Joke #18657

On a business trip, my father approached a security check point at the airport. The National Guard shift was rotating, and a guard in full uniform was in line in front of him. As with everybody else, the soldier was ordered to go through the metal detector.

Before doing so, he handed his M-16 rifle to the security personnel along with other items such as handcuffs and a flashlight. Still, the alarm sounded when he walked through.

Further inspection revealed a little Swiss army knife inside one of his pockets. “Sorry Sir, but this item is prohibited,” security said to the soldier. Taking the knife away, the airport worker handed him back the M-16.

 

Joke #18566

In the early 1990’s, when I was stationed at Caserma Carlo Ederle in Italy, it was very common to see soldiers riding bicycles back and forth to work. So it came as no big surprise that, after a series of painfully comic accidents, a new policy was announced, saying in summary,

“Soldiers shall no longer salute officers who are engaged in the riding of a bicycle.”

 

Joke #9311: Fresh Popped Colonel

A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters, but lacked a few social graces. One day he called a soldier in to the office and said “Kramer, your grandmother died.”

The soldier fell apart. After he left, the colonel told the lieutenant, “You could have been a little more tactful. I have some books at home that could help you.”

The lieutenant read the half-dozen books lent him by the colonel and was ready for the next crisis. Private Taylor’s grandfather had passed away.

The next morning, at reveille, the lieutenant said, “Men, how many of you have a grandfather still living? Not so fast, Private Taylor!”