Scientists have developed a new camera that can take photographs of the entire world. They tried one, but the picture turned out terrible. Someone moved.
Tag Archives: scientist
Joke #12505
You can’t win. As soon as somebody invented a good five-cent cigar, scientists discovered that smoking causes cancer.
Joke #12464
Scientists are now predicting that Martians will visit the United States in the near future to establish diplomatic relations. Economists are predicting that the Martians will apply for foreign aid and get it.
Joke #12459
Scientists have just invented a new jet liner that can fly around the world in three hours and thirty minutes. The flight itself takes thirty minutes and the plane has to circle the field for three hours before getting clearance to land.
The Vegas Sea Turtle
Once there was a sea turtle and he lived in the desert. He lived in Las Vegas and was a full-time gambler. That was his job. He’d plunk down hundreds of dollars playing Ultimate Poker.
So, anyway, the sea turtle was thirsty and he went to a water fountain. Instead of getting water, he got mugged and shot in the head.
Then a crazy scientist stole his body from the city morgue (fortunately for the assailant, no body = no crime) and cut his body up into 3000 horizontal slices and put him on display in a Vegas exhibit to confuse children while their parents lost their college funds.
Moral of the story: Don’t bring your children to shitty Vegas exhibits they don’t want to be at.
Joke #11327
Q: What did the mad scientist use to mend a broken heart?
A: Masking tape.
Joke #9261: Research and Destroy
At a convention of biological scientists, one prominent researcher remarked to another, “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?”
“Really?” the other researcher replied. “Why did you switch?”
“Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful. Second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won’t do.”
Joke #9123
Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory.
He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language.
He got so tired of the clone’s language that one day he pushed him off the end of a cliff. A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled.
“You are under arrest! You are under arrest!”
“What for?” the mad scientist asked.
And the policemans answer was:
For making an obscene clone fall.
Natural Selection
The values that the experiments created facts that weren’t known, and repeated would just be silly. The scientist could have been stupid and didn’t wash his hands or got other germs into the experiment. The moss. Because it was being tested. The top was always exposed to the sun. They died. The moths evolved to not have the paint on them and his name was Sally. Frogs and dark-colored trees. The ones that weren’t colored like the tree. Yes, because it does. White moth, dark moth. No. They died. Neither. White. Because it makes sense. A lot of the white moths die or get eaten faster.
gwenchk
gwenchk – n. a fart inside a full body suit that scientists use