Page 1 of 1,36112345...1020304050...Last »

BlackJack Live Casino (iOS) Review

August 29th, 2015 Posted in Game Reviews, Games | No Comments »

Developer/Publisher: AbZorba Games || Overall: 8.0/10

Black Jack is your classic old-time casino game.  Counting cards, hitting at the right time, and making sure your six-shooter is at the ready just in case someone thinks you’re cheating.  Nowadays, it’s not so dangerous as Black Jack is now available on smart phones.  You can play it on the go, in your home, or on the can.  It would be hard playing in all three of those situations at the same time, but at least you have your gun in case anything unexpected happens…. like… umm… a jet fighter dog-fighting with your flying house that is powered only by the propulsion of toilet water?

Anywho, that’s enough of that.

BlackJack Live Casino for the iOS is one such Black Jack gaming app available.  While it’s a pretty normal casino app, it offers a few standard features to extend your play time such as buying more Credits (to play the actual Black Jack game) and a higher-tier currency known as Diamonds (for bonus games and customizing your avatar), and the usual time-based free bonuses for returning.  There is also a leveling system that automatically awards you Credits at each level up through play.

When using Credits to play Black Jack (which is arguably the whole point of BlackJack Live Casino), you can join a table and start playing against a dealer.  You can have up to four players (including yourself) at a table, going through the regular flow of Black Jack.  The game can be a bit social as you can chat with other players while playing, and you’ll watch each player take their turn against the dealer.  Unfortunately, you have to wait one by one, instead of everyone taking their turn at the same time.  This can make you feel impatient and not exactly make you want to join a table that is full as a result, since the games will take a little longer.  If people are talking, it can help with socialization as people have some extra time to type.

The game can be welcoming to players of all skill levels, but I think that the game would be useful to learn the ins-and-outs if you are just starting to learn Black Jack in general.  The user interface is pretty friendly and helps you out by automatically awarding you when you attain a Black Jack and automatically standing when you hit 21.  Lesser games would allow you to “mess up” and hit again to bust, so it is a nice feature to have included in the game.  There is a help menu that will explain Black Jack’s rules and as you play you’ll basically learn the flow of repeated plays.  The text can be a bit small at times, as well.

A funny aspect of the game, though I’m not sure how much it actually affects the gameplay, is that you or the other people at the table (including the dealer) can draw identical cards.  One game I drew two Five of Diamonds in the same play and although the game “shuffles” the cards after a certain amount of time, I’m unsure if this means they combined multiple decks or what.  This basically makes any inclination to “card count” pointless, if you were able to.  There are a couple of bonus games outside of the Black Jack game that requires Diamonds.  Diamonds are attained by purchase primarily, and you earn a lot more Credits with these bonus games.

What is possibly the most “interesting” feature is the Avatar system.  I was thoroughly amused by the amount of random items and costumes your avatars are able to wear, including sexy Santa, a mummy, a spy, a matador, a Texan waitress, etc.  Imagining all of these random people sitting around a table playing Black Jack is a bit fun to think about.  The avatar gallery provides an alternate use for your Diamonds and if you don’t want to use a preset avatar (known as a “Hero”) you can customize your avatar to your liking using a smattering of all of the pieces available.  When other players click to view your profile, they will be able to see your avatar as well as your other stats related to your career in the game.

Another funny aspect of the game is the “Cocktail” feature.  You are able to buy gifts/items/drinks for other people you are sitting at a table with, presumably for the times you want to impress people or something.  There are a few funny items in there, such as developer-branded French Fries, sunglasses, a hamburger, and other random things.  There appears to be a seasonal store that changes up depending on the time of year, as it currently has summery items available.

As far as free casino games go, BlackJack Live Casino is about all you can ask for in a Black Jack game.  A few tweaks here and there and I wouldn’t have anything to point out to complain about.  Black Jack can be fun for a round of hands every now and then and BlackJack Live Casino is a worthwhile option.

App Store Badge

 

-~-

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Tagged People:

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

Squacklecast Episode 27 – “How to Eat Grilled Cheese”

July 25th, 2015 Posted in Media, The Squacklecast | 1 Comment »

Wow!  I don’t know who keeps making these Squacklecasts, but they keep getting made.

We talk about ABC Family’s Harry Potter marathon a bit and which ones we like overall.  Also we realize how we can’t remember what happens in which one or what they’re called.

Comic Con 2015 began and ended in a boring whimper considering Marvel was a no-show.  Trailers from the convention are at Wired.

The current status of Marvel and how Ant-Man is or is not their current “peak.”  Avengers 2 was basically Cameo: The Movie.  The X-Men properties are discussed.

We talk about the DC properties which were arguably the most interesting part of this year’s Comic Con.

Movies about movies that didn’t get made — Superman Lives and pre-Lynch Dune.

Will Smith is Deadshot in the new Suicide Squad movie.  Hopefully he’s more like Capt. James West from Wild Wild West:

willsmithwildwildwest

Dave was mostly into the Garfield/Calvin and Hobbes types of comics instead of the Marvel/DC stuff.

Since Garfield likes lasagna, that was a segue into talking about food and Grilled Cheese.  Billy doesn’t like Grilled Cheese because his only experience with it was eating it at a buffet.

Perfect Grilled Cheese on sourdough is as follows:

grilledcheese

Awful wheat grilled cheese is this awful awful thing:

awfulgrilledcheese

More random food talk about bacon and other things.

Davepoobond’s Hate List for Celebrities (5 is average rating)

FRED 10/10, Bono 10/10, Owen Wilson 9/10, Jackie Chan 6/10

Melissa McCarthy 10/10, Julia Roberts 9/10, Drew Barrymore 8/10, Geena Davis 7/10, Cher 4/10

Fuck you FRED.  See you guys next time!

-~-

Tags: , , , , , ,

Tagged People: , , , , , , , , ,

+1-1 (+1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading...Loading...

Quote #24108

September 3rd, 2015 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

I’m really good at

“Making different voices, like Pokemon or Nintendo characters. I once counted 119 Pokemon voices I could do, I’m not sure how much my voice has changed though!”

– from a girl’s dating profile

-~-

Tags: , , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

Quote #24110

September 3rd, 2015 Posted in Quotes | 1 Comment »

My weakness are sweets, so if you wanna go on a Krispy Kreme run or grab a chic-fil-a oreo milkshake, I’m your girl! Haha just kidding…

– from a girl’s dating profile

-~-

Tags: , , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

Quote #24109

September 3rd, 2015 Posted in Quotes | 1 Comment »

Supporter of the American Flag and Confederate Flag. I support our troops as well.

Just to make this clear.. In my eyes the Confederate flag is the rebel flag. I am rebel all the way therefore I support it. Don’t message me saying a flag hurts you. It’s fabric. I don’t want to hear it.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

-~-

Tags: , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

Quote #24107

August 29th, 2015 Posted in Quotes | 1 Comment »

I’ll never be mean first but if I’m f***ed over I’ll bring the **** out.

– from a girl’s dating profile

-~-

Tags: , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

enigeria

August 22nd, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

enigeria – v. to initiate energy transfer with a life form by talking to them

-~-

Tags: , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

sudaregtmierori

August 22nd, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

sudaregtmierori – v. to come out of a room with three trash bags full of trash

-~-

Tags: , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

nareruul

August 22nd, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

nareruul – v. to have sex with a bouquet of roses

-~-

Tags: , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

vistottee

August 22nd, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

vistottee – n. an exaggerated sound effect imposed on a video in post-production.

Ex. A knife cutting an avocado sounded like it is a samurai blade in a duel in that commercial I just saw.  That was clearly a vistottee.

-~-

Tags: , , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

neesrenetnam

August 22nd, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

neesrenetnam – v. to sprinkle pop tart crumbs on your pubic hair

-~-

Tags: , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

ettrramufnideaasbi

August 22nd, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

ettrramufnideaasbi – v. to sleep in a bed with a sledgehammer that does not have any sheets, so you are sleeping right on the mattress itself.

-~-

Tags: , , , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

Quote #24074

August 20th, 2015 Posted in Quotes | 1 Comment »

“i have no desire for a half ass lover. i want someone to grab my neck and tell me i belong to them. i want to be wrapped around you on a Friday night in bed and have your lips be the last thing i taste before i go to sleep. i want you to bring me coffee in the morning and i want to rub your back at night. i want a love that can set my heart on fire and i want a lover who i can intoxicate with my madness.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

-~-

Tags: , , , , , , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

California Water Saving Tips

August 19th, 2015 Posted in Lists | No Comments »

California is in a perpetual drought.  We need tips!  Tips that will help save water!!!

– There are a number of ways to save water, and they all start with you.

– Rip out all of your grass. Dirt needs to be watered a lot less than grass.

– Use only paper plates and plastic-ware.  Water isn’t used to make those things.

– If you want to take a 15-minute shower, just don’t eat a hamburger.  You save water in what is probably a completely different state than California, and you don’t have to feel bad about it.  Those damn cows drink as much water as a 25 minute shower at least.

– Only use water from water bottles, they are probably not from California, maybe.  The likelihood goes up if you buy something labeled as a foreign country or place.

– Use vodka to make your Kool-Aid.

– Don’t drink water, drink your own sweat. It’s like recycling your own water.

– Bathe in fire.  It kills more germs.

– If you take a shit, remove the shit from the water, take it to work and flush it there.

– Wash your hands with your pee.

– Import ice from the North Pole/Antarctica.  It is melting anyway.

– Move out of California.

– Continue to disappoint your mother and harvest her tears.

– Shoot people who use water.

– Travel back in time and use the water before its gone.

– Use only your hands to drink water.

– Don’t eat fruits or vegetables.  You won’t waste water having to wash them.

– Keep a pitcher of water next to the toilet, that way any toilet water that splashes out goes down you and not on the floor.

– Reuse leftover water from the nuclear reactor to cook your spaghetti.

– Don’t cook food that requires water.

– Don’t buy fruits or vegetables that originate from California.

– Freeze water, that way it expands and you will have more water.

– Wash your laundry in another State.

– Don’t wash your clothes.  Use them one time and then return it to the store.

– Don’t take a shower.  You’ll save like a bajillion gallons of water a month.

– Put food coloring in your toilet.  It will mask the unpleasant color your unflushed piss and poo water will create naturally.  Don’t let FoodBabe know.

– Upgrade older toilets with rocket capability.

– Turn off the water while you brush your teeth.  That will save 40 gallons a minute.  That’s up to 250,000 gallons a day for a family of 6748.

– If your toilet was installed before 1992, thank the plumber.

– Consider a dual-flush toilet.  It will flush your toilet twice and use twice as much water.

– Take showers instead of luxurious baths.  You’re getting clean here, and only babies take baths.

– Don’t have children that use water.  Birth only dirt babies.

– Avoid having fun with water.  Fun wastes water.

– Avoid recreational water toys, they use water.

– See a leak you can’t fix?  Learn how to by going to plumber’s trade school for a year.

– Steal your water from a multinational corporation that isn’t based in California.

– Remove the cement from your driveway so that water can flood your home and not drain into the ocean.

– Start calling California “Arizona” instead of “California.”

– Plant alien plants that require human blood to live.

– Consider converting your home into an alien spaceship that does not require water to run.

– Start a compost pile in your bedroom.  This keeps the compost pile from evaporating its precious water.

– Don’t jerk off in the shower anymore.  Or just jerk off without the water on and then clean up afterwards.

– Plant water-hating plants.

– Hire the 10 year old kid next door to rip out your irrigation system.

– Catch water in an empty tuna can.  Then drink it.

– Use your hanging basket plants as pinatas.

– Only have sex in the Jacuzzi, the swimming pool needs too much water.

– Make your swimming pool tacky by removing waterfalls and stupid bullshit that makes it look nice.  Then you won’t want to swim in your pool anymore and you will contemplate just getting rid of the whole thing.

– Get rid of pesky pets that need water to survive.  Pet Rocks are coming back in style.

– Post a hotline in bathrooms that people can call so they can finish their shits faster.  I don’t know how this saves water, but I can at least take a shit since I’ve been waiting for 10 minutes!  God damn!

– Water-shame people who keep water in a bottle that is clearly not purchased from a store new.

– Do not drink processed water, it is unhealthy for you, similar to processed meats.  It is not as nature intended!

– Clean water is man-made, therefore it is unnatural and unhealthy!  It takes a lot of water to make clean water.

– Don’t put water inside water.  You lose the water you are putting inside of the water as it becomes just one water.

– Appoint a water ambassador to the ocean and beg it for rain.

– Marry or seduce a televised meteorologist and convince them to say there will be rain coming on the news even if it isn’t true.

– Strike up a conversation with a plumber and ask them how the plumber the seven seas.

– Lick dishes of their food and dirt instead of rinsing with water.  You can also get a dog to do this.

– A recent study showed people care about water usage.  Ain’t that cool?

– Destroy all decorative fountains you see.  Especially ones that are not yours.

– Don’t wash your car ever.

– Pee in the shower.

– Pee outside.  Select a private space near a bush you don’t particularly like and go at it.

– Don’t let children maintain a swimming pool.  They suck at math.  It is dangerous because they might miscalculate how much water to put in the swimming pool and that would suck for when you were having sex in there.  There is also a higher chance of them seeing you since they are responsible for the swimming pool.

– Get your girlfriend wet everyday and then water the plants with her.

– Start using wet humor instead of dry humor.  Or in this case, drought humor.

– Kill anyone who is doing a rain dance in California, they are obviously failing and are probably making things worse with their awful dancing.  Then water the plants with their blood.  It rained after all!

– Grow some clouds and then explode them all over your plants.

-~-

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Tagged People: , ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

Bad Submission #24071

August 19th, 2015 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song submission.

This form was submitted:  Feb 23 2005 / 14:22:33

name = janet
song = barney stupid i dont know what to do
i do not know
i do not know
he is so stupid
he is so stupid
i hate him
i hate him

-~-

Tags: ,

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...

Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #24070

August 19th, 2015 Posted in (F) Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Barney is an effing b****

Who’s life worse than hemorrhoids

He’s gay we know

His mind is slow

Hope he gets hit with asteroids!

-~-

Tags: , , , ,

Tagged People:

+1-1 (Heart or Hate?)
Loading...Loading...



Page 1 of 1,36112345...1020304050...Last »