Q: How did the loony volleyball player break his neck?
A: After the game he tried to jump over the net to congratulate the losers.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #13085
Q: Why is it hard to keep score when a loony basketball team plays a normal basketball team?
A: Because both teams shoot the ball in the same basket.
Joke #13084
Q: Why did the loony water polo team lose every game?
A: Because their horses couldn’t swim.
Joke #13083
If I were a turtle, the bank would probably repossess my shell.
Joke #13082
With my luck — even if my lawn were made of artificial turf, there’d be real dandelions in it.
Joke #13081
Tell me — is it possible for a bed to have two wrong sides?
Joke #13080
If I lived by my wits, I’d start off bankrupt.
Joke #13079
I live by my wits. I’ll bet you’re amazed that a business can operate in the red.
Joke #13078
I hope that dreams are not secret with fulfillments. All I have are nightmares.
Joke #13077
People always insult my looks. When I go to the zoo, I need two tickets… one to get in and one to get out.
Joke #13076
If I bought one of those toy cows that gives milk, it would probably go dry.
Joke #13075
Talk about double trouble. I’m the only person on my block with gray hair and acne.
Joke #13074
Her cooking is so bad that just to be on the safe side, she only invites dinner guests who have their life insurance paid up.
Joke #13073
MAE: “I get everything backwards.”
RAY: “I can’t believe that.”
MAE: “It’s true. I’ll give you an example. Yesterday I tried to follow a recipe for pineapple upside-down cake and ended up with a pineapple down-side up cake.”
Joke #13072
I’m not that coordinated. I can’t chew gum and drive a car at the same time.