alimonto – v. to picnic in the same place within thirty days
Katie: Ants are so smart.
Ellen: Why do you say that?
Katie: They always seem to know when we’re having a picnic!
Q: Why does Leatherface in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre kill his victims with a chainsaw?
A: Because Lizzie Borden borrowed his ax for a family picnic.
park ranger – n. someone who hangs out with idols like Yogi Bear, Booboo Bear, Wally Gator, Snagglepuss, Quick Draw McGraw and others, chasing them around, trying to get picnic baskets back
PICNIC – Acronym. acronym for “Problem In Chair Not In Computer.” Means that the problem isn’t actually with a computer, but with the person using the computer.
1. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.
2. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running.
3. He placed bets that Justin would not win the first American Idol.
4. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
5. Seems strangely calm whenever the office system goes down.
6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.
7. Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeez” 95 times during the movie “The Net”.
8. Video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons.
9. When his computer starts up, you hear, “Good Morning, Mr. President”.
10. You hear him murmur, “Let’s see you use that Visa card now, dumbass.”
11. When you ask him to help you with a computer problem, he say’s “Sure, that will be a picnic!” (PICNIC in techy lingo stands for Problem In Chair Not In Computer).
suzaneed – v. to be having a picnic when–an airplane crashes on you!