(a title appears in gay red colors that have “fat” letters with squiggly lines in them, that says “The Pump Girls)
(The Pump Girls appear next to each other under the title, and are dancing, then stop and say “PUMP” at the same time, raising their hands)
Announcer: Today’s episode is…
Pumpin’ Back to School Part 5
(Mommy Manager walks in)
Mommy Manager: Girls, summer vacation is over, so that means our touring is over as well. You have to go back to school!
AshAsh: ah, great…
KayKay: yeah! yeah! yeah! yeah!
Homey: can I go to school, too?
Mommy Manager: I…suppose
(camera zooms in on Homey)
(the camera scene turns black showing in white letters)
(along the way to school)
Homey (thinking): oh man, I don’t wanna go to school…what am I thinking? Oh yeah, there’s lots of LSD at school, I forgot…heh, silly me.
(KayKay blows bubbles in his face)
KayKay: Mr. Homey, why do you like school? I thought you were at lest 23
Homey: well, I am. I never graduated though. I got hooked onto LSD…
(Homey props his legs up on AshAsh’s head)
Homey: And I’ve been riding the SOOOOOOOUL TRAIN ever since
KayKay: what’s that?
Homey (looks out the window, ignoring KayKay): hey, look at that! a tree!
KayKay: you’re mean!
Homey: yes, I know
AshAsh: get your feet off my head!
(AshAsh grabs a handful of Homey’s leg hairs)
Mommy Manager: we’re here!
(The Pump Girls leave, except Homey)
(Homey makes his way out, but Mommy Manager holds him by the shirt)
Mommy Manager: listen carefully. If I have to come pick you up for doing something illegal, don’t bother calling!
(Homey jumps out of the van as it zooms away, rolling on the floor
Homey: oh…k…my next class is…Mrs. Stickums…
(Homey walks into the school, going to Mrs. Stickums’s room)
(elmoisfurry and davepoobond walks towards the class as well, and see Homey go in the room)
davepoobond: the hell? That guy smells..
(they walk into Mrs. Stickums’s room)
(Homey sits down in Mrs. Stickums’s chair, not knowing its hers)
Mrs. Stikcums (screaming): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CHAIR!? GET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!
Homey: ah! Ok!
(Homey gets out of the chair, accidentally bumping a rock that has “patience” chiseled in it onto the floor)
Mrs. Stickums (sreaming): DON’T TOUCH MY PATIENCE ROCK!!
(Homey shrivels up into a fetal position, crying)
Homey: leave me alone…
Mrs. Stickums: ok, class, today I will teach you about drugs
Homey (stops crying): drugs? All riiight!
Mrs. Stickums: open your books to page 420 and start reading, while I sit in front of the room eating large amounts of sugary lollipops and making myself evermore the fat bitch, not actually being a teacher
Homey: do we get to sample the drugs?
Mrs. Stickums (raising her fist): I’ll let you sample a little of this!
Homey: what is that?
Mrs. Stickums: my fist!
Homey: what about it?
(Mrs. Stickums punches Homey, and he flies through the roof, landing on the roof)
Homey: owww…that fat bitch…
(Homey gets dizzy and passes out)
(Homey wakes up a little later, next to a naked person)
Homey: AH! YUCK!
(Homey grabs the person and tosses her off, into a crowd of people. The crowd of people look up after a few minutes)
Crowd of people: murderer!
Homey: ah crap.
(next thing Homey knew, he was in jail)
(25 people are sitting around lifting waits and junk)
Homey: hey, how’s it going? Where is this?
Tiny: this is the Golden State Penitentiary, and its Story Time. So you better tell us a pretty good friggin story if you wanna stay alive
(Homey tells the story of the day)
(after Homey tells his story, everyone is crying)
Tiny: did she REALLY tear off all that leg hair?
Homey: yeah, look!
(Homey points to a bald spot on his leg)
Tiny: man, if I ever see her, I’m gonna kill her)
(AshAsh is thrown into the same cell as them)
Homey: the hell? Yo boys, AshAsh is here, remember, its her?
Tiny: oh yeah. Lets kill her!
(25 people run at AshAsh, punching her into the ground endlessly and kicking her too)
(Homey just watches)
(Homey checks his pockets, and gets a little eye dropper out, waving it around)
Homey: hey guys, lets have an LSD party!
25 people: yeah!
(just then, a guard smacks Homey in the head with a nightstick, knocking him out)