

davepoobond: pshhh

davepoobond: i have a job

davepoobond: i manicure people’s eyebrows

Previous message was not received by allymd44 because of error: User allymd44 is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6280: TJ the Almighty -> agentbond

Leave a comment
This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series agentbond

After #6279, I had TJ the Almighty IM agentbond and mess around with him.

—————————-

TJ the Almighty: dude whats the math homework?

agentbond: who is this

agentbond: what is your name

TJ the Almighty: dude its me frank

agentbond: all right asshole fuck off now or we’ll track you down

TJ the Almighty: max chill out

TJ the Almighty: i juts want the math homework

agentbond: that’s a fucking threat

TJ the Almighty: hehehehe you said fucking

TJ the Almighty: kinda like potatoes eh?

agentbond: you can get in serious shit for harassing people online

TJ the Almighty: the math homework made me do it