A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”
Shouting back, the woman replies,
“For crying out loud, Ed, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour…I’ll be ready in a minute!”
Tag Archives: watch
Joke #18538
I met this guy the other day and I noticed he was wearing a huge watch with all sorts of little dials on it.
“Wow,” I said. “That’s one hell of a watch.”
“Thanks, it’s a divers watch,” he informed. “It’s waterproof to up to 500 meters, it won’t corrode, never needs batteries or winding…it’s the best divers watch money can buy.”
“Huh,” I said. “You dive?”
“No,” he said as a fearful look came over his face. “I hate the water.”
Joke #18449
Three tourists climbed up the tower with London’s Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps.
The second threw his watch and made only tow steps before hearing his watch shatter.
The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.” How did you do that?” asked one of his friends.
“My watch is 30 minutes slow.”
Joke #18292
Q: What did the chef say to the hungry watch?
A: “How about seconds?”
Joke #18092
HEALTH TEACHER: “How do we prevent tics?”
HAROLD: “Don’t wear watches.”
Joke #18059
Q: What could you give a kangaroo for his birthday that you couldn’t give a frog?
A: A pocket watch.
Joke #17968
WILL: “My sister swallowed a watch.”
BILL: “Does it hurt?”
WILL: “Only when she tries to wind it.”
Joke #17548
Q: What kinds of dogs are full of ticks?
A: Watch dogs!
Quote #16216
“I have a blonde joke, but then I’d insult my race”
::taps his head with a watch::
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
Quote #15611
“My watch bit me.”
– Nose
Quote #14893
“I love MyBeautyCenter. I love the watch I received. MBC prices and service keeps me coming back for more!”
– from the Internet
Quote #14885
“The watches are delivered really fast, and best of all, they arrive just as good as they look on the site. Great quality. I’ll be back!”
– from the Internet
Quote #14832
“I just got my watch and I’m very impressed! It looks gorgeous and fits quite comfortably. I had several complements on it already!”
– from the Internet
Quote #13534
“when I was taking this class, all the computing power in the world, in the WORRRLD…was less than the watch on my wrist”
– Dr. OldNBald
Joke #13256
Q: Why did the dumb-dumb refuse to throw away his broken watch?
A: Because he said it was right twice a day.