Tag Archives: bench

Quote #22377

davepoobond, getting off work, walks toward home.  He hears an owl sound, and Cory is sitting on a bench looking at davepoobond.

davepoobond: “What, are you perched like an owl?  What are you doing?”

Cory:  “I’m waiting for…”

Cory turns around, and we both look in the same direction to the right.

Cory: “…her, actually.”

In the next instant, Monze takes a huge spill and does a somersault off her bike, because she hit the corner of a low wall trying to avoid hitting some girls that were on their phone.

Cory and davepoobond look at each other all weird and think that she might be hurt, but she gets up and seems fine.

It was hilarious because it was almost comically timed.

– at davepoobond’s work location

You Have Bad Luck If…

How can you tell if you’re one of life’s losers?  …You don’t have any luck at all if:

– When you put a coin in the soda machine, you get your soda before the cup drops into place.

– You find a ten-dollar bill and get arrested when you try to spend it because it’s counterfeit.

– You get your big break and make the football team only to trip over the bench and break your leg.

– You start to go bald at the same time you reach puberty.

– The guarantee on your used car expires two hours before the car’s engine does.

Joke #12833

OVERHEARD: “When I was in college, I was on the football team, but the coach didn’t think much of my ability.  I’ll never forget one rough game we played.  Every player on my team got hurt except me.  In the last quarter, with 3 minutes to go, our right tackle got hurt.  I was sitting on the bench all by myself when the coach took a look over at me and said, ‘Kelly, get up and move aside.  I’m sending the bench.'”