Q: What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?
A: Names
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #24414
Q: What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle?
A: The polar bear.
Joke #24413
A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess says, “I’m sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion.”
Joke #24412
Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A: Aye Matey.
Joke #24411
I remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
chocotoib
chocotoib – n. a full bath in chocolate in which you also use soap
iraotseupte
iraotseupte – v. to eat a rock after pissing on it and then yell at the moon
Quote #24394
“I don’t want player.
No idea to tell you, you will know when you talk.
I’m no job. Not educate. No money. If you think you can take care of me then you can talk with me. Thank you:)”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Quote #24393
“I really like your profile. I think that we have many common interests. I am good at Ping-pong, cooking fish and yoga.”
– a spam e-mail
Joke #24392
Q: Wanna hear a construction joke?
A: I’m still working on it…
Quote #24311
“If you’re reading this, you might be interested in our friend, Megan. We made this profile in secret to help her find the Right guy.”
– from a girl’s dating profile that isn’t actually hers
molidon
molidon – n. ravioli-stuffed watermelon
Ex. Serving molidon with a side of beans is recommended.
dichodeci
dichodeci – n. a fortune cookie that has two fortunes in it
alpier
alpier – n. an item left inside of a microwave that surprises you by its presence when you open the microwave door.
Ex. That plate was an alpier to me this morning. Where the fuck did it come from?
fornohgot
fornohgot – v. to have known at some point, but forgot it
Ex. I fornohgot that her name was Julia.