Nothing worries a person who is flying for the first time more than a near-sighted pilot.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #13116
They say taking a plane is safer than taking the train. Ha! When’s the last time anyone hijacked a train to Cuba?
Joke #13115
The last flight I took was so turbulent that the pilot got airsick.
airplane
airplane – n. the only place you can’t walk out on a boring movie.
Joke #13113
They say that flying is as safe as driving. Baloney! If anything goes wrong with your car, you don’t need a parachute to bail out.
Joke #13112
Here’s a safety tip for people taking their first plane ride: Never fly on a plane that has a cross-eyed navigator.
Joke #13111
They say that airplanes are safer than automobiles because there are more car accidents than plane crashes. But how can anyone feel secure about that when airports sell life insurance and gas stations don’t?
Joke #13110
I took an economy model jet that only costs half as much to fly as a DC-9. It’s called a DC 4 1/2.
Joke #13109
I just flew from Florida. And boy are my arms tired!
Joke #13108
Flying is not as safe as driving. If your engine starts to sputter while driving, you just pull over to the curb, get out and check under the hood. What do you do if the engine starts to sputter while flying — the curb is 15,000 feet below!
Joke #13107
The irony of the horse track: How can a horse player believe the odds are in his favor when the betting lines are ten times longer than the lines to collect on winning tickets?
Joke #13106
The coach of the St. Joseph’s High School baseball team, who happened to be a priest, called time out and ran onto the field to have a talk with his pitcher, a boy named Morgan.
The umpire watched patiently while the priest had a lengthy discussion with his younger hurler. Finally, tired of waiting, the umpire stormed over to the coach. “What is this?” he said to the priest angrily. “A conference or the Sermon on the Mound?”
Joke #13105
NOTE TO FISHERMAN: “Doesn’t it seem stupid to clean the fish you catch? After all, fish live all of their lives in water.”
Joke #13104
FOOTBALL COACH: “Krumski, do you know what a pigskin is good for?”
KRUMSKI: “Sure, coach, it keeps the pig’s bones from falling apart.”
armchair quarterback
armchair quarterback – n. a man who spends his entire life telling people what play to run, but couldn’t run a play if his life depended on it.