I Had the Shittiest Chipotle Burrito Ever

I had a shitty burrito from Chipotle today.

I can still taste it, its horrible.

That was the worst fucking burrito I’ve had in ages, and the single worst burrito from Chipotle ever. I’m not going to go to Chipotle for two months in protest their shitty burrito-manship.

Now I’m trying to guzzle down some Starbursts so I can finally get this taste out of my mouth.

So, I went to their web site and sent them this in their comment feedback thing:

I had a really bad burrito from the Chipotle in Fullerton today. I had it around 12:30 or so, and the burrito was horribly made, with liquid dripping everywhere — I ended up having to eat it over a trash can. That’s not even the worst part though. The burrito tasted really horrible, and hours later I still have the taste in my mouth. That’s really not good, since I’ve visited that Chipotle on many occasions and they have never tasted like that.

Its disappointing when they make bad burritos just because there’s a ton of people in line. I’m probably not going to be going back anytime soon because I feel it is just that bad, and there are other places I can spend 10 bucks on for food.

Just wanted to say that.

Yuck! Fuck you Chipotle, you’ve been good to me, but then you fucking stab me in the back!

 

I Was Detained Today

This entry is part 2 of 26 in the series The Retail Report

The alarm went off at work today, and the store wasn’t open, it was just the people in the warehouse, where I was working…and at that exact moment the police were coming through the door to see what was happening (they apparently didn’t know we were there), i was getting a drink of water, and its right next to the door.

So the cops see me and they’re like “hold it!”

I look up and i’m like “uhh? whoa!” and one of them had a gun out, too. I was basically alone, and then they’re all like “put your hands up! turn around!”

“Put your hands behind your head!”

They walked up and then held my hands firmly, told me to spread my legs, and then spread them further. They checked me for any weapons, and had me lean forward with my stomach out as they were checking my pants for a couple minutes.

They asked if I had any weapons and I was like “no, I have a cell phone in my left pocket, keys in my right and wallet in the back pocket.”

So while they checked they asked “what are you doing here?”

I said “I’m I’m I’m working.” He asked if there was anyone else, and I said yeah, they’re upstairs in the warehouse.

He asked what we were doing and I said the warehouse was getting books ready to go out on the shelves, and I was doing web orders. After that they put me into custody, put cuffs on me and sat me down on a table that was there.

One of the cops stayed with me until the other went upstairs and saw what was going on.

Someone told me that what the cop asked upstairs was if anyone was supposed to be downstairs and then the manager was all “no” and then the cop asked if he was missing anyone. The manager figured out it was me that was missing and described him to the one that was upstairs, and confirmed it was me downstairs.

In the meantime I told the cop that was with me I was getting a drink of water from the fountain since that’s the only one in the store. They eventually let me out of cuffs and took me upstairs to have the manager confirm it was me. I told him I was just getting some water downstairs.

Turned out another warehouse worker had tripped off the alarm accidentally, and I had just been right where the cops were exactly when they came in through the doors.

Well, that was fun.

 

Why Study Geometry?

This entry is part 2 of 13 in the series Dave's Breakdown

These are ridiculous reasons why you should study geometry according to Carolina Mathmatic in Burlington, North Carolina 27215.

This poster was in Dr. OldNBald’s room, and pisses me off so much, that I had to copy it all and have my responses to each one of them.

There’s a buncha cartoons saying this crap (they were in no really particular order, they’re mixed up all around on the poster):

1. A guy spinning around in a tornado: It helps me track the paths of storms

davepoobond’s response: Well, it looks like you’re keeping track of the storms pretty well already, since you’re getting caught up in them, you stupid bastard. Why don’t you get a life?

2. A skleton: It helps me understand X-Ray diffraction patterns

davepoobond’s response: good job fag. Most people in the world don’t need to know how an X-Ray works. But I guess because you’re a skeleton, its useful to you.

3. A stupid annoying girl: I learned what it means to get my teacher off on a tangent!

davepoobond’s response: by sucking her dick?

4. A kid with a large piece of paper: I heard paper folding activities are fun!

davepoobond’s response: is that all you can think of? Thinking of paper folding activities? WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO DO A PAPER FOLDING ACTIVITY WHEN THEY CAN DO SOMETHING EXTREMELY MORE SENSIBLE? And who the fuck would say “hey, paper folding activities are fun” anyway?

5. 2 aliens in a UFO: We use it for interplanetary travel

davepoobond’s response: you heard it here folks, aliens are confirmed by the government. They screwed themselves up the ass when they issued this poster. Now we KNOW the government is lying to us.

6. A scientist holding up a model of a molecule: I need it to understand bond angles

davepoobond’s response: oh. You do, do you. Don’t we already have something called a computer that can tell you everything about a bond angle already?

7. A city road worker by his green semi truck that says “city roads” on it: I need to know how much salt is in that conical pile for spreading in case it snows tonight. (there’s two big “conical” piles of salt in front of him)

davepoobond’s response: what good will that do you, you stupid fuck? You either have enough or you don’t! Its trial and error. If you don’t have enough, go back and get some more, God dammit! You don’t need to find out how much fucking salt is in a conical pile, just use it.

8. An Eagle: It’s OUTTA SIGHT

davepoobond’s response: what kind of reason is this? You’re gay. Stupid eagle.

9. A $ dollar bill, and the guy on it is saying: New Math Means More Money!

davepoobond’s response: New Math also means More Counterfeiting

10. A painter in front of a castle: I need to estimate how much paint I’ll need for this castle.

davepoobond’s response: IT’S A FUCKING CASTLE! CASTLES DON’T NEED TO BE PAINTED!

11. A black kid: it’ll help me raise my SAT scores

davepoobond’s response: this is one reason I agree with. This is the only sane reason out of all these other reasons. Why can’t they think of more good reasons, so that I don’t have to be angry at people who make stupid shit like this?

12. A fireman putting water on a burning house: how long will the water in the tanker last?

davepoobond’s response: duhhh…I don’t know….maybe that’s why you use the fire tanker’s water until there’s no more water, and then go get some more. There is no math involved in that. There’s probably more math involved in driving to a fire hydrant.

13. A black kid with a light blue baseball cap and a dog: Sparky needed a cool new doghouse (the dog house all made out of triangles and looks like crap. No dog would want to live in it)

davepoobond’s response: Get a life! Just buy your dog a doghouse and call it a done deal. The dog won’t know the goddamn difference

14. A butterfly: So I can appreciate bilateral symmetry

davepoobond’s response: Why do you have to call it bilateral symmetry? Just call it symmetrical sides with one line down the middle. No one gives a shit when you call it bilateral symmetry. And no one really even cares to APPRECIATE something as insignificant as bilateral symmetry. Wow its bilaterally symmetrical. I can sure appreciate that shit.

15. A stupid little girl: It’s AWESOME!

davepoobond’s response: you’re wrong. ITS NOT!

16. A snowman: It helps me appreciate the beauty of nature

davepoobond’s response: how? So you can melt when the sun comes up the next day? Nice job jackass, you thought that through.

17. A girl playing miniature golf: That’s why I’m so good at miniature golf!

davepoobond’s response: That’s why you’re good at sucking cock too, I suppose. You used supplementary angles to know where to put the cock in your mouth. It’s the same principle with golf. Just fucking shoot the goddamn ball into the goddamn hole.

18. A black baseball player with a ball being thrown up in the air: Just keepin’ my options open

davepoobond’s response: to do WHAT? So you can know how to throw a fucking ball? PLEASE…

19. A builder: I’m a builder. I have to read blueprints

davepoobond’s response: and you use geometry HOW, to read a blueprint? Its not that hard…you just read it.

20. A person making a quilt: I like to make quilts

davepoobond’s response: people have made quilts for generations without geometry. I’m sure you can live without it.

21. A submarine, you’re supposed to assume someone is saying: I want to keep my boat out of the mud!

davepoobond’s response: then stay off the ground

22. An Eskimo: I’m designing my own house (holding up a blueprint of an igloo)

davepoobond’s response: YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW GEOMETRY TO BUILD A FUCKING IGLOO! NOR DO YOU NEED A FUCKING BLUEPRINT FOR ONE! ESKIMOS HAVE MADE IGLOOS FOR CENTURIES WITHOUT HAVING TO STUDY GEOMETRY OR MAKE BLUEPRINTS! ARRRGHHH…..!!!

23. An old woman, possibly a plumber: How much pipe will I need to plumb a new bathroom?

davepoobond’s response: well, why don’t you hire a PROFESSIONAL, because you definitely don’t seem to be one.

24. Sherlock Holmes: It’s elementary, my dear Watson. …and Junior high and high school

davepoobond’s response: what the hell? Is that supposed to be funny?

25. A boy filling up water balloons: anybody remember the formula for the volume of a sphere?

davepoobond’s response: yeah I do. Its called fill it up until you think there’s enough water in the balloon, before it breaks open and spills all over yourself.

26. A black woman playing pool: so I can figure out bank shots

davepoobond’s response: You don’t need to know geometry for that. You need to take a pool class for that, and you won’t need to know useless crap you won’t use.

27. A guy at a computer: I’m designing a new CAD-CAM program

davepoobond’s response: I’m sure that there’s plenty of good programming programs that can do that for you. Or better ones that you can never make

28. A black optometrist: I need to understand how a lens bends light

davepoobond’s response: Why? Optometrists prescribe lenses to us, they don’t need to know how light bends. They are not the ones inventing the lenses to give to us. They are the doctors who don’t do much but find out what your vision is and give you the appropriate lenses for you to wear.

29. A cowboy: I’m a cartoon. I don’t have to!

davepoobond’s response: har har….funnnyyyyy…..not.

30. A sphinx in front of a pyramid: I want to know the volume of my pyramid.

davepoobond’s response: So you can sit there for another half a million years saying that you know the volume of your pyramid? “Hey guys, the volume of my pyramid is 4233492080982345809 square tons. Isn’t that super?”

31. A football player: If Herbie can, so can I!

davepoobond’s response: Is Herbie the little car made by VW that used to be a racing champion? So…a car knows geometry then?

32. A white kid with a finger on his mouth: shhh. I’m building a scale model of a stealth fighter

davepoobond’s response: don’t those usually come with instructions, so you don’t have to figure out all the places things go? Which means geometry usage equals 0

33. Kid: I WANT TO TESSELATE! Teacher: Do you have a note from home?

davepoobond’s response: wow. These guy crack me up. This is by far the most annoying out of all these, because this one is a big picture in the middle of the poster. And tessellating isn’t even fun.

34. A farmer with a cow: I need to know how much fertilizer to buy for 211 acres!

davepoobond’s response: you don’t need to buy any, because you have fucking cows.

35. A scientist holding up a ball with antenna coming out of it – supposedly a satellite: I want to use this satellite to map the earth

davepoobond’s response: newsflash! We already did it! HELLOOOOO???

36. A starfish: So I can appreciate radial symmetry

davepoobond’s response: ooooh I’m a starfish and I want to know all about radial symmetry….what the hell?

37. A captain with a world raised in his hand: We’ll be sailing along the great circle route

davepoobond’s response: there is no circle route! And even if there was, there would be no way in hell that you could make an exact circle

38. A person with a map: I need to find my way from point “A” to point “B”

davepoobond’s response: Here’s a clue: follow the map, the roads show you where to go, you don’t need geometry for that! You don’t even need SCHOOL for that

39. A scientist looking in a microscope: whoa!

davepoobond’s response: what? Did you see your penis?

40. A builder: I want to build the most modern buildings! (its just a triangle and its through a circle, just floating in mid air)

davepoobond’s response: oh you do, do you. Well, then build a GOOD building, not crappy buildings no one can use. Those are usually tall and rectangular.

41: Architect: I’m marking off the lots in a new housing development

davepoobond’s response: super. That sure makes me want to study geometry. In the rare instance that I may become an architect and mark off lots in a new housing development, I’ll be glad I took that geometry class

42. A muscle man trying to pull apart a triangle: I want to find out why triangles have such strength!

davepoobond’s response: that’s just the thing: triangles don’t have any more strength than anything else. You’re just weak! And the fucking triangle is made out of metal….

43. A guy with a rake: I have to figure out how many boxwoods to plan around a circular driveway with a 30-foot radius

davepoobond’s response: you need to figure out how to die first

44. A fisherman with a huge ass fish: I studied stream flow and insect hatch patterns and finally caught “Old Gill”

davepoobond’s response: what the hell? NO fisherman in the WORLD does this. And this is more biology/ecology than geometry

45. A head: My English teacher was impressed when I started using words like “conversely” “congruent” and “counter-example”

davepoobond’s response: well, why don’t you conversely get a congruent life so I can counter-example it with my machete. Yeah that was bad.

46. A trapezist: I need to find the area of a trapeez-oid

davepoobond’s response: oh har har har….TRAPAZOID….TRAPEZIST…they’re so much alike…

47. A pilot in a plane: I can’t afford to lose my bearings

davepoobond’s response: you can’t afford to lose your pilot’s liscense either, which you just did. So die.

48. A girl: IT’S EVERYWHERE! IT’S EVERYWHERE!

davepoobond’s response: oh…air is everywhere too. Do I need to study air? No, I just breathe it in and not care about it.

49. A guy: I’m into wheel covers

davepoobond’s response: WHEEL COVERS? You like to cover your wheels? WHAT THE HELL!

50. A general: it helps me get around the pentagon

davepoobond’s response: wow that’s funny. So I guess geometry helps you move your legs, and helps your arm open a door.

51. A white girl on the phone: you can help boys with their homework; and boys can help you with yours!

davepoobond’s response: this is just a hypothesis, depending on if the boys would actually want to help you with your homework. If you don’t study geometry why wouldn’t they help you with your homework anyway? Stooopid

In conclusion, after 51 stupid reasons to study geometry and 51 glorious responses to them that countered the “reason” to study geometry, only 1 out of 51 was actually a good reason. And even for that, who cares after you do take the SAT? no one. Now go study geometry, kiddies. Cause aliens can fly through space with geometry, and people can make their dog’s houses really geometry-like.

 

I Feel Dumb Right Now

more and more i think about it, i get more and more suspicious…

some older African-American guy came by at around 4:30 today saying he was with the “department of homeland security.” So i open the door, and he lets me look at his badge, but for the life of me i can’t remember or even read anything on his badge cause it just happened to be in a very low light, and for some reason i really couldn’t even see it…but as far as i could really tell it looked legit. he also let me look at it for a while before he said anything. it was in a folding wallet, but it seemed like two pieces of paper, not really a metal badge or anything like that. his picture wasn’t on the “badge” either.

he said he was doing a “background check” on a neighbor that is just moving in and he was asking neighbors about her.

i had noticed someone moving in earlier in the day, so i assumed he wasn’t making that part up, at least.

he asked me if i knew her or anything, and i said no, i had just seen her moving in…

so at that point, he was just all like “well okay, if i could just have your name”

so i gave him my name…and he had me spell it out, so i did. and he wrote down my apartment number. he had like a big folder thing where he had scratched down what seemed like other apartment numbers, but i couldn’t really see what he wrote down. he asked me if i could give my phone number, but said i didn’t have to give it to him if i didn’t want to, so i didn’t give it to him.

i didn’t really ask anything about why he was doing the background check, and it didn’t really occur to me that the “Department of Homeland Security” doesn’t really exist to do stuff like that, as far as i know. they are just an administrative body in DC, aren’t they?

ugh…i feel dumb.

 

Dream #9064

I had this dream today in the morning:

I was in a white room with a table, and like 5 other people were my “friends.” and we were like talking/waiting for something. there were windows, but it was just bright light. and the table was right next to a door, and some old ass lady comes out and introduces herself. she looks like a gym class teacher, but really old and haggy. and she like shakes our hands. i was sitting on the table, and i see the friend that was sitting down next to me go to shake her hand with the wrong hand and end up just petting her hand instead. and then i laugh at him for being a retard, but then he just looks at me like “why did you do that, i did that for a reason” and then i notice there’s like two huge rings on the old lady’s hand. and the old lady just keeps smiling.

I guess the only thing that could have been happening was that the 5 of us were there to infiltrate somethin and get somethin and we were just acting a part

 

Dream #9063

The Dreams Tag is a tag that has all the records of any dreams I see fit to actually write down.

I had a dream on November 18…

I was at school and my mom owned a cheap jewelry thing that sold like crappy wooden beaded bracelets and that kinda junk jewelery.

so when i went over there to say bye to her cause i was leaving school, there was a blonde chick there. and she was said she was someone i know’s sister and was asking me why i talked to him all the time. she flew down there to talk to me. she looked like she was like 15 and she had a red rolling backpack with braided hair.

she was like “he’s very emotionally depressed you shouldn’t talk to him it only makes him worse” or something like that and i’m like “uh whatever”

and then i woke up, but i was kinda in that half-dreaming mode so i “continued” my dream and then just started beating her up cause she was annoying

 

Reflection on the 1st Quarter of Regional Studies

Regional Studies is a class that is one semester long. This class was with Mrs. DYKE.

—————————-

The 1st quarter of Regional Studies was a somewhat educational experience though in my opinion, it will not help me in the future because I will probably not ever leave the U.S.

There were something that were fun, like the oil simulation, metaphor thingys and other projects. But they basically sucked, and i dont give a damn about them, cuz they had nothing to do about the real world AT ALL!

So far this is a somewhat STUPID class and i already knew 99% of the things that were mentioned in class, and its really stupid to be learning from resources that are from the early 80s, which still have the Russia as the USSR. STUPID!

 

Justice Files

I was watching the Rosie O’ Donnel show a while ago before it was canceled, for some God forsaken reason that I don’t know.

So she’s talking about some shit, and there’s this voice every once in a while that agrees with her, and it doesn’t look at that guy, just at Rosie, and pretty soon its getting really redundant, then all of a sudden she says “my 3 year old son and I were watching Justice Files, on that cartoon station….Cartoon Network, that’s right, and there was this show called Justice Files, y’know with Superman, Batman, and they go around and fight aliens and stuff. Well, my son turns around and says ‘mom, I like this show.’ And I say ‘yes, son, I like this show too.'” All through her endless babble of not knowing what she was talking about, the guy kept saying “unh hunh” and then Rosie says “Then I got to wondering, WHAT ABOUT ROBIN?” and she leans forward on her desk, toward the guy, and the camera finally switches to this guy sitting at a black piano, with a huge microphone in his face, and it covered half of it, at least, and he’s right up next to it, saying “unh hunh” and says something about that, and then Rosie says, “we’ll be right back after this commercial break.”

What a dumb bitch, first of all its Justice LEAGUE. Justice Files is a Discovery Channel investigative show, which, obviously, she has never seen or heard of, in which detectives and cops tell stories and the Discovery Channel makes recreations and shit like that. Rosie needs to learn how to listen, because it always says “Justice League will be back after these messages.” And she probably doesn’t even know about Justice Friends, which is the same thing but it has Robin ::spins finger around:: whoohoo, and it was made in the 70s, the era in which SHE grew up in. Now, how do I know that and she not know that? What a dumb bitch!

 

3 Things That Make Me Feel Proud, Special, or Unique

1. My imagination

This is the key to writing my stories. Without it I may have never made DBC (David Broadcasting Company).

2. My ability to write stories in script format

I made something called DBC (David Broadcasting Company) with TV shows, movies, sports, radio station, that kind of thing. I have a lot of TV shows for it and I’m also making a story for a web site I help on the internet.

3. My being able to figure out video games and computer games before I read the instructions.

I can figure out the basic commands (sometimes some advanced commands) the first time I put the game into the system. Sometimes I don’t even need the instruction booklet to learn how to play.

Evidence!!!

This would be evidence for 1 and 2. This story is based on Pokémon (a video game) where I turn the tables and when humans usually catch Pokémon the Pokémon catch humans. This is only about a page of the story. I have 10 pages so far:

Note: I took this piece of fine literature out of this article because I’m going to put it up as a separate thing later on. I’ll link it from here when its up. I’ll put it up when I feel that I’m ready to receive the backlash for even writing shit like that in my past.

I can’t really give any evidence for #3. I have no idea how I can give anything for that.

 

Dreams of the Future

This was written as an essay for dave’s 12th grade English class.

I have many dreams of the future for my life. There are different types of success that I would consider successful and some that are not successful for me at all. One thing is for sure though, in 30 years I want to see that I made a difference. I want to make an impact on a greater scale, and not be living life with nothing to look forward to with each passing day.

The main dream I have for my future is to become the head of a huge company that I build with my own hands, with or without help from others. I believe that within 10 years, I will be able to gain enough popularity to branch into different business fields. I will probably gain most of my popularity through my web site, because a lot of people like it, and as I slowly make money off of it, I will have enough money to do more things. I will also use some money I get elsewhere, like my job, to fund my ambitions for future development of my company. I know this is a long shot and it probably won’t happen, but it’s just a dream.

A second dream that I have, is to somehow rule the world, and THEN make a huge company that everyone loves, or will be forced to love. I would obtain the world by enlisting an army of millions and millions of people, that would like to join my cause. And once I had a powerful enough army, I would become the president of the United States, because the millions and millions of people that are in my army would vote for me, and then I would have control of my army and the United States Army, and then I would take over the world accordingly. The company I make would supply most of the world’s food and other necessary items, because I would force all the companies in the world to become apart of my company. I would be a fair and honest ruler, and the world will be passed down through the generations of my family. I know this isn’t going to happen at all though.

If I, in the future, end up doing things that are really important, and I end up not having a life that doesn’t have anything more to look forward to, then I would consider myself successful. I want everyday to be exciting and I want to be happy with the choices I made in my life, and the path that I took.

 

Email to a “Prison Warden”

this was a really fucking long time ago…I thought it was funny when i was doing it, but its just stupid now, but oh well. I have no idea what web site this was anymore…wow there’s a huge crow in my backyard…

————————————

WHAT?? you send us to preeson??? you cannot do that till you find out i m a illegal in de states compandre! MY MOM IS A NURSE! she’ll get a bucncha cocters to sue you and you will die. i’m going to hak you site. stomp humpig you chair! you pig! you goys shuld make da prisons funner! you should give us guns, so that we can kill you and all your stupid guardsa. I’LL PERSONALLY ESTE OOMPA ON U ASS! I’LL GET MEDIEVEL TO! OPEN A CAN OF WHUP ASS! GET A 2 BY 8 AND KILL YOU! YfOuUcK try and and firger tat one out! I WANT TO HAVE KITTIEs! brecuz of yyour stinking finger i cannot have puppies and kitties in my hands at the ship! yyyyyyoooooouuuu arrrreeee nnnooottt cooollll….i demand a trial with a jury i pick out personnally and you will die. dont foget you will die. u should make the prisons more entertainig. put a chair up in my room. also a computer so ic can hak into you mind and screw up what somehow slipped away from bein screwed up. why would u work in a place lick dis? you get paid? i should have your gob. i am much more quallified dan you. i bet your name is nancy. what kind of a name is nancy for a warden of a prison where they hold a bunch of weirdos liek you een. slap slap slap. screamlikeamoron screamlikeamoron screamlikeamoron. bang bang bang. kill kill kill. eat eat eat. bang bang bang. slap slap slap. kill kill kill. sleep sleep sleep. I just discribed your everyday life.!’, yo should die. you our going to love to die. so satart crying you poo poo head. you shouldn’t dance like a hamster near anybody you know. you shouldnt dance a t all actualy poopp….knock knock, who’s there, you, you who? hi, you suck! guess what?>? its trues! i bet you dont wear shoes! are you a direct decendent of a lady named charles sheen and michale chakson? i bet you look like them. thank you good bye. no you cant come over to my house and have noodles. blah blah blah blah. fah-q fah-q. poopy head person. go poop in a sink you toilet brain. you sour punk. i oughtta bash your head in wit my steel guitar i brought from mexico. remember that i will este oompa on you ass one day in your life. watch you ass. hahaahahaha. i bet you’d actually look at it, wouldnt you? well poop on you. if you read it this far, i am amazed that you can read at all. and no, you cannot go on that date with me that i said you could go out with my dog skiwa and do something that i dont want you to behind my dog. you know what you’re gonna do with him. you shouldnt do things to dogs like that. poo poo brain i stick my tongue out to you =P =p

POO POO HEAD!!!!

 

Dave’s First Date

Well my first date started out ok. I drove up to her with my 82 diesel at 12:00, but that’s when Temporary Dad came out with a shotgun. She opened the door and got in in a hurry, but unfortunately the way I was going was uphill, so I was only going 25 mph, cause the car wouldn’t go over that going uphill. So it ended up with me and Temporary Dad getting into a hissy fit about me wanting to have anal sex with his temporary daughter. I told him not to worry, I wasn’t like that. Then he got happy and gave me the kiss on each cheek thing, then he said “have fun”

So we went to McDonalds. I only had 4 bucks, so i got the 39 cent hamburgers and yogurt parfait. Kimmy got the Big Mac meal, but I made her pay for it cause i only had 45 cents left. I offered it to her, but she didn’t want it.

While we were eating, we didn’t talk, and I just looked around. I ended up going into the playplace, playing the Nintendo games and climbing around in the ball room and the tubes until I got kicked out. She was in the bathroom, vomiting, and when she came out she said “lets go some place fun.” In response, I said “what’s more fun then the McDonald’s Playplace?” She gave me a cold stare, and I said, “ok lets go”

I drove over to the park, and there were lots of kids there. I ran over to the swings (there were only two of them) and the other was being used by another kid. I swung for about 10 minutes, and she watched me from a platform. Then I went down the swirly slide 5 more times. It didn’t look like Kimmy was having fun, because she was by my car door, tapping her foot with her arms crossed. By then it was already 5:00, and I could tell that I was either gonna get laid or get a slap in the face.

Well, I got the slap in the face. It’s not my fault she didn’t like to go down slides…

Good news ladies, I’m STILL available! ::wink::

(This is a work of fiction, by the way)

 

Criticism

I got this on Sep. 30, 2002 at about 5:57:04…

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From Farnelbee:

no offense, but your updates SUCK ASS. i’m a long time visitor on squackle. i remember when the updates used to tell you something. maybe about WHAT THE UPDATE WAS. and whats with this fucking poop troop? all my friends think it’s gay that you (davepoobond) screwed the other members out of their jobs. now some jackass poop troop member says something jackasstastic for each update, trying to be funny, BUT IT’S NOT FUCKING FUNNY. ow… i’m getting sore. i’ll be back. i’m gonna start sending more complaints and shit.

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davepoobond’s response:

I understand where you’re coming from, and I thank you for being a “long time visitor” as you put it. I don’t know how long you’ve been coming, but anything over 2 times is good enough for me. I don’t really know what you mean by “explaining,” before, I just said “there’s a new story in the stories section, and there’s a few new pictures, go there and figure out whats new” basically.

The reason behind the poop troops is so that you can know who is a part of the site, and you would see lots of stuff by (its not really the case for most of them), but I’m workin’ on too many things and too many ideas to really focus on the Poop Troops right now.

I don’t know what you mean by “screwing” the other Squackle members out of their jobs, if anything they screwed ME. Most of them have lost interest in Squackle, and haven’t been giving me anything really at all recently. I would love to have them give me stuff on a regular basis, but that’s just not the case with them. Once in a while I get things from stimpyismyname, but that’s it.

What would you like me to do for the updates if you don’t like how it is so much?

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Turns out it was just stimpyismyname.