These days many gay scientists are studying the phenomenon known as E.S.P. The initials E.S.P. stand for ethnically, stinky, poop. If you have E.S.P. you can predict the future and read people’s peeping toms. You can sometimes see coming events such as a sex crash. Or a lesbian earthquake. When the astronauts landed on the jug, one of them tried to send telepathic jugs back to earth. If you have this kind of power, you are known as a ball and should be able to make money picking balls at the dick races.
My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18 holes.
Using a machete to clear thick brush in an area I was mapping, I came upon a golf club that an irate player must have tossed away. It was in good condition, so I picked it up and continued on.
When I broke out of the brush onto a putting green, two golfers stared at me in awe. I had a machete in one hand, a golf club in the other, and behind me was a clear-cut swath leading out of the woods.
“There,” said one of the golfers, “is a guy who hates to lose his ball!”
Harry teed up, addressed his ball and took a magnificent swing, but something went wrong and he hit a wicked slice. The ball left the fairway he was playing, and went onto the adjoining one where it hit a man full in the face. He dropped like a rock!
Rushing over to the man, Harry and his partner found him unconscious, and with the ball lying between his feet.
“Oh my God!” exclaimed Harry, “What should we do?”
“I’m not sure.” said his partner. “But don’t move him! If we just leave him here he’s an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball from where it lies, or drop it two club lengths away without penalty.”
Q: What would you get if you crossed a ghost with a soccer ball?
A: Field ghouls.
Q: What did the football coach say when the giant dropped the ball?
“yep that is what its there for, a glass, ball, sponge, I don’t even know what else…scissors?”
- Mrs. Stickums
Tagged People: Mrs. Stickums
“Get the 76 balls with a pump handle thing on it”
- from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
Tagged People: davepoobond
“Give me my ball or I’ll take your balls and throw them against the wall”
Tagged People: Nose
“now let’s think in terms of colored balls”
- Dr. OldNBald
Tagged People: Dr. OldNBald