Bad Submission #18958

This form was submitted: Feb 26 2005 / 06:49:44

name = kelly AKA kitty kat
bjoke = i waz ova my blondes friends house when i go hey i brought ove sum scatch and sniff stickes wanna c them ……she goes sure .lets take em’ to the pool with us so we can swim to!
so when we get into the pool and she sais my favorite flavor is watermelon …….find a sticker that smells like watermellon !
after i found one she gets excited but i dropped it at the bottom of the pool ….. she goes thats ok , swims to the bottom of the pool and smells it !!!!!!!!!i never heard from her again !

 

Joke #9260: Minister to the Fallen

Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction.

“Quick, man,” he whispered to the waiter, “what did they say?”

“Nothing,” replied the waiter.

“They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.”

 

The Melon Conspiracy

The magical world of Melone. Melone was beautiful place. So green, free from corruption. And so beautiful. From far away, the planet looked like a Honeydew Melon, orbited by a watermelon moon.

The technologically less superior planet of Squashe resented the happiness of Melone. When Melone had all these nice shapen melons, Squashe’s squash was in all messed up shapes, and most looked like huge penises. It wasn’t a very comforting fact to know that you are eating a limp penis. Pumpkins, Squash, Zucchini. The list goes on and on, and no one liked it. People treated Squashe like Squash. They passed it around the table, taking pokes at it and then pass it onto a gullible bastard who would eat the squash. No one liked Squashe. Not even the Squashens.

Squashens absolutely despised the Melonies, and often poked fun at them, even though none of their jokes were even funny. One was: What is the name of a male living on Melone? Melanie!

See? Its-not-funny. Anyway, RoboCop, the leader of Melone, decided enough was enough and RoboCop got all the Melonian armies and whupped Squashe’s ass. Yeah! Alright yessssss! Squashe stinks!!

RoboCop placed Melone’s flag on the highest point of Squashe. And so began the Melonian empire! This is what the flag looked like:

The END

 

camo-cough

camo-cough – n. a phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a watermelon or to alert potential turd burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an astaire <see watermelon, turd burglars, and astaire>