Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

#10290: davepoobond -> GilbertsGurl

davepoobond: hi

GilbertsGurl: asl

GilbertsGurl: hi

davepoobond: 16/m

davepoobond: how about you/

GilbertsGurl: from where

davepoobond: i dont feel comfterble revealing that information. sorry

GilbertsGurl: give me a clue

GilbertsGurl: ok

davepoobond: ok

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: give me a clue

davepoobond: uhhhhh

davepoobond: no?

GilbertsGurl: pic

davepoobond: why dont you tell me something about yourself first

GilbertsGurl: like what

davepoobond: asl

GilbertsGurl: 13/f/wi

davepoobond: mmmkay

GilbertsGurl: any questions

davepoobond: hows wiyoming/

davepoobond: wyoming

GilbertsGurl: i am live in wisconsin

davepoobond: oooooh

davepoobond: sorry

GilbertsGurl: ok

davepoobond: tom johnson doesnt live in usa

GilbertsGurl: who is that

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: thats me

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: i live in mexico

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: kool

GilbertsGurl: any more questions

davepoobond: u ever been to mexico?

GilbertsGurl: no

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: you should go sometime

davepoobond: if you go to a resort, ask for tom johnson

davepoobond: i’ll get you a good deal

davepoobond: a punta pescadero resort that is

davepoobond: not just any reort

davepoobond: hah

GilbertsGurl: iwho is that person

davepoobond: …erm…. who?

GilbertsGurl: who is tom johnson

davepoobond: me

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: sorry

davepoobond: youre forgiven

GilbertsGurl: hi

davepoobond: …hi

GilbertsGurl: sorry me bad:-(

davepoobond: mmkay

GilbertsGurl: have a girl friend

davepoobond: nope

davepoobond: will you be my girl froiend

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: want my name

davepoobond: sure

GilbertsGurl: Amy

davepoobond: wow

davepoobond: that got me wet

GilbertsGurl: hy

GilbertsGurl: why

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: no reason

GilbertsGurl: sorry me bad

davepoobond: i was messin

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: have a bro

davepoobond: …..?

GilbertsGurl: have a brother yes

davepoobond: do i have one?

davepoobond: yes

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: age

davepoobond: i already told you

davepoobond: oooooh

davepoobond: my brother

davepoobond: 15

GilbertsGurl: name plz

davepoobond: david johnson

GilbertsGurl: hair

GilbertsGurl: is he in the room

davepoobond: yep

GilbertsGurl: does he have any questions

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: he hates girls

davepoobond: hes gay

davepoobond: here he is

GilbertsGurl: so hat

GilbertsGurl: sorry me bad 🙁

GilbertsGurl: so what

davepoobond: hey u stupid girl

davepoobond: this david johnson

GilbertsGurl: i am not stupid boy

davepoobond: ya ur a stupid girl

GilbertsGurl: no boys are stupid

davepoobond: i dont care about that. all i know is that girls are dumb and stupid and i hate them

GilbertsGurl: so i like boys have a boy friend

davepoobond: really.

davepoobond: what’s your boyfriend like

GilbertsGurl: he is not my boyfriend yet

davepoobond: really. interesting.

davepoobond: then what is he

GilbertsGurl: do u have a boyfriend

davepoobond: no, i’m not gay

GilbertsGurl: you are you then

davepoobond: wut are you talking about

GilbertsGurl: who am i talking to

davepoobond: david johnson

GilbertsGurl: your brother said u are

davepoobond: said i was

davepoobond: what

GilbertsGurl: gay

davepoobond: …

davepoobond: i’m not

davepoobond: he is

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: sorry

GilbertsGurl: pic

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i have one of your mom though

davepoobond: <^>

GilbertsGurl: no way

davepoobond: yes way

davepoobond: that was it

davepoobond: <^>

GilbertsGurl: wired

davepoobond: yes i am wired

GilbertsGurl: ok

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: i think its time that you go

davepoobond: like sign off

davepoobond: so…….do so

GilbertsGurl: no way david what color is your hair and eyes

davepoobond: blue, and white

GilbertsGurl: hair color

davepoobond: blue

davepoobond: eye color = white

GilbertsGurl: nice kool

GilbertsGurl: in school

davepoobond: no. i dropped out in the 4th grade

davepoobond: i taught myself, while doing drugs, by watching barney

davepoobond: and PBS television

davepoobond: then came BBC

davepoobond: because i moved to Britain

davepoobond: and then BBC France

davepoobond: BBC Malaysia

davepoobond: BBC America

davepoobond: BBC Canada

davepoobond: that damn BBC is all over the place aint it

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: no

davepoobond: ok yes

GilbertsGurl: nice life

GilbertsGurl: have a girlfriend david

davepoobond: of course

davepoobond: her name is Ashley and she has huge tits

davepoobond: bigger than my head

davepoobond: but of course i’ve got a massive dong to keep her happy

GilbertsGurl: ok

davepoobond: its like 8===========================================================> this big

GilbertsGurl: put tom on plz

davepoobond: ok. NO

davepoobond: tom is humping the mattress

GilbertsGurl: lol

GilbertsGurl: i g2g ok tom and david

davepoobond: tom aint here

davepoobond: i told u he’s in bed

davepoobond: humping the living crap outta it

GilbertsGurl: ok

GilbertsGurl: i g2g

davepoobond: k bye

davepoobond: leave already

GilbertsGurl: talk later

davepoobond: ooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkk

GilbertsGurl: ok bye bye

#10289: davepoobond -> FigNewtonCK

davepoobond: hey

FigNewtonCK: hey

FigNewtonCK: who are you?

davepoobond: a whore

davepoobond: who are you

FigNewtonCK: same

davepoobond: ohh so you’re a whore too

FigNewtonCK: where you from “whore”

davepoobond: i dont understand the question

FigNewtonCK: where do you live

davepoobond: uhh what?

davepoobond: hold on, lemme stop snorting crack

davepoobond: ok, what was the question again

FigNewtonCK: pull that dick out of your ass while your at it

FigNewtonCK: where you from

davepoobond: uhh…………i still can’t register it

davepoobond: let me take the needle out of my arm

davepoobond: ok now i know what you’re saying

davepoobond: yes, i do like to swim

FigNewtonCK: wow thats nice

davepoobond: i like to fart

davepoobond: cuz i get anal a lot

FigNewtonCK: hey are you a guy or girl

davepoobond: guy

FigNewtonCK: cuz i’m really fuckin horny right now and if your a guy i’m really in the mood so stop your fucking crack shit

davepoobond: right ok bye

FigNewtonCK: bye baby

FigNewtonCK: cant handle me bitch

FigNewtonCK: haha

davepoobond: sure i can

davepoobond: wanna screw me

FigNewtonCK: i have high standards

davepoobond: what, 2 dollar whores?

FigNewtonCK: how old are you

davepoobond: 24

FigNewtonCK: 87… right i’m blonde

davepoobond: left i am too

FigNewtonCK: well i gotta better people to talk to

FigNewtonCK: later

#10288: Boppie -> davepoobond

Boppie: hey

davepoobond: hi’

Boppie: hi

Boppie: ok

Boppie: cool

davepoobond: yeah it is

Boppie: ok

Boppie: cool

Boppie: good

Boppie: brb

davepoobond: welcome back

Boppie: i back

Boppie: ok

davepoobond: ok

Boppie: ok

davepoobond: ok

Boppie: ok

Boppie: ok

Boppie: cool

Boppie: good

Boppie: =-O

davepoobond: great

Boppie: ok

Boppie: haah

davepoobond: hey that was funny

davepoobond: almost as funny as your mom

davepoobond: AHAHAHA

Boppie: ok

Boppie: cool

davepoobond: yeah yeah sure sure

Boppie: ok

Boppie: good

davepoobond: yes very good

#10284: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: h

stimpyismyname: i

stimpyismyname: d

stimpyismyname: a

stimpyismyname: v

stimpyismyname: e

stimpyismyname: .

stimpyismyname: h

stimpyismyname:   i

stimpyismyname:

stimpyismyname:      a

stimpyismyname:       v

stimpyismyname:         e

stimpyismyname: aah

stimpyismyname: the d didnt make it

stimpyismyname: sorry

davepoobond: hi..

stimpyismyname: floooow river flow

stimpyismyname: :-!

stimpyismyname: by

#10282: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: OW

davepoobond: wut

stimpyismyname: dont stand too close to the squirrel, billy, you’ll catch its stupid!

stimpyismyname: yep

davepoobond: lol

stimpyismyname: get ninjawalk

stimpyismyname: its FUUUUN

davepoobond: yer MOMs fun

stimpyismyname: nope

stimpyismyname: urs is more fun

stimpyismyname: i have a really funny song

stimpyismyname: its funny

stimpyismyname: hooo boy is it funny

davepoobond: ur moms funny

stimpyismyname: so is ur dad

davepoobond: and so is urs

davepoobond: and ur grandmas

davepoobond: if they all got into a fight, you’d lose

stimpyismyname: and ur great grandma

davepoobond: HEY

davepoobond: DONT TALK ABOUT MY GREAT GRANDMA LIKE THAT

stimpyismyname: she was so fiiine

davepoobond: yeah i bet you tapped her dead as over and over, ya dumbass

stimpyismyname: but her pubic hair started at her belly button

davepoobond: oh my god

stimpyismyname: i got used to it

davepoobond: yeah, i bet it tasted good, didnt it

stimpyismyname: not really

stimpyismyname: tased like a hairbrush

stimpyismyname: a dirty one

stimpyismyname: that someone rolled in shit

stimpyismyname: i only did it to piss you off

davepoobond: good

davepoobond: cuz it didnt

davepoobond: so you did my dead great grandma for nuttin

davepoobond: AHAHAH

stimpyismyname: uhhhh

stimpyismyname: no

davepoobond: unless u enjoyed it of course

stimpyismyname: at least it pissed off your great granad

stimpyismyname: grandfather

davepoobond: i dont even know what he looks like

stimpyismyname: he looked PISSED

stimpyismyname: hah

stimpyismyname: nyah

stimpyismyname: nyah nayh

stimpyismyname: i g2g soon

stimpyismyname: so make a comeback

stimpyismyname: or somethin

davepoobond: ….YOUR MOM

stimpyismyname: good one

stimpyismyname: bye

davepoobond: yer moms a good one

#10281: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: want me to burn you some comp games

davepoobond: what games r u willin to burn for me

stimpyismyname: what do you want

davepoobond: what you got

stimpyismyname: u know what i got

davepoobond: not all

davepoobond: mechwarrior…

davepoobond: age of empires

davepoobond: yer flying games

davepoobond: half life and junk

davepoobond: i wont go online with it

davepoobond: b bak later

stimpyismyname: i’ll burn u ghost recon

stimpyismyname: thats iut

stimpyismyname: hahahahaha

davepoobond: wtf

davepoobond: that game is crap

davepoobond: …right

davepoobond: b bak later….

stimpyismyname: haaaaave fun

Auto response from davepoobond: my ass is on fire, i’m trying to put it out
by blowing on it…but how can you blow at your ass?

stimpyismyname: by being a gay homo like you

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: bak

davepoobond: i got a new phone

davepoobond: its better than yoursss

stimpyismyname: woo

davepoobond: smaller, lighter

stimpyismyname: …sell?

davepoobond: and i can put stuff on it

stimpyismyname: cell

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: there’s no antenna

stimpyismyname: o…k

davepoobond: =P

stimpyismyname: thats great

davepoobond: ya it is

stimpyismyname: nokia?

davepoobond: of course

stimpyismyname: uh huh

#10280: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: yeeehaw i’m gettin aolpress again

Holmes: YEAH!

Holmes: AWESOME!

davepoobond: o hell ya

Holmes: whats AOL Press?

davepoobond: its an HTML editor

Holmes: oh yeah

davepoobond: that’s what i use for squackle

Holmes: i remeber that

davepoobond: i saw The Glass House last week

davepoobond: that movie was pretty gay

Holmes: was it good?

Holmes: nevermind

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: it’s a suspense movie?

davepoobond: yeah

Holmes: with michelle pfiefer

Holmes: ?

davepoobond: the girl isnt really that hot. i mean…shes ok…but you know that she’s a dork kinda, and that’s a turn off

davepoobond: i dont know if that was her

davepoobond: its a kinda dumb movie

Holmes: “lets go to the computer lab so we can have the genetic makeup of this ghost”

davepoobond: ….heh

davepoobond: nothing like that was in it

Holmes: heh

Holmes: lmao

Holmes: i checked on amazon.com

Holmes: the price dropped like ]: lol

davepoobond: cuz its so stupid

davepoobond: it made nothing in the box office

Holmes: 21.95 X

davepoobond: and they advertized the hell out of that

Holmes: 19.99

Holmes: 17.96

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: its not even worth that much

davepoobond: its like a ]: heh

davepoobond: used it is then!

Holmes: “We have an overstock of used Glass House DVD’s…please, we will not buy anymore up”

davepoobond: better reserve my copy

davepoobond: lolll

Holmes: lmao

Holmes: that’ll be a $20 fee

Holmes: oh shit you reminded me to reserve GTA Vice City

davepoobond: can you reserve that yet

Holmes: did you ever see Joy Ride?

davepoobond: nope

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: good movie

Holmes: watch it

davepoobond: k

davepoobond: i’ll get gtavc after it comes out

davepoobond: thats gonna be such a kick ass game

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: i have to beat gta bleh

Holmes: actually i didnt really like the respect meters

Holmes: well not so much the respect METERS, but at least allow you to get the fuckin mafia off your ass

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: but thats what makes the game more difficult

davepoobond: as the game goes on, more people try to kill you

Holmes: yeah but at least let the army in the tanks shoot the gun

Holmes: and add a 7th star: Marines!

davepoobond: heh, they come in on helicopters

davepoobond: they’re like firin at you as they come down off of black hawks

Holmes: oh yeah and 8th Star: Rainbow Six secret anti-terrorist group

davepoobond: 9th: James Bond

davepoobond: 10th: teletubbies

Holmes: oh man

davepoobond: “I GOT THE TELETUBBIES ON MY ASS! HELP!”

Holmes: thats going way to fire

davepoobond: “IT HURTS SO MUCH”

Holmes: “Hehe we want to hug you and fill you with love!”

Holmes: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Holmes: 11th: Vanilla Ice

Holmes: “Ice Ice baby! Oh yeah! Going down!”

Holmes: “can’t stop this! go ice go! oh yeah!”

davepoobond: 12th: tmnt

davepoobond: 1]: 1]: O.O

Holmes: 15: pepsi girl

davepoobond: 16: benny hill

davepoobond: 17: michael jackson

Holmes: 18: lucky charms leprechaun

davepoobond: there’s gonna be like stars going around the whole screen

Holmes: lmao

Holmes: *******************************************************

Holmes: last anf final star: All of the above and…gasp!…Bill Gates!

Holmes: if you kill him you get all his money and you beat the game’

Holmes: oh yeah! they should have Co-Op and Counter-Op play in GTAVC

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: do you know if you can spray a helicopter with the fire hose

Holmes: i doubt it

davepoobond: i mean if you actually could

davepoobond: cuz..i think i can

Holmes: OH I’d be Mr. Frosty! The Ice Cream truck man!

Holmes: cooooool

davepoobond: near your home in shoreside vale

Holmes: yeah it’d be cool

davepoobond: if you burn a lotta people

davepoobond: or get a fire truck to come there

davepoobond: and then get ]: and if the helicopter is off the cliff

Holmes: does it blow up?

davepoobond: i dont know

davepoobond: i didnt do it

Holmes: or it just keeps shooting at you

davepoobond: i flew off the cliff b]: oh

Holmes: man learn how to fly the dodo it’s so phat

Holmes: phat…smack me if i ever use that word again

Holmes: anyways

Holmes: it’s really cool

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: but i wanna try and beat the game first

Holmes: it’s hard

Holmes: but it’s fun

Holmes: my cousin comes over EVERY day to play GTA: “um…can i play your playstation?”

Holmes: “NO!”

Holmes: “mommy!”

Holmes: “fine play it…”

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: i bought the damn thing and he;s always playin my game on GTA and the taxi missions

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: tell him to get crazy taxi

davepoobond: no shooting involved >.>

davepoobond: and..you…cant run over people

Holmes: i had crazy taxi….i had to hide it everytime he came over

davepoobond: crazy taxi is kinda boring now though isnt it

Holmes: yeah bastards jump out of the way

Holmes: why can’t they just stand still?

Holmes: yeah…i sold it

Holmes: 20 bucks

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: are you supposed to get Microsoft Front Page with Windows XP?

Holmes: i don’t think so

davepoobond: bleh

Holmes: microsoft is tooo cheap to pull shit like that

davepoobond: they should make it apart of office

Holmes: oh my fuckin god

Holmes: that is sick

davepoobond: what

Holmes: this couple made there adopted daughter drink so much water that her brain swelled and she died

davepoobond: wtf

Holmes: that is so mean

davepoobond: well i guess that tells me what happens when i drink too much water

Holmes: well yeah you get whats called a water high when you drown your cells and you get a euphoric feeling

Holmes: but they even went past that

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: thats also why some people die on exctasy from drinking to much or not enough water

davepoobond: lol “Bang Bus”

Holmes: lmao

davepoobond: stupid banner ad

Holmes: “the magical school bus just got a whole lot more magical”

davepoobond: LOL

davepoobond: is flash MX the best flash thing right now

Holmes: newest but not really the best…i’m confused at it

davepoobond: would you reccommend i get that one

Holmes: isn’t this ironic

davepoobond: what

Holmes: a popup window appeared with this message: “Tired of those annoying popup windows? Try a free trial of our program called NoPops!”

davepoobond: haha

Holmes: maybe

Holmes: might as well try

davepoobond: its 1.5 hours

davepoobond: 2 hours

Holmes: wow

Holmes: heh

davepoobond: is dreamweaver an ftp client too

Holmes: i don’t think so..check it on macromedia.com

davepoobond: oh they made dreamweaver too?

Holmes: O.O

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: THEY MADE DREAMWEAVER MX!

davepoobond: macromedia makes a lotta good stuff…

davepoobond: really

Holmes: and i’m stuck with 8 pff lol

davepoobond: get it get it get it

#10279: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: hey

stimpyismyname: DAVID

davepoobond: hey

davepoobond: MARCUS

stimpyismyname: by the way…

davepoobond: wut

stimpyismyname: mark isnt short for marcus

stimpyismyname: dumbass

davepoobond: sure it is

stimpyismyname: aint that a kick in the head

davepoobond: yeah, in your MOMs head

stimpyismyname: in ur dicks head

davepoobond: in ur mom’s mom’s BALLS head

stimpyismyname: in ur goozaks head

davepoobond: thats too far

davepoobond: someones gonna have to get hurt for that

stimpyismyname: ur stroking it right now i bet

davepoobond: yes i am

davepoobond: its so nice and purply

stimpyismyname: feel nice?

davepoobond: squishy

stimpyismyname: mmmhm

stimpyismyname: choicobo reggae mix

stimpyismyname: chocobo

stimpyismyname: ha

stimpyismyname: yes

#10278: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: HI DAVE

davepoobond: ritz bitz sandwiches

stimpyismyname: mini chips ahoy

davepoobond: screw you

stimpyismyname: with BIG chocolate chips

davepoobond: nooooo

stimpyismyname: mmmhmmm

stimpyismyname: AH-YEP

stimpyismyname: .

Auto response from davepoobond: takin a crap!

stimpyismyname: ooook

davepoobond: ha

Auto response from stimpyismyname: pow!