#5876: D-Fiance -> Swift Rider

D-Fiance: I eat chicken

Swift Rider: tastes good dont it

Swift Rider: and you are?

D-Fiance: uh huh

D-Fiance: I am me and you are you and we like to eat chickens from the zoo

Swift Rider: nah man the chickens from the zoo be all nasty dawg…they dont ahve no seasoning or anything. you need the chicken from KFC, or churches or some shit

Swift Rider: or from leroys down on the street corner

D-Fiance: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?!?!?!

D-Fiance: STALKER!!!

Swift Rider: your the ninja….you tell me

D-Fiance: hmmmm, you at me window?

D-Fiance: AHHHH!!!! oh wait, just a tree

D-Fiance: you dont know where I live, and you dont know chicken from doo doo

Swift Rider: tsk tsk tsk….a tru ninja would have to ask these qustions. they are the masters of thier enviroment and know this type of stuff

D-Fiance: those are magik ninjaz!!

D-Fiance: you stinky foot

Swift Rider: ayyiyo who is this?

Swift Rider: do i even know you

D-Fiance: YOU TELL ME!!! you wierdo, you IMed me!!

D-Fiance: you better know me

Swift Rider: LOOKY HEAH!!!! YOU BE THE ONE THAT IMed ME TALKING ABOUT YOU EAT CHICKEN. SO YOU ARE THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO KNOW SOMEBODY

D-Fiance: Hmmmmm you got a point there

D-Fiance: WAIT, YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE!

D-Fiance: STALKER!!!

Swift Rider: do we we have evidence to support such a statement

D-Fiance: no, but we we have a mutual agreement

Swift Rider: that would require me knowing the the person behind the screenname. and seeing how i dont know this person we have no mutal agreement as to the fact that i know where you live, thus i am not a stalker

D-Fiance: a stalker is a stalker does, PLLLLL

D-Fiance: I had a second half uncle that was a stalker

D-Fiance: you know a Louie… Louie winnabego?

Swift Rider: nope

D-Fiance: would you bet your life on it?

Swift Rider: hmmmm…..well not to someone who i dont know hell no. and not even to someone i do know.

D-Fiance: GOD DAMNIT!!! THATS A RETORICAL QUESTION YOU DONT ANSWER IT!!!

Swift Rider: you do to piss people off

Swift Rider: i see it worked

D-Fiance: hmmm

D-Fiance: I can run fast

Swift Rider: do you even know my name?

D-Fiance: Yep

Swift Rider: what is it then/

D-Fiance: mike

Swift Rider: you wanna try again there dawg

D-Fiance: Ted

Swift Rider: uh uh

D-Fiance: really?

D-Fiance: oh I know, Ralph

Swift Rider: you IMed some dude you dont even know?

Swift Rider: talking about you like chicken

D-Fiance: I said Evan, didn you hear me Zack?

D-Fiance: Larry, I meant to say Kevin

D-Fiance: wait, I know your name!!!

D-Fiance: Don!!!

Swift Rider: ::sighs:: who is thie really?

Swift Rider: this*

D-Fiance: You dont remember me Sean?

D-Fiance: Chris, you should know

Swift Rider: sean might remember you, chris migh recall who you are but swift rder dont have a clue you are

D-Fiance: …… Oooh Oooh your name is Swift

Swift Rider: whateva man

D-Fiance: I eat chicken

Swift Rider: me too…..ayyiyo, im just want to be sure..do i truly know you?

D-Fiance: Do you know Jesus?

Swift Rider: yeah hes a pretty cool man

D-Fiance: Then you know me!

Swift Rider: funny, i dont remember jesus having access to the internet

D-Fiance: Exactly!!! and that is why I am here talking to you now!!

Swift Rider: about chicken?

D-Fiance: Whos said chicken?

D-Fiance: I heard chicken!!

D-Fiance: WHERE?!?!?!

Swift Rider: ayyiyo hold on brb

D-Fiance: Hello?

D-Fiance: HELLO?

D-Fiance: WHERE ARE YOU, WHY DO YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS?!?!?!

D-Fiance: fine bye… I guess you dont love me anymore

D-Fiance: it could have been fun

D-Fiance: we could have had good times

D-Fiance: long nights

D-Fiance: great days

D-Fiance: but I guess thats just a dream now…..

D-Fiance: bye my only wonder

 

#5875: Cystum -> Para

Cystum: hello

Para: Hello

Cystum: male female?

Para: Female

Cystum: whats up tonight?

Para: Um, I would guess something is…or you wouldn’t have contacted me

Cystum: im just floatin around im bored……

Para: Ah, well…join the conversation.

Cystum: there is no convo.

Para: Well, sort of.

Cystum: do you have a picture to trade me?

Cystum: will you bite me?

Para: o.O

Para: Ah you know my past do you?

Para: Well, I can’t help biting…

Para: And if you accidently die..

Para: I can’t be held accountable.

Cystum: (. Y .) its ok……. V”””’v 000

Para: What in gawd’s name is that?

Cystum: do you like beeing food for the imortals?

Para: Not in the least…

Para: Are you asking me to be a blood doll?

Cystum: vmmmv

Cystum: mmmm

Cystum: feed from me

Para: Oh…well, that *would* be a good idea had I been a vampire..

Cystum: im jus fukin wit ya

Para: Sure…

Cystum: its wierd the vampire murders are on now

Para: Oh?

Cystum: what r u doing in a room like this?

Para: Mmm…well, being a cyborg does give one an adavantage with vampires..

Para: And the liquid symbiote in my blood stream makes me…

Para: Disgusting to taste of…

Para: So, I figure I am safe here

Para: advantage*

Cystum: yes you might me

Cystum: you might not……

Para: That and I am not a simple kill..

Cystum: whats your favorite scary movie?

Para: Baby Geniuses..

Cystum: touche…

Para: That is the only movie I had to actually leave in the middle of.

Cystum: i wouldnt even see it

Para: It was at the dollar theatre…I was bored…

Para: Heck, when you have seen just about every movie…

Para: You aren’t too picky after awhile.

Cystum: i have

Cystum: name one ill quote it..

Para: Mmm…

Para: Event Horizon.

Cystum: why that one?

Cystum: thats not a quoteable

Para: “Save yourself from hell”

Para: How about…

Para: House on Haunted Hill

Cystum: QUOTEABLES GOOD MOVIES

Para: Oh, well, you could have said that.

Para: Final Destination.

Cystum: “YOU GUYS COULD DROP DEAD:

Para: *splat*

Cystum: YEP

Para: Mmm…

Para: How about…

Para: Blade

Cystum: DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE TO TYRADE ME?

Para: Possibly…

Para: Why would I want to though?

Cystum: I DO TOO

Cystum: I DONT KNOW……

Cystum: PLEASE?

Para: What would be the point?

Cystum: SO WEE COULD TRADE?

Cystum: DO YOU WANT TO?

Para: Fine, send away

Cystum: OK

Cystum: SENT

Cystum: SENT TE REAL ONE

Para: The real one?

Para: That fills me with confidence

Cystum: DID YOU SEE THE FIRST ONE?

Cystum: IT WAS A JOKE LOOK AT IT

Para: Did you just send me something disgusting…

Cystum: YES IM SORRY

Para: I got halfway through the download and canceled it.

Cystum: GOOD IT WAS EEEEEEEEW

Para: Then why did you send it to me?

Cystum: I WAS JUST JOKING….

Para: Uh huh…

Cystum: THE NEXT ONE WAS THE REAL ONE

Para: Sure..

Cystum: R U GONNA SEND ME?

Para: Not after that nasty pic.

Cystum: I WAS JUST SEEING IF YOUR PAYING ATTENTION

Cystum: HELLO?

Para: Yeah?

Cystum: so whats up?

Para: Nothing much, yourself?

Cystum: nutin

Cystum: r u gonna send yours?

Para: Okay…um…you sent me a naked picture.

Para: I don’t have one of those.

Cystum: its ok

Para: I don’t feel bad about that.

Cystum: about what?

Para: Not having a nude pic

Cystum: oh, neither do i

Cystum: hellooooo?

Para: Helloooo on back.

Cystum: r u sending?

Para: Told you…I don’t have any nude and/or weird pics.

Cystum: so can i see a pic of you?

Para: Umm..

Para: Sure..

Cystum: ok

Para: Http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/Ash/Gaurdian.jpg

Cystum: whats that?

Para: the URL

Para: Oops..

Para: Guess that was the wrong URL.

Para: Hold up

Para: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/Ash/images/Gaurdian.jpg

Para: Okay…

Para: there ya go.

Cystum: gaurdian, or guardian

Para: Gaurdian

Para: I just checked that URL

Para: It works.

Cystum: whatever it doesnt work and i dont wanna play games

Para: I am serious!

Para: Eh, fine.

Cystum: it doesnt work

Para: did you C&P it?

Para: It is case sensitve

Cystum: ?????

Para: Means that all the things that were capital..

Para: Have to stay that way or it won’t work.

Cystum: ok type it again

Para: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/Ash/images/Gaurdian.jpg

Cystum: HTTP 500 Internal server error

Para: Well, the fact that you have a COMMA in the URL instead of a PERIOD!

Para: May have done it.

Para: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/Ash/images/Gaurdian.jpg

Para: Just click the frickin link!

Cystum: Angelfire page not found

Cystum: ok thats better

Cystum: you are very attractive

Para: Thank you.

Cystum: no thank you

Cystum: what r u?

Para: Human.

Cystum: smart ( l )

Para: Better than being a dumb one, I guess.

Cystum: ok snappy

Para: Uh…yeah…

Cystum: i wanna show you something but you will hate me

Para: ::sighs:: what is it?

Cystum: nuttin….

Para: I don’t exactly feel up to par…so if you could stop trying to be coy…I would appreciate it.

Cystum: forget it

Para: No..go ahead.

Cystum: your not interested want me to leave you alone or sumtin?

Para: Interested in what, may I ask?

Cystum: chatting

Para: No, I am okay.

Para: What did you want to show me?

Cystum: nuttin

Para: -.-

Para: I hate that.

Para: Just tell me.

Cystum: sumtin you could sink your teeth into

Cystum: but you are not an outgoing person i could tell

Para: Do you mean that in a sexual way?

Cystum: you dont like that sort of thing

Para: What? Ripping people appart with my teeth?

Para: Hell, it sounds like fun…where do I sign up?

Cystum: no getting turned on by people looking at your assets

Para: Well, my stock in MicroSoft and Napster isn’t doing too well..

Para: So, I don’t know about that.

Cystum: well i dont know what to tell you

Para: Yeah, I never said I was good with investing..

Para: Curse the 9.95 I spent on that videotape..

Para: They are wrong, you can’t learn to ‘trade with the best of them’ in one week

Cystum: whats up?

Para: I wish, my stock.

Cystum: how old r u?

Para: I am alive..

Para: I seem to be funtioning correctly..

Para: I would assume I have past birth…

Cystum: HOW OLD R U NOW???

Para: Would you like it in the scheme of things….

Para: Of for pities sake..

Para: I am 17

Para: Close to 18

Cystum: Why do you act like that?

Para: Act like what?

Para: I am a grizzled 80 year old woman?

Cystum: wierd

Para: Just call me an old soul.

Cystum: just relax

Para: This is me relaxed, child.

Para: I told you I didn’t feel up to par though

Cystum: could you just talk to me normal

Para: I will…if you take off your caps.

Cystum: i dont have caps on…..

Para: Oh..

Para: Well…silly me.

Cystum: yes silly you

Para: Thanks..

Para: You are wonderful for the ID aren’t you?

Para: Id*

Cystum: id* ???

Para: uh yeah…

Para: You know of the word?

Cystum: i think im gonna leave…………..

Para: Sorry about that.

Para: When I feel like my esophagus wants to climb its way out of my mouth..

Para: I get testy.

Para: It’s nothing personal.

Cystum: you keep losing me

Para: I feel nauseated.

Para: I think I am gonna hurl

Cystum: stick sumtin in your mouth

Para: That is what I mean.

Para: …

Para: Uh, yeah…

Cystum: uh,yeah

Para: Puts a new spin on projectile vomiting…

Cystum: i could make you gag

Para: You want me to throw up on you?

Para: How…

Para: interesting.

Cystum: no just gag

Para: Okay, you know of the gag reflex…correct?

Cystum: no…

Para: Well, that is what causes you to gag when something is stuck down your throat..

Para: Consequently…some people throw up when tha tis engaged

Para: that is**

Cystum: that is?

Para: I typoed..

Para: I was just correcting it.

Cystum: when what is engaged?

Para: Your gag reflex

Cystum: mine?

Para: Oh heavens…forget it.

Cystum: im fucking with you Cystum: your gag reflex

Para: Okay, maybe you doing that isn’t the best idea..

Para: You are just making me think that you are extremely stupid.

Cystum: duh no imstupid not

Para: Yes, that is endearing…

Cystum: i like deers……..

Para: You’re kidding..

Para: You have got to be kidding…

Cystum: dduuuuuuuh

Para: If not…seek help

Para: Do you do this often?

Cystum: what?

Para: Pretend to be a complete slack-jawed moron?

Cystum: yes that sounds like me

Para: Well, as long as your nights are full.

Para: Have fun.

Cystum: i am

Para: As for me…I grow weary…

Para: I think I shall call it a night.

Cystum: but it has just begun

Para: Joy..

Para: Well, just slap a to be continued sticker on it

Cystum: i cannot do that

Para: Well…

Cystum: i must finish tonight

Para: Well..

Para: You can always play with yourself…

Para: G’day

Cystum: wanna see?

Para: Not really

Cystum: heheheheh

Cystum: g’night have a wonderful sleep

Cystum: may passion fill your dreams

Para: Thanks…

Para: You too..

Cystum: and may your dreams be filled with passion

Para: Don’t hurt yourself now

Cystum: OUCH!!!!!!!!!!

(I have to admit, that was so stupid it hurt…) (Just goes to show you, don’t ever write anything that you don’t want read back to you later)

 

#5873: CRAZY PSYCHOPATH -> Celo

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: celo celo celo

Celo: cute

Celo: real cute

Celo: you are about as mature as three year old

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: yay… im mature 4 my age

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: im THIS MANY

Celo: 0?

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: mmmhmmmm

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: how did u know?

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: ur so smart!

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: can i be ur frend?

Celo: no

Celo: please don\’t even try

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: pleeessseee?

Celo: no, go home

Celo: DON\

 

#5872: lVlajinGohan -> bigmcd

lVlajinGohan: hey

lVlajinGohan: so ur sarah

lVlajinGohan: u got a pic?

lVlajinGohan: asl?

bigmcd: FUCK U

bigmcd: U CUNT

lVlajinGohan: ???

lVlajinGohan: why

bigmcd: MY NAME IS RYAN

bigmcd: U DORK

bigmcd: WOW U PPL R STUPID

bigmcd: SARAH IS NOT ME

bigmcd: AND IM NOT A PORNSTAR

lVlajinGohan: then why the hell did you say ur sarah

lVlajinGohan: your such a dick

bigmcd: AT LEAST I HAV E ONE

lVlajinGohan: you loney guy trying to jackoff to lesbain who think your a girl

bigmcd: GO STRAP ON A SET

bigmcd: SO WUT

lVlajinGohan: that cool

bigmcd: I HAVE A DICK

lVlajinGohan: me too

bigmcd: AND U DONT

lVlajinGohan: im a guy you idoit

lVlajinGohan: it s joke

bigmcd: O

bigmcd: HAPPY HANNAKUAH

lVlajinGohan: i do this for humor

bigmcd: ME 2

bigmcd: AND ITS FUN

bigmcd: IM 12\

lVlajinGohan: yea pretty much it is

lVlajinGohan: im 15

bigmcd: I DO IT ON THE WEEKENDS

bigmcd: IM NOT 12 I LIED

bigmcd: ABOUT A HORNY MAN

lVlajinGohan: really

bigmcd: THAT S 15

bigmcd: AND CANT GET GURLS SO I GO IN LIBEAN CHATS AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEM

lVlajinGohan: well thats cool

bigmcd: I KNO

bigmcd: U SHOULD TRY

bigmcd: IT WORKS

lVlajinGohan: what er pleases your mind

bigmcd: IM A PIMP NOW

lVlajinGohan: good for you

bigmcd: ALL BECUZ OF LISBEAN CHATS

bigmcd: I KNO

bigmcd: IT WORKED WONDERS

bigmcd: NOW IM WITH UR MOM

bigmcd: AND UR MOMS MOM

lVlajinGohan: wow just like those pills for your dick

bigmcd: AND

bigmcd: UR SISTER

bigmcd: YA BUT U USED THOOSE I DIDNT

lVlajinGohan: oh well if the chicken wont come out of the pantry then you of course know that icecream doesnt have bones

lVlajinGohan: so my advice is to hump a tree

lVlajinGohan: but make sure you use lubricant

lVlajinGohan: those splinters can be a real hassel

bigmcd: SO U LIKE TO =-O AND THEN U ACT ALL 😀

bigmcd: LUBRICANT

bigmcd: LUBE IT UP

lVlajinGohan: yea Mr.Robinson

lVlajinGohan: hey someone knocked on your door

lVlajinGohan: i think think it might bbe santa

lVlajinGohan: or maybe satan

lVlajinGohan: well dont cross the road if ya cant ge out of the kitchen

Previous message was not received by bigmcd because of error: User bigmcd is not available.

lVlajinGohan: awww he left…but not after warning me

Previous message was not received by bigmcd because of error: User bigmcd is not available.

 

#5871: Squall -> BballSparkle

Squall: Whats up my nig?

BballSparkle: nothing at all…. and hate to break it to ya. .i;m white

Squall: Ohh so your racist now?

BballSparkle: no…..

BballSparkle: I am just stating

Squall: So i cant be like whats up my nig anymore?

BballSparkle: ok u can… I am sorry

Squall: ITs not your fualt i was just making sure you didnt have long hair

BballSparkle: umm… ok

BballSparkle: lol

Squall: IF i told ypou i was racist against dead people would you hate me?

BballSparkle: ummm u mean biased??

Squall: No prejudised

BballSparkle: there ya go

Squall: No there you go

BballSparkle: u told me

Squall: They got cookies in this line….HOLLA

Squall: I SAID HOLLA

BballSparkle: I am ??

Squall: You are??

BballSparkle: right

Squall: So you play Bball?

BballSparkle: yeah

Squall: DO you spark while doing it?

BballSparkle: u knwo it

Squall: LIke dribble spark dribble spark

BballSparkle: well u could put it that way?

Squall: Ohh did you ever light the gym on fire?

BballSparkle: only the one time

Squall: amn you

BballSparkle: I know… it

Squall: Did you extinguish it?

BballSparkle: no… the other team did.. considering I smoked them

Squall: You smoked them??

BballSparkle: yeah ??

Squall: Did you get high?

BballSparkle: did u?

Squall: No did you

BballSparkle: no

Squall: You smoked a whole team and didnt get high?

BballSparkle: I havea high tolerance

Squall: Did you inhale?

BballSparkle: gtg ….

Squall: aight

Squall: Peace out my nig

 

Extreme Baseball – Rules

Materials: Baseball Bat, Pinecones, protective gear (optional)

# of Players: at least 4, works best with 8

What You Do:

1. One person is the batter, one of the other players pitches the pinecone

2. The batter hits the Pinecone, if they miss, the next person is up.

3. If they hit it scoring goes like this-

Caught by fielder: negative 5

Lands on ground – 0

Outta backyard – 1

limb shot – 3

chest shot – 5

head shot – 10

crotch shot – 20

KO – 30

death – 50

4. If you hit multiple people, you multiply the scores (e.g., a head and a crotch is 200) .  You play until all players are dead, KOed, or until no one can move.

5. The winner is who can move the best the next day. Points bare zero significance.

Boundaries: backyard or small room

 

Shit Whack – Rules

Materials: Stick(s) Plastic bag with somthing nobody wants (one for each player)

# of Players: As many as you want

What You Do:

1. Divide players into 2 equal teams (if any are left they can be extras so if someone gets beat up too badly).

2. Put the thing nobody want’s in a bag(s).

3. Put the Thing nobody wants on the ground.

4. Count to three then start whacking the thing with the stick.

5. You can have one guy from your team go and start humping the other players on the other team.

The team who breaks all their things first wins.

Boundaries: none