“Hey, I had great luck today. I shot three birdies.”
“I didn’t know you were a golfer.”
“I’m not. I’m a hunter.”
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12804
MRS. SMITH: “What is your son doing?”
MRS. JONES: “Andy is in medical school.”
MRS. SMITH: “What is Andy studying?”
MRS. JONES: “Nothing. They’re studying him.”
Joke #12803
BILL: “Wanda isn’t that bad-looking. She does have even teeth.”
WILL: “True! It”s the odd ones that are missing.”
Joke #12802
MILT: “Wow! You are dumb. In fact, you’re the closest thing to an idiot.”
STILT: “Want me to move away from you?”
Joke #12801
Did you hear about the man who’s so dumb, his dog is teaching him how to fetch a stick?
Joke #12800
Did you hear about the basketball player who was so tall, King Kong once tried to climb him?
Joke #12799
I know one fellow who was so scary, on Halloween he didn’t have to buy a mask.
Joke #12798
A wise man once said: “A bright eye indicates curiosity and a black eye indicates too much curiosity.”
Joke #12797
Q: What do you get if you cross a woman with a goat?
A: A lady who’s always butting into other people’s affairs.
Joke #12796
My secretary isn’t an office gossip. She’s a magician. She can turn an eyeful or an earful into a mouthful.
Joke #12795
MADGE: “Carol, tell me more gossip about Mike and Linda.”
CAROL: “I can’t, Madge. I already told you more than I heard myself.”
Joke #12794
You can always recognize a gossip at a beauty parlor. She’s the lady with a face full of mud and an ear full of dirt.
Joke #12793
“I have a magic savings account at the bank.”
“What do you mean?”
“My wife makes money disappear from it.”
Joke #12792
Girls, don’t worry about an individual retirement plan. Marry a rich man.
Joke #12791
Doctor Smith phoned Mike, his mechanic, in the middle of the night and said, “It’s my engine again, Mike. I can’t get it started. That car is one big headache!”
“Well, Doc, take two aspirin and phone me again in the morning.”