Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5946: blowthetoad -> Janelle

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blowthetoad: weeee

Janelle: wut

Janelle: i can’t talk

Janelle: bye

blowthetoad: huh?

Janelle: bye

blowthetoad: why are u online then?

Janelle: becuase

Janelle: i’am looking things up

blowthetoad: aim is for talk

Janelle: soo

blowthetoad: then why are you on?

blowthetoad: if u can’t talk

Janelle: becuase

Janelle: i donno

blowthetoad: there is no point

Janelle: soo

blowthetoad: well, people are gonna im you

blowthetoad: and u can’t talk

blowthetoad: and aim is for talk…

blowthetoad: so why be on?

Janelle: beucase

Janelle: i’am waitng for someone to get on

blowthetoad: i thought you can’ttalk

Janelle: i’am not talking i’am gonna talk when the person gets on

blowthetoad: ok, i will im you when the personget’s on ok?

Janelle: oh k

blowthetoad: why do u deside 2 talk when that person get’s on?

Janelle: becuase

Janelle: ok i’ll talk now

Janelle: omg

blowthetoad: what

Janelle: y

Janelle: nm

blowthetoad: k

blowthetoad: wee woo

Janelle: yea ok

blowthetoad: ha hah ahah

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5944: blowthetoad -> THEvPROPHET

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blowthetoad: poop

THEvPROPHET: hi

THEvPROPHET: whos this?

blowthetoad: booger wooger

THEvPROPHET: who is this?!

blowthetoad: john jacb jingle hiemer schmitt

THEvPROPHET: is this jack?

blowthetoad: yah

blowthetoad: to tell you the truth………

blowthetoad: YOU DON’T KNOW JACK, CUZ YOUR ON CRACK!

THEvPROPHET: no im not

blowthetoad: hinkle dinkle winkle do!

blowthetoad: do you eat boogers?

THEvPROPHET: is this jack?

blowthetoad: don’t know

THEvPROPHET: ur friggin gay

blowthetoad: your mama yo daddy, yo bald headed granny with a hole in her pantie!

blowthetoad: stop screaming at my microwave, face it…..

blowthetoad: DONT LOVE YOU!

blowthetoad: LALALAALALALALA

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#5943: blowthetoad -> Lilwill

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blowthetoad: poop

Lilwill: hi

Lilwill: a/s/l?

blowthetoad: 1,000,000/?/Uranus

Lilwill: wow

Lilwill: ttoo old for me

Lilwill: PE@CE

blowthetoad: no

blowthetoad: shit

blowthetoad: ass

blowthetoad: i have a poty moth

blowthetoad: it looks like a butterfly

blowthetoad: humper dinkle winkle minkles

blowthetoad: eat my condom

blowthetoad: c’mon willy pilly bo billy fe fi fo dilly!

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5942: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

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blowthetoad: <—–i eat poop

davepoobond: thats crazy

davepoobond: why would you do that

blowthetoad: i don’t know

davepoobond: does it taste good?

blowthetoad: flowers smell nasty

blowthetoad: and yes, it does

blowthetoad: would you like to by it from www.ebay.com?

davepoobond: no

blowthetoad: i am too overstalked

blowthetoad: yes you will

davepoobond: i..will?

blowthetoad: yup yup yup

blowthetoad: stop teasing me you bastard

blowthetoad: i eat shit

blowthetoad: stop it!

davepoobond: blah

blowthetoad: blee blee

blowthetoad: bo hoe soto!

blowthetoad: i am gonna eat your butthole

davepoobond: no

blowthetoad: YES!

davepoobond: i’ll smack you if you come near my ass!

blowthetoad: I’ll blow a pump up your dick and i will suck on your ass

davepoobond: i dont see how you can do that

blowthetoad: i am gonna tell Dave Bond and he will kick your ass, you stupid FAG!

davepoobond: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…..k

blowthetoad: Dave is my homeboy and he will kill you!

davepoobond: all right

blowthetoad: matter of fact, i will make your dick purple and i will put a sign on your back that says purple penis eater!

davepoobond: yeah!? well, yo’ momma’s so fat, she could be rowled down a bowling alley!

blowthetoad: Yo mama;s so stupid she trips over a cordless phone!

davepoobond: !

blowthetoad: your dick is so small you use a condom to have safer sex!

davepoobond: !

davepoobond: …..

davepoobond: that doesnt make sense

blowthetoad: Yes it does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blowthetoad: Dave is going to kill you!

davepoobond: no

blowthetoad: yes

davepoobond: no

blowthetoad: stop saying that potty mouth and go suck dick

blowthetoad: yes

blowthetoad: yes

blowthetoad: yes

blowthetoad: yes

blowthetoad: yes

davepoobond: your name is “Mrs. YesIAm”

blowthetoad: …………

blowthetoad: 🙁

blowthetoad: Jesus doesnt love you!

davepoobond: i knew that when he made me live

blowthetoad: my mom thinks your a dirtbag!

davepoobond: k

blowthetoad: i love you

blowthetoad: lets stop

blowthetoad: now

davepoobond: no

blowthetoad: yes

davepoobond: you dont love me

davepoobond: its all fake

blowthetoad: i know

davepoobond: its a damn lie and you know it!

blowthetoad: i dont love you

davepoobond: good

davepoobond: die

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5941: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

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blowthetoad: \/\/ :: makes ‘W’ with hands ::

davepoobond: ok

blowthetoad: |_ :: makes “L” with index and thumb ::

davepoobond: /\/\

blowthetoad: i know i am stpud, i wish i were mature, don’t u?

davepoobond: yeah, sure.

blowthetoad: tell me your secret

davepoobond: well.

davepoobond: no.

davepoobond: it wouldnt be a secret then.

davepoobond: hence it is “my secret”

blowthetoad: a period…. your so punctual

blowthetoad: ok…. tell me how u be mature

davepoobond: i dont.

blowthetoad: well… u use big words

blowthetoad: should i do that?

davepoobond: in real life i go around saying poop all the time and annoying the shit-ka-doodles out of people

blowthetoad: lol

blowthetoad: or is that just to your friends?

davepoobond: no….usually to people i dont know, or people that i hate

blowthetoad: or people on the streets

blowthetoad: ?

davepoobond: at school

blowthetoad: heh, i did that

davepoobond: ok

blowthetoad: has your mom ever been to Squackle?

davepoobond: 1 time

blowthetoad: did she like it?

davepoobond: doubt it.

blowthetoad: can she breakdance?

davepoobond: hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa no.

blowthetoad: aw well

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5940: blowthetoad -> TheMuIIetMaMa

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blowthetoad: i can flush a toilit!

blowthetoad: so there

TheMuIIetMaMa: oh yeah

TheMuIIetMaMa: i can flush a urinal

blowthetoad: yeah!

TheMuIIetMaMa: yeah

blowthetoad: i can run upide down while saying poop

TheMuIIetMaMa: i can run around the block naked singing when the ants go marching

blowthetoad: well i can ride a unicycle naked upside down, naked, inside out, with 1000 marbles in my mouth, and singing the national anthem!

blowthetoad: so there!

blowthetoad: haha, poop ate your tounge!

TheMuIIetMaMa: well

blowthetoad: well is my name, don’t ware it too much, it’ll get dirty!

TheMuIIetMaMa: i can ride a space ship to mars and do the macarana while i break out singing the theme song to facts of life while i eat some bbq chicken

TheMuIIetMaMa: hey whats your name?

blowthetoad: for the love of letter 7, i can swallow a 20000000 pound brick, walk on my pinkys, jump to the moon, turn out the lights, and go to bed, 11 times without stop!

blowthetoad: beet that u crazy mo-fo!

TheMuIIetMaMa: lol

blowthetoad: i said beat it! just beat it!

TheMuIIetMaMa: no one wants to beat it

TheMuIIetMaMa: lol

blowthetoad: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT OH BEEEEEEAT IIIIIIT. JUST BEAT IT!

TheMuIIetMaMa: no one was to be defeated

TheMuIIetMaMa: just beat it

TheMuIIetMaMa: i really dont think i can beat that one either

blowthetoad: thats my line (*NOTE: blowthetoad – I meant the ‘just beat it part’ this note was not included in actual conversation)

TheMuIIetMaMa: yeah?

blowthetoad: JUST BEAT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

blowthetoad: BEAT IT

blowthetoad: O BEAT IT

blowthetoad: O BEAT IT

TheMuIIetMaMa: so why did you im me?

blowthetoad: ME I.M. YOU?

TheMuIIetMaMa: you got that right

blowthetoad: hahaha i am a smart person! i use hoocked on phonics! u use hooked on pot!

Previous message was not received by TheMuIIetMaMa because of error: User TheMuIIetMaMa is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5939: blowthetoad -> Sparrrow

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blowthetoad: your a hinkle pinkle sloonie poonie!!!

blowthetoad: dummie hunnie

Sparrrow: u betcha

blowthetoad: stop IMing me

Sparrrow: huh?

blowthetoad: you are bothering me very much

blowthetoad: i will report you

Sparrrow: I dont im you

blowthetoad: to the authoroties

Sparrrow: sorry

blowthetoad: why must you do this?

Sparrrow: authorities of my ass maybe

blowthetoad: authorites bet on yo ass, cuz i am gonna mow the grass, very fast, atlast. wow! i can ryme!, look at the time, did you get those clothes for a dime? aaaaw, can’t afoard a lime? i’ll buy you a wind chime

blowthetoad: you piece of slime!

Sparrrow: you should learn to talk like a mime

blowthetoad: mime? i might as well say the word cime!

Sparrrow: the fuck?

blowthetoad: yes

Sparrrow: u are annoying tonite it looks,

blowthetoad: DAH, PHUK, HAHAH, I AM SOFA KING WE TAR DID!

Sparrrow: u got 66% warning

blowthetoad: no crap sherlock

Sparrrow: why?

blowthetoad: because they waste my time

Sparrrow: so what is your purpose of being??

blowthetoad: i just gave a ryme,

blowthetoad: whats your purpose on earth?

Sparrrow: to reproduce

blowthetoad: mine is to unproduce

Sparrrow: do you do drugs?

blowthetoad: no

blowthetoad: that is bad

Sparrrow: drugs are good

blowthetoad: fell through a crack and landed in a pot. then people said, HEY THERES THE REAL DOPE!

Sparrrow: stoners live and

stoners die but

in the end we

all get high

So if at first

you don’t succeed

fuck it all and

smoke some weed.

blowthetoad: YOUR GAY

Sparrrow: nope, Im straight

Sparrrow: who was doin the rhyming first bro?

blowthetoad: ME

Sparrrow: so why am I gay now?

blowthetoad: so shew you annoying flee!

Sparrrow: http://i.am/grundy (*NOTE: blowthetoad: THIS ISN’T A GOOD SITE, IT IS STUPID)

blowthetoad: nice bad website, please no advertizements. thank you

Sparrrow: its spose to be bad

Sparrrow: its spose to just be what the fuck

Sparrrow: no point

blowthetoad: please, keep this clean

blowthetoad: this is public 😉

Sparrrow: say what?

blowthetoad: heh

blowthetoad: check it out later

Sparrrow: check what out later?

blowthetoad: you’ll be actualy be able to sell yourself on the net! (for free)

blowthetoad: haha! your going on my site

blowthetoad: this was planned out

blowthetoad: niener niener niener. you aint got to wiener!

Sparrrow: say wha?

blowthetoad: you heard me foo’!

Sparrrow: where are you from?

blowthetoad: www.noneofyourbuisness.com

blowthetoad: so www.zipit.org

Sparrrow: where is your website?

blowthetoad: not up yet, meanwhile you can lick a salmon.

Sparrrow: this is all great bro!

blowthetoad: yuppers

blowthetoad: well, i have to go bother some other helpless user, later

Sparrrow: cool, take it easy

blowthetoad: bye poo-head

Sparrrow: daeh-oop eyb

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5938: blowthetoad -> JerseyDevils

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blowthetoad: i am a muffin. stupid!

JerseyDevils: yes you are

blowthetoad: hey, stop talking to me

JerseyDevils: no, i wont

blowthetoad: you wanna fight?

JerseyDevils: sure asshole

JerseyDevils: lets go

blowthetoad: bring it, poop head

JerseyDevils: this is probably Liquid Titan huh

blowthetoad: um, i don’t think so

JerseyDevils: then who the hell are you?

blowthetoad: you wanna fight? bring it!

JerseyDevils: where should i bring it?

blowthetoad: inside of yo mama’s toilit

blowthetoad: so lets go, ya blo’ hoe!

JerseyDevils: my momma is sleeping and i cant go in her bathroom

blowthetoad: i would waste you like the aluminum can i trashed!!

JerseyDevils: good thing im not made out of aluminum

blowthetoad: haha, you flushed a toilit

JerseyDevils: no i didnt. I was here the whole time

blowthetoad: i know, you scratched your head, same thing as flushing a toilit!

JerseyDevils: no, actually i just typed a few sentences.You have bad internet sense

blowthetoad: why don’t you go ride a unicycle over yourself while saying BLOW THE TOAD???

JerseyDevils: why dont you make some hot tea and take a nap?

JerseyDevils: silly boy

blowthetoad: you are a corned poop head

JerseyDevils: no, i ate corn but im not a corn poop head

blowthetoad: yup yup

blowthetoad: go run around a light pole and say NesQuik 80 times!

blowthetoad: why do you all the sudden have 3% warning?

blowthetoad: that isnt cool

JerseyDevils: gee, i wonder?

blowthetoad: maybe you should go to the planet larter to get smarter, u stupid person who can’t sppell!

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5937: blowthetoad -> chronic haze

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blowthetoad: i am a muffin named charles

chronic haze: sweeeeet

blowthetoad: no, bitteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

blowthetoad: why did you IM?

chronic haze: i didnt

blowthetoad: i told you we were over with!

blowthetoad: did that telephone call mean anything?

chronic haze: oh im sorry im trippin

chronic haze: not to me

blowthetoad: yeah, you be messin’, mother trucka’!

chronic haze: ph fo sho

blowthetoad: yes, i agree, pooponastick

chronic haze: i hate poop on the stick man

blowthetoad: good, because i said pooponAstick not THE

blowthetoad: pay more attention, chief

chronic haze: its the same fuckin thing man trust me

blowthetoad: no

chronic haze: yes

blowthetoad: nonononono

chronic haze: yes yes yes

blowthetoad: nonono times infiniti!

chronic haze: yes yes yes yes yes times infiniti x2!!!!

blowthetoad: no no no no no no no no no all the way around your butt (wich would take longer that yes infinitix2)

blowthetoad: you have a big butt, george!

chronic haze: ok Francis J. Peterson, i have enough of your silly antics, i file for divorce!

blowthetoad: HOW DEAR YOU!!!!

blowthetoad: what about the kids????

chronic haze: ahh fuck em

blowthetoad: dududududu dum dum! whata bout tha kids? picky picky picky slick slick slick! whata bout tha kids?

blowthetoad: but i can’t i have to BLOW THE TOAD!

chronic haze: beedeedummm dedum pick stick the kids can go to our mothers house

blowthetoad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

blowthetoad: you are so stupid, you alphabeticaly aranged my numbers 44444 and 4!

chronic haze: no

chronic haze: you die now

blowthetoad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *chocking with fear*

chronic haze: die evil toad die, away wwith you into the abyss

blowthetoad: why must you columbusjonstocksonize me????????????

chronic haze: for i can evil toady

blowthetoad: i am not an evil toad, i am BLOW! THE TOAD, and that is what i suggest you do!

chronic haze: you blow the toad

chronic haze: god damn hypicrite

blowthetoad: i am blowing the toad, you skittle fittle!

chronic haze: frittle frattle wiggle wattle TIS ALL THE SAME TO YOU< YOU CRAZY BIRD

blowthetoad: awwwwwwww, so cute…….

blowthetoad: not cute enough you bombazzzled juice packet!

blowthetoad: aka capri sun!

chronic haze: JUICE BOX aka Hi-C

blowthetoad: !!!~JUICY TOOSIE DOOSIE BOX! aka minute maid packet!

chronic haze: MOOSY WOOSY CRAZY BILLY HEAD!

blowthetoad: HICKLE FICKLE NICKLE SUCK A PICKLE JICKLE HIE VICKLE!

blowthetoad: mwuuuuuhahaha!

blowthetoad: (x7)

chronic haze: OK

blowthetoad: u throw in the dollar tree towel?

chronic haze: FIZZNLE NIZZLE GIZZLE BEZZLEBUB I PRAY YOU DIE

blowthetoad: JIGGLE MY GIZZLEZ FE FI NO DIZZLES!

chronic haze: poo on you good sir

blowthetoad: blow the toad, bad wench

chronic haze: and have a good day

blowthetoad: y thank you cody!

chronic haze: youd like to think so

blowthetoad: acctualy…. no i wouldnt

chronic haze: YE SYOU WOULD

chronic haze: SLUTYYY TOAD

blowthetoad: yes u would like to suckle my nipple, you pickle licker for a nickle!

chronic haze: sometimes sir i would

chronic haze: now enough of ths game i must get to my tea party

blowthetoad: better go catch the toad

blowthetoad: remember: mushrooms are GOOD!

blowthetoad: mwuhahaha!

blowthetoad: eat them all!!!!

blowthetoad: mwuhahaha!

chronic haze: yes, and keep safe good sir and stay away from the evil POlice

blowthetoad: stay away from the gay TINKLEWINKIEs!

chronic haze: indeed

blowthetoad: prosiclee

chronic haze: now off with your head

blowthetoad: caree on with your buisness good man

blowthetoad: =-O

chronic haze: cherie-O

blowthetoad: mollie-o from generation O

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5936: davepoobond -> Kaz

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davepoobond: hiiii

Kaz: Hello mr Moron

davepoobond: boo!

davepoobond: moron with two rs

davepoobond: to u

davepoobond: mister

Kaz: Boo? ECUUSE ME?

davepoobond: ::Fart::

davepoobond: notice the capital

Kaz: EXCUSE*

davepoobond: boy that was a stinky one

davepoobond: geez

davepoobond: what the hell

davepoobond: gawd!

davepoobond: help me!

davepoobond: i’m choking!

Kaz: Oh mr big shot with two rrs and capital farts…

Kaz: Hah

Kaz: Ive delt with your kind

davepoobond: ::takes out lysol:: i dont care about my grandkids, it stinks now

Kaz: Your the kind who stops by just for free nachos..

Kaz: But SOMEONE has to pay for them!!!!!!

davepoobond: buenas nachos!

davepoobond: ffffffffffffffffooooooooooood~

Kaz: is good

davepoobond: like toods

Kaz: TURDS

Kaz: GET IT RIGHT!!

davepoobond: noooo!

davepoobond: ::FarT::

davepoobond: ouch!

Kaz: No you cant have two capitals!

Kaz: Thats against the rules!

davepoobond: i can have two fuckin capitals if i want them

Kaz: You… you…

Kaz: YOU RULE BREAKER

davepoobond: oh nooo

davepoobond: please, not that

Kaz: Fine if you get two capitals I get two ToO

davepoobond: NOOOOOO

Kaz: MuahaHahahaaa

davepoobond: only morrons can have them!

Kaz: NoooOOOooooOOOoooOOO

Kaz: (0_0_0)

Kaz: heh heh siamese twins

davepoobond: oh on

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: -_-_-_-_-

davepoobond: 4 people attatched to each other

Kaz: Ouch that must be hard to walk with all them legs…

davepoobond: they only have 2

Kaz: Whoops gtg

davepoobond: shoee!

davepoobond: ok bye

Kaz: Bye bye

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#5935: Kaz -> Awesomeguy

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Kaz: Your so awesome!!!

Awesomeguy: do i know you

Kaz: Howd you get so awesome?

Kaz: Nope I’m just a fan

Awesomeguy: im strong thats how

Awesomeguy: and i can create any thing

Kaz: Really?

Kaz: Create me something

Awesomeguy: like what

Kaz: Umm I dunno, make me a burger

Kaz: With no pickles and no onions

Awesomeguy: i meant as in metals

Kaz: Oh..

Awesomeguy: swords rings amulets

Kaz: So you cant make a burger?

Awesomeguy: no

Awesomeguy: i dont cook

Kaz: Whats the point of making stuff if you cant make a burger?

Awesomeguy: to where and defend your self with

Awesomeguy: wear

Awesomeguy: the sword i just sheathed i made my self

Awesomeguy: its too powerful so few can hold it

Kaz: It be nice if you could make a powerful burger

Kaz: So powerful few could eat it

Awesomeguy: ::gets to work on something::

Kaz: I knew it! You can make a burger!

Awesomeguy: ::finishes work::

Awesomeguy: ::hands him a glowing braclet::

Kaz: Oh nevermind…

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5933: Holmes -> davepoobond

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Holmes: hey

davepoobond: hi

Holmes: thats just plain wrong

davepoobond: what is

Holmes: i type three letters, “hey” and you only type 2 “hi” wtf is that!!!!!

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: hellomporoo

Holmes: good

Holmes: but not god enough for me

Holmes: good*…

davepoobond: well its gonna hafta do

Holmes: them’s fightin words

davepoobond: when i got into my hotmail account

davepoobond: i had 254 junk mails

Holmes: lmao

Holmes: holy shit

davepoobond: thats from 2 days of not checking every hour

davepoobond: every hour i get maybe 50 mails

Holmes: i don’t know whether to laugh or cry

davepoobond: and i got a couple of dictionary submissions from this guy that just copied and pasted everything that was on the submit page

davepoobond: what a loser

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: beef – whats for dinner?

davepoobond: dun dun dun

Holmes: um isn’t that a rhetorical question……

Holmes: if i only knew what rhetorical meant

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: i’m like dead tired, like a zombie

davepoobond: thats my life

Holmes: i feel your pain

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#5932: Holmes -> Sprivenx

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This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Sprivenx Needs Help

Holmes is on a different sn from before he IMd Sprivenx in the previous IM.

—

Holmes: Poopimopi

Sprivenx: whos this>

Holmes: Wanker

Sprivenx: whos this?!

Holmes: I already told you, Wanker

Holmes: I believe you contacted my boss

Sprivenx: whos yer boss?

Holmes: I cannot tell you his name, but his America Online screen name is “Holmes”

Sprivenx: Holmes

Holmes: Exactly

Sprivenx: so?

Holmes: He has called upon his family members to threaten a certain production company

Sprivenx: yea?

Holmes: and in return, he has asked you for a favor

Sprivenx: i know but listen…

Sprivenx: he wnts over $60 in DVDS and im broke! im trying to save up money for myself! and i cant do that for a TV show!

Holmes: I understand

Holmes: Well then, I guess I will not being able to get my “Tom And Huck” film

Holmes: I know a great thing that will help us both out

Sprivenx: waht..?

Holmes: You can talk with our Prime Negotiator and Buisness dealsman and Professional Pimp, Ronny “Bobonny” Feefiefofonny…he’s on right now

Holmes: i’m afraid i must get off, his America Online Screen name is “davepoobond”

Holmes: Talk to him, he will settle it all”

———

he doesn’t, dave trys to IM him, but he doesn’t respond