Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10371: davepoobond -> Holmes

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davepoobond: windows media player’s visualizations are so cool

davepoobond: especially randomization: battery

Holmes: yes

Holmes: you have windows xp?

davepoobond: ya

Holmes: damn you

Holmes: you have better visualzations

davepoobond: hehe

davepoobond: u can dl them

Holmes: yes

Holmes: ut some are for windows XP

Holmes: and some are for the others

davepoobond: o well

davepoobond: i gotta buncha skins for it

davepoobond: they’re kinda ok

davepoobond: all the ones from microsoft’s site

davepoobond: man these visualizations are eye pleasing

Holmes: they probablly have secret messages saying: “buy microsoft”

davepoobond: strangely, i feel like that i should be loyal to microsoft for the rest of my life now

davepoobond: yes, the circling zig zagging line is all knowing

Holmes: hehe

Holmes: must…..buy……microsoft

Holmes: must……buy….windows

Holmes: “in todays news, people are buying an extradonary large amount of new windows for there homes.”

Holmes: Bill Gates: “damnit i should have put MICROSOFT windows!!!!!!!”

davepoobond: yeah…that’s what i’m gonna do, bye

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: hey send me this IM

davepoobond: i dont have the whole thing

Holmes: ok

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10369: Phoenix -> RATM 1087

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Phoenix: I like shoes

RATM 1087: shoes don’t like you

Phoenix: they smell nice

Phoenix: their fluffy too, like bunny wabbits

Phoenix: are you fluffy?

RATM 1087: sometimes

RATM 1087: when i want to be

Phoenix: I don’t think so, only bunnies

RATM 1087: i can act bunny like

RATM 1087: what’s your name

Phoenix: Bunnies are cute too, their fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and cheesy.

RATM 1087: hmm.. i don’t find bunnies to be cheesy

RATM 1087: only if i put cheese on them

RATM 1087: then they are most definitely cheesy

Phoenix: they like too eat hay, hay is their yummy nectar.

RATM 1087: yes

Phoenix: with hair, hair smells nice

RATM 1087: do you know me

Phoenix: I like hair, y’know?

RATM 1087: i see

Phoenix: It has good staying power in the winter

Phoenix: … in time

RATM 1087: yes i agree

RATM 1087: you’re a smart kid

Phoenix: Snow I don’t like

RATM 1087: snow can ocassionally be good

Phoenix: It’s ugly and has a attitudde problem, it’s all hey look at me, I’m white and fluffy and such

RATM 1087: yes

Phoenix: snow is the devils bitch

Phoenix: When it snows out I hide… with the bunnies… and dance

Phoenix: I like bunnies

RATM 1087: bunnies are white and fluffy

RATM 1087: but in a good way

Phoenix: I also like to mix things, like pudding

Phoenix: fizzy pudding, with shampoo

RATM 1087: yeah that’s good

RATM 1087: i like sewing

RATM 1087: i just got finished with some sewing

Phoenix: Head and shoulders shampoo

Phoenix: the fed ex man is taking too long…. its ruining my life

RATM 1087: i see

RATM 1087: what do you plan on having delivered

Phoenix: Like brichu, cause his hand takes so long

Phoenix: coming you tomorrow so

Phoenix: …cuz monkey will have to go with you because Gabe and brichu have Work

RATM 1087: do you know who i am

Phoenix: lemme see if I can get it

Phoenix: says it is not around

RATM 1087: you don’t know me

RATM 1087: i don’t know you

Phoenix: I know zoo

Phoenix: by the way

Phoenix: darlene took house #4

Phoenix: LoL

Phoenix: Lol

RATM 1087: i don’t know who you are

Phoenix: Oh lord, this will be scary. Howed she decorate?

Phoenix: Lovely furniture

Phoenix: LoL

Phoenix: She wants it to be pretty

Phoenix: Jeez…

Phoenix: damn, oh ell

RATM 1087: i don’t know you

Phoenix: Cards I guess ? I dunno ?

Phoenix: But tuesday, bring nothing

Phoenix: get here ASAP

RATM 1087: no

Phoenix: because

RATM 1087: no

RATM 1087: you do’nt know who i am

RATM 1087: you have the wrong person

Phoenix: Yup I made damn sure I was off for … day

RATM 1087: you don’t know me

RATM 1087: shut up

Phoenix: Lol

Phoenix: you know, God is coming to devour our souls this friday

Phoenix: at 8 o clock there will be god fireworks spectacular

RATM 1087: where do you live

RATM 1087: that’s interesting

Phoenix: then at 9 the feast of souls begins

RATM 1087: what school do you go to

Phoenix: Canada LoL

RATM 1087: how’d you get my screen name

Phoenix: Ontario tech is where I went too school

Phoenix: I got your sn cause I’m God

RATM 1087: i see

RATM 1087: did you search for my screen name

Phoenix: You defy me?

RATM 1087: no sir

Phoenix: I will strike you down with feet aplenty

Phoenix: lol

Phoenix: the berkel thirsts for your blood

RATM 1087: i go to a catholic school you offend me

Phoenix: the catholic school is really a tool of the devil

Phoenix: and it;s accually a cult

RATM 1087: you are correct sir

RATM 1087: i’m glad that you can see that as well as i

Phoenix: A happy Happy cult

Phoenix: yup!

Phoenix: do you have a god?

RATM 1087: yes

Phoenix: Have you recieved jesus christ as your personal savior?

RATM 1087: yes

RATM 1087: jesus loves us all

Phoenix: cause if not we can SEND you a piece of jesus via air mail for just 39.98

RATM 1087: haha canadian jesus

Phoenix: My savior is Damien Malachi!

RATM 1087: i see

Phoenix: Humans suck. Humans are the scourge of the earth and should be eraticated. KILL ALL THE SPIDERS TO SAVE THE BUTTERFLIES

RATM 1087: i like butterflies

Phoenix: Well you arn’t one, you spooney bitch.

Phoenix: Humans should do the world a favor and fry themselves, that way they make room for the more evolved creatures

RATM 1087: you’re a sick mother fucker

Phoenix: thank you!

Phoenix: then it turned into a red headed bitch fight

RATM 1087: well i’m leaving

RATM 1087: bywe

Phoenix: the many flames of the relm of damien malachi bless you heartily

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10366: davepoobond -> Izumo Etsuko

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davepoobond: if i flooded out your house, do you think you’d make it out or would you burn up before the water filled your lungs?

Izumo Etsuko: I would probably make it out

davepoobond: >.>

Izumo Etsuko: of there..

Izumo Etsuko: o.o;

Izumo Etsuko: lol

davepoobond: metal mario theme is soooo cool

Izumo Etsuko: Really?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: from mario 64

Izumo Etsuko: damn

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10365: davepoobond -> elmoisfurry

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davepoobond: having fun at ur carnival while ur sitting at home

elmoisfurry: yes

elmoisfurry: we didnt go hehe, but going to a movie sometime hehe

davepoobond: hehe ur gay hehe

elmoisfurry: hehe suck my balls hehe hehe hehe fuck you hehe

davepoobond: hehe eat some haggis in a can hehe

elmoisfurry: hehe thats for special occaisions you stupid fucking wop hehe

elmoisfurry: have fun at marks land of gayness?

davepoobond: i didnt go

elmoisfurry: good job jackass

davepoobond: good job ur ass

elmoisfurry: good job, your mom

davepoobond: yeah give your mom a good job

elmoisfurry: i gave your mom a good job on my break while you were buying the chips

davepoobond: u dissin those chips?

elmoisfurry: yes

davepoobond: ur such a bastard, i sweer

elmoisfurry: i swear your a fuckin wop

davepoobond: wop ur mom

davepoobond: take on me. take meeee onnnnn

davepoobond: I’LL BE GONNNEEE

elmoisfurry: taaaaaake ooooon meeeeee

elmoisfurry: taaake yourrrrr moooooom

davepoobond: is it better to be safe than sorry?

davepoobond: take on meee

davepoobond: take on me!

davepoobond: take me onnnnnnn!

davepoobond: take on me!

davepoobond: i’ll be gonnneee!

davepoobond: CANT TAKE SOMETHING TRUEEEE

–

He signs off.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10358: Tsenn -> davepoobond

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Tsenn: Girl wrestling the schools wrestling captain well if that illegal how abou the hickory nut crunch… ::stompos on his balls and CRACK!!!::
Guy: ::high pitched:: yes thats definitely illegal!!

Tsenn: yeah i was watching beverlyu hiollbillies yesterday XD

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: with jim varney or the tv series

Tsenn: jim varney of course

davepoobond: of course

davepoobond: wow look at that its 7:30

davepoobond [6:30 PM]: hmm…but its 6:30 on my IM…

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10357: davepoobond -> elmoisfurry

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davepoobond: tell me some songs to download

elmoisfurry: bong sniffer by the fuckin cack’s

davepoobond: wat the fak

elmoisfurry: eat mah biznatch!

davepoobond: man crazytown – butterfly has such a good bass

elmoisfurry: man, your mom has such a good…well i wont get into that i guess

davepoobond: what what? what was that?

davepoobond: i’m gonna shoot an apple off ur head next time i see you

davepoobond: you have disgraced the family

elmoisfurry: blah blah

elmoisfurry: quiet johnny appleseed

davepoobond: if i flooded out your house, do you think you’d make it out or would you burn up as the water filled your lungs?

elmoisfurry: if i stomped on you face, would blood or tears fall out?

elmoisfurry: 8 questions down, 79 to go, boo yea grandma bacon!

elmoisfurry: oh yea, that foshee never came on friday, muahaha

davepoobond: ?

davepoobond: she wasn’t supposed to

elmoisfurry: she said she would you ass

davepoobond: no..

elmoisfurry: hey guess what? fo all that 14 question stuff, its supah skanky

elmoisfurry: yes she said so you poop, she said she would go that night, thursday, and friday, but not sat. or sun. cause she had some foshee shite to do

davepoobond: wuteverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

davepoobond: she never said anything of the sort

elmoisfurry: your mommmmmmm

elmoisfurry: yes she did

elmoisfurry: of the sort

davepoobond: ur mom pry said it to u and u got it mixed up

davepoobond: “i’m comin over (to your bed) on friday”

elmoisfurry: non, cause she doesnt look like a fo’d up bleached hair biatch, not anymore i mean

elmoisfurry: “im comin over(your mom) on friday”

davepoobond: well last time i saw ur mom she was a bleached hair biatch…

elmoisfurry: i said not anymore you fogin sloot

davepoobond: ya ya

davepoobond: tell me more swedish stories

elmoisfurry: i will when your old enough you flaming faggot

elmoisfurry: you know what is stupid? the keyboards on laptops, they are so small and stupid and suck shite on a cracker

davepoobond: they feel like crackers too

davepoobond: i mean, i wouldnt even be suprised to see a guy pick up a laptop and try to eat it

elmoisfurry: yea, like sweet ass crackers

davepoobond: i mean, they’re so black and yummy looking

elmoisfurry: i would you crazy funk

davepoobond: ya crackers for the crackas

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10356: davepoobond -> TBomb

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davepoobond: CRACKERS FOR THA CRACKAS!

TBomb: huh

TBomb: i dont get it

TBomb: polly wants a cracker?

davepoobond: you know what crackers are?

davepoobond: yeah that kinda cracker

davepoobond: and the cracka cracker is a white guy

davepoobond: comon, do i have to explain EVERY joke to you

TBomb: o

TBomb: dat was a joke?

TBomb: hahaha..

davepoobond: …..GET WIT IT RAYMO

TBomb: ha ha ha

TBomb: raymo?? HAHAHAHHAA now dat was funny

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: that’s ur gangster name

davepoobond: Raymo Washington

TBomb: HAHAHAHHAHAH!! wat a cool gangter name

TBomb: raymo

TBomb: raymo

TBomb: raymo

davepoobond: yeah, its a god given talent to make gangster names

TBomb: god given talent.. hah, sure it is…..=/

davepoobond: sure it is, give me another name

TBomb: polly

davepoobond: Polezy Eleven

TBomb: po

TBomb: HAHA

TBomb: jack

davepoobond: Jack Off

TBomb: jackorus twelve

TBomb: HAHAHAH

TBomb: HAAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!1

davepoobond: jackorus is good too

davepoobond: Jackorus Off

TBomb: HAHAHA

davepoobond: colin’s gangster name is Bow-Tie H

TBomb: wow. im truly amazed

TBomb: bow-tie………….

TBomb: raymo………

TBomb: polezy

davepoobond: jackorus

TBomb: jack

TBomb: off

davepoobond: Jacoorus

davepoobond: Jakoorus

davepoobond: thats a good name too

TBomb: yep

davepoobond: O:-)

TBomb: did you read teh crucible last yr?

davepoobond: yup

TBomb: did you have to write an essy?

davepoobond: yeah

TBomb: wat was ur topic

davepoobond: always have to write an essay

davepoobond: i dont know…lemme look

davepoobond: hmm i dont have it..

TBomb: haha

TBomb: k

davepoobond: i dont think u do

TBomb: for wat

davepoobond: crucible

TBomb: yah, i hafta write an essay

davepoobond: o well. its pry somewhere, i dont know where i put it

TBomb: pry?

davepoobond: probably

TBomb: dats a good one

TBomb: im gonna use dat

davepoobond: i use it all the time

TBomb: ya, i use prolly, but pry’s shorter

davepoobond: prollys kinda old school

davepoobond: its not really gangsta

TBomb: haha

TBomb: icic

davepoobond: take it from the guy from the suburbs of LA

TBomb: haha