Joke #5310

One day there was a blonde driving down the road and was listening to the radio.

The person on the radio kept telling blonde joke after blonde joke so she turned off the radio.

A little while later she sees a blonde in a cornfield in a rowboat so she pulls over gets out and yells “Its blondes like you that give us a bad name, if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass.”

 

Joke #5308

A redhead went to a doctor and said “Doctor, doctor, help me everywhere I touch hurts!”

Then the doctor says, “What do you mean it hurts everywhere?”

The redhead said look she took one finger and poked her stomach and started crying and showed the doctor, taking the same finger and poked her leg, starting to cry and saying it was hurting really bad.

Then the doctor says, “Ma’am you’re not really a redhead, are you? Are you a blonde?”

The lady says “How did you know doctor?” The doctor replies, “Your finger is broken.”

 

Joke #5307

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.  Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, the WalMart manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

 

Joke #5306

A blonde named Haley decided to put together a puzzle, so she sat down and took the pieces out of the box.

She sat there for an hour before she asked her husband for help “Can you help me put the puzzle together, its supposed to be a tiger.”

He came over and looked down at the puzzle, then up at his wife and said, “Honey, put the Frosted Flakes back into the box.”

 

Joke #5302

There were three woman stuck on an island, a blonde, redhead, and a brunette.

They find a magic lamp and get 1 wish each from the genie inside.

The redhead wishes to be back home with her family.

The brunette wishes to be richer and off the island (which is actualy two wishes, but the genie grants them anyway).

And the blonde says “Well, I’m kind of lonely. I wish my friends were back!”

 

Joke #5301

A blonde walks into an appliance store, looks around, points and tells the shopkeeper, “Sir, I’d like the TV on the 3rd shelf.”

The shopkeeper looks at her, and says , “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t serve blondes. Please leave.”

The blonde was very angry, so she went home, dyed her hair brown , and returned the next day. She asked the shopkeeper, “How much is the tv on the 3rd shelf?”

The shopkeeper looked at her, sighed, and said, “Look ma’am, we don’t serve blondes! Please leave.”

By this time, the girl was infuriated. So she went home, shaved her head, and came back the next day. She asked the shopkeeper about the TV, and he told her, “Ma’am. I’ve told you. We don’t serve blondes, so you’ll have to leave.”

The blonde, in a rage, demanded, “How could you tell I am a blonde???”

The shopkeeper looked at her, shook his head, and said, “Because that’s not a TV… It’s a microwave.”

 

Joke #5298

I swear to God this is a true story…

I went to the mall with my cousin, and we were walking to his car when we passed 2 blondes. They were trying to open their car with a hanger. My cousin asked one of the girls if she needed any help, and she replied, “Yes, and will you hurry up, because the top is down and it looks like it’s gonna rain soon.”

P.S. My cousin is blonde too, maybe that’s why he offered to help…