Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

#10540: LilBabyJess -> davepoobond

LilBabyJess: yea

davepoobond: yeah what

LilBabyJess: this is joe mama

davepoobond: that’s coollll

LilBabyJess: whos this

davepoobond: joseph mama

LilBabyJess: yea u wish

davepoobond: ok fine, its really dave

LilBabyJess: dave who

davepoobond: poobond

LilBabyJess: yea ok

davepoobond: so whats happenin joeyyy

LilBabyJess: no thing

LilBabyJess: do u have a pic

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: do you

LilBabyJess: no

davepoobond: so, how’s the kids?

LilBabyJess: wat kids?

davepoobond: that’s sad

LilBabyJess: wat

davepoobond: you have kids, and you dont even acknowledge their existence

davepoobond: anyway

davepoobond: why are you warned to 16%

LilBabyJess: I dont kno cuz some fagget

davepoobond: whats his sn

davepoobond: i’ll get him back for you

LilBabyJess: I dont kno his sn

#10537: NewJerzGurl -> davepoobond

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series The NewJerzGurl Debacle

A long while later after #10536, NewJerzGurl IMs me again on a different screen name. I forgot all about what happened beforehand.

NewJerzGurl: someone loves you or likes you they will try to do anything for you and help you in anyway if you send this to 11 people something good will happen to you at 9:43 tonight

davepoobond: what if i dont

davepoobond: and who are you

davepoobond: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NewJerzGurl: is this dave?

davepoobond: yeah…

NewJerzGurl: ok

NewJerzGurl: 6this is courtney

NewJerzGurl: why dont you talk to me anymore?

davepoobond: ………………………

davepoobond: courtney?

NewJerzGurl: yea

davepoobond: i dont know any courtneys…

NewJerzGurl: wateva then

NewJerzGurl: bye

davepoobond: where do i know you from

NewJerzGurl: NEWJERZGURL

davepoobond: ehhhhh nope doesnt ring a bell

NewJerzGurl: is this yingyangman?

davepoobond: no

NewJerzGurl: who is it?

davepoobond: dave…

davepoobond: poobond…

davepoobond: i live in california..

NewJerzGurl: oh

NewJerzGurl: do you know who yingyangman is?

davepoobond: no

NewJerzGurl: oh

davepoobond: or i might not remember him

NewJerzGurl: how did you get my other screen name? newjerzgurl

davepoobond: oh wait…

davepoobond: i do know him now

davepoobond: i remember

davepoobond: har har har

NewJerzGurl: OK…

NewJerzGurl: IS HE ON?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: he blocked me

NewJerzGurl: oh

NewJerzGurl: y?

davepoobond: cause he’s a stupid bastard

NewJerzGurl: lol

NewJerzGurl: ok

NewJerzGurl: someone loves you or likes you they will try to do anything for you and help you in anyway if you send this to 11 people something good will happen to you at 9:43 tonight

NewJerzGurl signed off at 6:39:31 PM.

#10536: davepoobond -> NewJerzGurl / davepoobond -> yingyangman

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series The NewJerzGurl Debacle

These two IMs went on at the same time pretty much, and interacted with each other, so I put it as much as I can that occurred at the same time…just use your imagination.

davepoobond: Baby C!!!

NewJerzGurl: ??

davepoobond: hi

NewJerzGurl: dave??

davepoobond: yeah!

NewJerzGurl: iight

NewJerzGurl: dass u???

NewJerzGurl: yingyangman?

davepoobond: course its me

NewJerzGurl: HEY!!!!!!!

davepoobond: HI!!!!

NewJerzGurl: where you been?!

NewJerzGurl: my birthday was 2 weeks ago!

davepoobond: sorry i missed it

NewJerzGurl: itds ok

davepoobond: i had family stuff this last 2 weeks

davepoobond: a few deaths in the family

NewJerzGurl: yea?

NewJerzGurl: are you ok?

davepoobond: y’know, saddening stuff

davepoobond: yeah i’ll be fine

davepoobond: so how’s your family? still alive i assume

NewJerzGurl: yea

NewJerzGurl: they are pretty good i guess

davepoobond: trust me, they’ll die soon enough, just like all my family members

Auto response from NewJerzGurl: dancing brb

davepoobond: granny…great granny

davepoobond: grandpa

Meanwhile…

davepoobond: hey dave

yingyangman: hey

davepoobond: how’s it going man

yingyangman: its going alright..u?

davepoobond: same same

yingyangman: thats good

davepoobond: i hear you had a lotta deaths in the family the last 2 weeks

davepoobond: and you didn’t go to some girl’s birthday 2 weeks ago

davepoobond: what’s happening with you man

yingyangman: no one in my family has died

davepoobond: yeah just keep denying that

davepoobond: what about that girl’s birthday party

davepoobond: everyone but you was there

Back to her…

NewJerzGurl: hey

NewJerzGurl: dont jynx ma!

NewJerzGurl: me*

davepoobond: what are you talking about

NewJerzGurl: talkin bout they are gonna die soong

NewJerzGurl: soon*

NewJerzGurl: thats not nice

davepoobond: i’m sorry

davepoobond: but they are

NewJerzGurl: pok

NewJerzGurl: ok*

Meanwhile…

yingyangman: what girl?

davepoobond: NewJerzGurl

davepoobond: that girl

yingyangman: i wasnt even invited

davepoobond: WELL

davepoobond: NewJerzGurl: my birthday was 2 weeks ago! that bastard didn’t come!

davepoobond: seems like you were

yingyangman: i can guarantee i wasnt invited..and just when did she invite me

davepoobond: i dont know, why don’t you talk to her and copy and paste what she says to me?

davepoobond: i’ll tell you whats a lie and whats not

davepoobond: are you talkin to her

yingyangman: yes

davepoobond: whats she sayin

yingyangman signed off at 1:48:10 PM.

Back to her…

NewJerzGurl: are you two playing games with me?

davepoobond: what are you talkin about

NewJerzGurl: nothing

davepoobond: hmm

davepoobond: well

NewJerzGurl: is this dave? or not?

davepoobond: it is

NewJerzGurl: ok then… why you playing on the other screen name?

davepoobond: i’m not doing anything

NewJerzGurl: watever

NewJerzGurl: nothing…

NewJerzGurl: aint this dace?

NewJerzGurl: dave*

davepoobond: it is

NewJerzGurl: he was like who is davepoobond? and all this junk… thats you right?

davepoobond: why do you keep asking

davepoobond: yeah

NewJerzGurl: you’re one both names?

davepoobond: what are you talkin about? i dont have 2 names

NewJerzGurl: yingyangman

davepoobond: eh?

davepoobond: oh yeah that’s me

NewJerzGurl: you;re slow

NewJerzGurl: bye

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: wait

davepoobond: what

davepoobond: nooooo

davepoobond: :'(

#10535: davepoobond -> lozerkid

davepoobond: hey loser

lozerkid: whos this?

davepoobond: Joe mama

lozerkid: for real!?!?!

lozerkid: who is this…

davepoobond: i told you

davepoobond: do you need me to type it again

lozerkid: who?

lozerkid: no…just tell the truth…

davepoobond: dave

davepoobond: fine

lozerkid: do you know me?

davepoobond: no

lozerkid: so how did you get my sn?

davepoobond: but i know your a loser

lozerkid: its from blink 182

davepoobond: i searched for “loser” in buddy find and you came up

lozerkid: haha…..thats great…..have you ever heard of “blink182 loserkids?”

lozerkid: wots your asl?

lozerkid: ?????

davepoobond: 17/m/ca

davepoobond: u

lozerkid: 16/f/va

davepoobond: ba?

lozerkid: virgina

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: your font is really weird

lozerkid: yeah

lozerkid: sorry….

lozerkid: do you want me to change it fer ya?

davepoobond: its ok

lozerkid: ok….

lozerkid: so what kind of music do you like?

davepoobond: mostly rock

lozerkid: cool

lozerkid: do you play any sports?

davepoobond: no

lozerkid: o

davepoobond: do you?

lozerkid: yeah

lozerkid: soccer….

lozerkid: so wots up with you sn?

lozerkid: i gtg

davepoobond: not much, its what i’m known as on my sie

davepoobond: site

davepoobond: k bye

davepoobond: www.squackle.com

davepoobond: that’s it

lozerkid: haha

lozerkid: later

davepoobond: k bye

#10533: davepoobond -> Bandaid Brand24

davepoobond IMd Bandaid Brand24 something that was in a SUM41 song, and like 4 minutes later…

Bandaid Brand24: bicth

davepoobond: what?

Bandaid Brand24: who r u?

davepoobond: who are YOU?

davepoobond: you just IM me outta the blue

Bandaid Brand24: why did you Im me?

davepoobond: i didnt IM you

davepoobond: what did i say

Bandaid Brand24: you IMed me out of the blue

davepoobond: yeah right

davepoobond: i dont believe you

Bandaid Brand24: i dont know i delted it.. but it was something stupid

Bandaid Brand24: omg.. your so fucking stupid

davepoobond: sure sure

Bandaid Brand24: what grwade r u in?

davepoobond: what grade are YOU in

davepoobond: you cant even SPELL grade

Bandaid Brand24: 9

davepoobond: aha stupid freshmen

Bandaid Brand24: its cuz i type fast

davepoobond: ooooooh so fast

davepoobond: go for accuracy

Bandaid Brand24: what grade are you in?

davepoobond: people can race fast and drive into walls

davepoobond: 11

davepoobond: big shot

Bandaid Brand24: so.. you want me to take offense to the fact that ur aolder than me?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i never said that

Bandaid Brand24: just becuz your in 11 grade and im in 9th?

davepoobond: when did i say that

Bandaid Brand24: im a stipid freshmen?

davepoobond: cause you are

Bandaid Brand24: davepoobond (10:29:58 PM): aha stupid freshmen

Bandaid Brand24: how do you know?

davepoobond: urrmm…

Bandaid Brand24: do you know who i am?

davepoobond: how do i know what

davepoobond: sure i guess

Bandaid Brand24: im a stuopid freshmen?

davepoobond: i can learn enough just because of what you’re saying write now

davepoobond: you cant even SPELL stupid

Bandaid Brand24: you dont know a damn thing about me

davepoobond: yabb yabb yabb

Bandaid Brand24: i cant spell?

Bandaid Brand24: check this…davepoobond (10:31:43 PM): i can learn enough just because of what you’re saying write now

Bandaid Brand24: look how you spelled right

Bandaid Brand24: dumbass

davepoobond: i wasn’t trying to spell “right”

davepoobond: i was trying to spell “write”

Bandaid Brand24: i dont care…your stupid

davepoobond: you’re stupid

davepoobond: with an e

davepoobond: your stupid is possessive

davepoobond: i have no stupid

davepoobond: where is my stupid?

davepoobond: y’like sum 41

Bandaid Brand24: so.. basically…i am a stupid freshemn becuz i am younger than you(which i have no control over) and you dont know a damnt hign about me???.. that what YOU’RE saying?

davepoobond: you and me baby aint nothin but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel

Bandaid Brand24: YOU’RE sucha a fucking queer

Bandaid Brand24: such a *

davepoobond: you dont even know that song

Bandaid Brand24: thats right.. i have no idea what song that is

davepoobond: i was listening to that song when you were in…1…2…3….6th grade!

davepoobond: so was everyone else

davepoobond: get it

davepoobond: its good

davepoobond: Bloodhound Gang – Bad Touch

Bandaid Brand24: ok?

Bandaid Brand24: congratulations

davepoobond: glad you agree

davepoobond: no one likes it anymore

davepoobond: thats why its a good song

Bandaid Brand24: YOU’RE fucking gay.. don’t talk to me..i have better things to do with my time

davepoobond: no you dont

davepoobond: like what

davepoobond: tell me one thing

Bandaid Brand24: anything that doesnt involve talking to you

davepoobond: ok, how about this

davepoobond: going to www.squackle.com

Bandaid Brand24: something that doesn’t involve talking to you..is a better use of my time

Bandaid Brand24: or.. how about no?

davepoobond: aw comon

davepoobond: its worth it

Bandaid Brand24: no its not

Bandaid Brand24: shtu the fuck up

Bandaid Brand24: what school you go to?

davepoobond: what would that matter

davepoobond: what state do you live in

Bandaid Brand24: you go to Greenwood?

davepoobond: no

Bandaid Brand24: Indiana

davepoobond: i live in california, buddy

Bandaid Brand24: how the hell was i suppoed to know

davepoobond: you werent

Bandaid Brand24: so dont call me buddy

davepoobond: i’m sorry

davepoobond: but you ARE on my buddy list

davepoobond: so that makes you a buddy

davepoobond: doesn’t it?

Bandaid Brand24: not if i dontk now you, and dont want to

davepoobond: comon you don’t even know me

davepoobond: didn’t you say that yourself

Bandaid Brand24: and i intend to kepp it that way

davepoobond: “you dont know me blah blah blah whie whine whine whine”

davepoobond: oooh snappy comeback

Bandaid Brand24: i did say it.. and i dont want to know anything about you

davepoobond: i like movies

davepoobond: and slumber parties

Bandaid Brand24: i will admit.. that was pretty damn snappy

Bandaid Brand24: and tell me why i give a shit?

davepoobond: cause i saw the michael jackson interview thing yesterday

davepoobond: the whole 2 hours

davepoobond: did you see that?

davepoobond: or is he too old for you

Bandaid Brand24: congrats

Bandaid Brand24: once again.. starting off with the young jokes… you realize that has no affect on me becuz i cant control how old i am

davepoobond: no, that’s kind of in the general aspect

davepoobond: cause michael jackson might be too old for some people to care about him at all

davepoobond: regardless of age

davepoobond: oh look at that, i used regardless

Bandaid Brand24: please note the sarcasm when i say…

davepoobond: aren’t you suprised

Bandaid Brand24: o yeh.. i dont know who he is

davepoobond: hi

Previous message was not received by bAnDaId BrAnD24 because of error (7:41:14 PM): User bAnDaId BrAnD24 is not available.

#10532: davepoobond -> Dick L590

davepoobond: jeremy? is this you?

Dick L590: Who R YOU???

davepoobond: what are YOU talking about

Dick L590: How did you get on my computer???

davepoobond: ….

davepoobond: look at me i’m dancing on your computer

davepoobond: whooooooo

Dick L590: :-* This is my picture

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: but i didnt want to see it

#10531: davepoobond -> FireChiefGram

davepoobond: chief, where have you been? our reservation lands have been taken over by the white folk!

FireChiefGram: who is this

davepoobond: I’m the witch doctor

davepoobond: of our tribe

davepoobond: don’t you remember?

davepoobond: i’m communication to you through telekensis

davepoobond: it just happens to come out on AOL instant messenger

FireChiefGram: wrong chief i am a fire fighter chief

davepoobond: darn

FireChiefGram: take the name firechiefgram

I get warned to 35%.

davepoobond: ok, why are you warning me?

I warn him back to 10%.

Goddamn fire chiefs.

#10529: davepoobond -> ADICT

davepoobond: fly away on my zephyr, we’re gonna live
foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

ADICT: lol are you for real

davepoobond: why of course i am

ADICT: well ok then

ADICT: who might you be?

davepoobond: dave

davepoobond: and you

ADICT: oh my fairy god mother

ADICT: lol

ADICT: JIll

davepoobond: yeah i’m your fairy godmother, that’s why i have a big wang and a sack

ADICT: ok ok

ADICT: where ya from dave?

davepoobond: hell

ADICT: oh yeah me too

ADICT: lol

ADICT: O:-)

davepoobond: 😀

ADICT: are we done now?

davepoobond: depends

davepoobond: are you gonna buy me a stairway to heaven?

ADICT: lol

ADICT: are you led?

ADICT: aep?

ADICT: zep?

davepoobond: not really. i dont like it that much in hell

davepoobond: i wanna see how it is in heaven for a change

ADICT: well that makes 2 of us

ADICT: let me guess

ADICT: your about 23

davepoobond: mmhmm…go on…i like where this is going

ADICT: how old tiger

davepoobond: i’m not an old tiger..

ADICT: i didn’t say old tiger

davepoobond: yeah you did

ADICT: i said how old tiger?

davepoobond: “old tiger”

ADICT: scroll up

davepoobond: dont need to

davepoobond: its in the same window

davepoobond: until

davepoobond: right about

davepoobond: almost there

davepoobond: almosssttt

davepoobond: ok now its off

ADICT: lol

davepoobond: video killed the radio star

davepoobond: did you know that

ADICT: yeah

#10525: davepoobond -> Edmonem

davepoobond: hey

Edmonem: who diz

davepoobond: you dont remember me

davepoobond: again

davepoobond: you forgot me 4 times already

davepoobond: don’t you remember forgetting me?

Edmonem: hmm .. no

davepoobond: urgghhh!!!

Edmonem: well .. i hit my head 5 times on some sharp stuff a few months ago

davepoobond: oh…

davepoobond: k

Edmonem: and i dint even noe

Edmonem: until my friend told me

Edmonem: xP

Edmonem: haha

Edmonem: yeh

davepoobond: ah ha yeah

davepoobond: that’s always a pain

davepoobond: when you knock your head against sharp objects

davepoobond: and not even know you are

davepoobond: until someone tells you

Edmonem: haha

Edmonem: yehh

Edmonem: i fainted 5 times

Edmonem: at the mall

Edmonem: -_-*

Edmonem: everyojne was looking

Edmonem: and i had no idea wuh was goin on

davepoobond: prices too high at the 99 cent store?

Edmonem: ?/

davepoobond: is that the reason you fainted

davepoobond: cause the prices are too high

Edmonem: i dont get it

Edmonem: haha

davepoobond: never mind

Edmonem: sorry im kinda retarded in the head

davepoobond: you didnt used to

davepoobond: =(

Edmonem: wanna see mah pics ?

Edmonem: i got new ones

Edmonem: =)

davepoobond: ok sure

Edmonem: umm

Edmonem: go to

Edmonem: www.essenceX.com

Edmonem: n then

Edmonem: my user name thing

Edmonem: is

Edmonem: mizzetard

davepoobond: nice pictures

Edmonem: ty

davepoobond: so how’s the kids

davepoobond: whoa! they made Jungle Book 2!

davepoobond: isn’t that amazing

davepoobond: now we can find out what happens to mogley

davepoobond: even though we don’t care

davepoobond: ISNT THAT SPECTACULAR

Edmonem: lol

Edmonem: i guess ?

davepoobond: did you see that commercial with that naked guy running around on the soccer field

Edmonem: yes

davepoobond: it was funny the first time, but the other 1293 times i’ve seen it, it gets kinda long

Edmonem: haha’

Edmonem: icic