Q: What’s the difference between a dirty diaper and a soldier doing KP?
A: One’s on mess duty, and the other’s just doing duty.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #11125
Q: What do a diaper and a dump truck have in common?
A: During the day they both pick up a load.
Joke #11124
Q: What do you call a western about a dead cowboy who throws rocks?
A: Tombstoned.
Joke #11123
Q: What do you call an earnest, hard-working kid who spends all his time sitting on the couch?
A: An eager Beavis.
Joke # 11122
Q: What do you call a sitcom about a mummified boy-king and a kid who watches rock videos?
A: Beavis and Tut-head.
Joke # 11121
Q: Why didn’t Ozzy Osbourne make it as a zookeeper?
A: He kept eating the bats.
bed
bed – n. a time traveling device in which propagates you to magically “awaken” a few hours into the future.
carrot+ (carrot plus)
carrot+ – n. an ice cream flavor that is made by genetically altering carrots to taste like Oreo cookies, smashing and grinding it up into little pieces for the flavoring.
Joke #11117
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station.
Wrong Number! HAUH!
I had someone just call me right now…
I pick up the phone, and they say something that sounds like a mix between “HA” and “HUH.” Let’s call it HAUH.
So, I say “what?”
and then they say “HAUH” again.
and I’m all “who is this??”
and then he’s all “hauh! oh! wrong number sorry”
I don’t understand why someone would say “HAUH” as their first thing on the telephone when calling someone. They sounded like a retard.
tuaodiarc
tuaodiarc – v. to put envelopes/packages from UPS, FedEx, DHL, and USPS on top of a filing cabinet.
nocreo
nocreo – v. to burn a certain amount of DVDs, put them into DVD cases and put labels on them
insomidup
insomidup – v. to move the same boxes around in a large storage room multiple times in different configurations over the span of eight hours
nefinn
nefinn – v. to build a country on the ocean by linking together boats, and inviting people from all around the world to bring their boats and renounce their citizenship of their particular country and call themselves Citizens of the World Ocean. The new continent built out of boats expands as more and more boats link themselves together. The closer you get to the center of the continent, theoretically, the older it gets.
nadiasottoishot
nadiasottoishot – v. the systematic approach of destroying a community by yourself by purchasing homes/buildings one at a time, taking them apart piece by piece, selling the pieces, and then moving on to the next house with the discrete intention of not building anything on top of it, leaving only remnants of the building that once stood there. Although it is a complete waste of money and time, and would probably be cheaper to buy a nuclear bomb, theoretically, you could destroy a nation’s development if repeated enough times.