Squacklecast Episode 19 – “The 18th 15th Anniversary Special Edition”

This entry is part 19 of 37 in the series The Squacklecast

October 18 is Squackle’s Anniversary!!!!!!!!  It is now 15 years old!!!!  Holy shit, does anyone even care???

As a special celebration, special guest and special friend of Squackle.com, Charlie Sheen is with us today for a special Squacklecast!

The following is also talked about:

Halloween and Halloween movies.  We go over Rotten Tomatoes’ list of Halloween movies.

Great Pumpkin

South Park’s newest season.

Black Dynamite was mentioned.

Old Cartoons, like Wacky Races, and other 60’s/70’s-era cartoons, as well as Tom & Jerry.

Tom & Jerry was recently remade, if you weren’t aware, so we started talking about bringing back older cartoons as new series, such as:

The 2011 Thundercats. Masters of the Universe the movie and that newer Masters of the Universe show.

If I could bring back a show for a reboot, it would be Street Sharks.   Make it live action!!  WHY NOT.  Swat Kats would also be cool, wouldn’t it?

Street Sharks

Street Sharks

Or rebooting Reboot.

We also dote upon the history of wiping after pooping.

The Random Wikipedia Article of the day is this thing:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Sindhi_festivals

Also, kids in movies (and life) suck.

I Hate Children

I Hate Children

 

Mauvais sang is one of those movies we watched in film class.

We also review our current Netflix Queues and how we tackle our movie viewing schedules.

Thanks ya’ll!  15 years down the drain.  Here’s to the next 15 years.

 

Joke #18661

As a history buff, I was looking forward to staying in a hotel in Salisbury, England, that dated back to the 13th century.

But when I arrived, the hotel clerk gave me some bad news — my room was in the new section.

Disappointed, I asked when the ‘new’ section had been built.

“In the 1600s,” she replied apologetically.

 

Joke #18530: Message From the Duke of Wellington

MESSAGE FROM THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON TO THE BRITISH FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON

Written from Central Spain, August 1812

Gentlemen, Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and thence by dispatch to our headquarters.

We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty’s Government holds me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.

Unfortunately the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion’s petty cash and there has been a hideous confusion as the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstance, since we are war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall.

This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty’s Government so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue either one with the best of my ability, but I cannot do both:

1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London or perchance…

2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.

Your most obedient servant,
Wellington

 

Joke #9264: Making Book

The Smith family was very proud that their ancestors had come over on the Mayflower, so they hired best-selling author Frank McCourt to look up and write a book about their family history.

Horror of horrors! They discovered that great uncle Fess had died in the electric chair for committing a murder. They were devastated.

They didn’t want that in the book, but they didn’t want to leave him out either.

McCourt said, “Leave it to me.”

When the book came out, the section about Uncle Fess read like this:

“He was a man who occupied a great seat. He was attached to his position very firmly. His death came as a great shock.”

 

Books Never Written

– “Let’s Go to the Moon,” by Hugo First

– “An Everflown River,” by P.A. Little

– “The History of Song,” by Mike Roffone

– “Peanut Butter And Jelly: Noon Time Snacks From Around the World,” by Sam Wich

– “How Do You Spell ‘Kat?'” by Ima Dope

– “Speaking Spanish,” by Mell Amo

– “10 Easy Steps to Denial,” By Itwa Sentme

– “The Adventures of Sure-Locked Homes” – an anti-burglary booklet