Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun-uh
Jack got high and popped his fly
And asked Jill if she wannna-uh
Jill said yes and popped her chest
And then they had sum fun-uh
Stupid Jill forgot her pill
And now they have a son-uh
Tag Archives: son
Joke #18618
Somewhat skeptical of his son’s new-found determination to become the next Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department.
“Please, Dad,” whined the boy, “I promise I’ll use them every day.”
“I don’t know, Michael. It’s really a big commitment on your part,” the father pointed out.
“Please, Dad?”
“They’re not cheap either.”
“I’ll use them Dad, I promise. You’ll see.”
Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door.
From the corner of the store he heard his son yell, “What! You mean I have to carry them to the car?!”
Joke #18508
Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As we walked in, our son asked if we’d like a cold drink. Mentally patting myself on the back for teaching him to be such a gracious host, I said, “Yes, what do you have?”
He walked over to the refrigerator, opened the door, studied the contents, and replied, “I have pickle juice or water.”
Joke #18500
A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and the youngster was taking it all in with a serious expression.
Dad,” the boy said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up…”
“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.
“What bus should I take home?”
Joke #18085
MOM: “Did you take an aspirin for that cold?”
SON: “Yes, I did.”
MOM: “Bayer?”
SON: “That’s how I caught it in the first place.”
Joke #17955
Q: Why did the father put his son under a beach umbrella?
A: To avoid son burn.
Joke #17900
CANNIBAL SON: “Can I eat the batter, mom?”
CANNIBAL MOM: “Yes, but only if he strikes out.”
Joke #17899
CANNIBAL FATHER: “Well, how did your team do today?”
CANNIBAL SON: “We creamed them.”
CANNIBAL FATHER: “In the finals?”
CANNIBAL SON: “No, in the main course.”
Joke #17522
“What’s wrong, son?” asks Eddie’s father.
“I lost my puppy,” sobs Eddie.
“Don’t cry,” says the concerned father. “We’ll get your dog back. We’ll put an ad in the paper.”
“That won’t do any good,” wails Eddie. “The dog can’t read!”
Quote #15184
“your son make flat tire for my car”
– from the TV
Quote #14590
“Did they send me daughters…..when I asked for sons? I’LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU!!”
– Mulan (1998)
Joke #13261
FATHER: “Where are the Appalachians?”
SON: “I think they’re in the refrigerator, Dad.”
Joke #13212
A mother was having a talk with her next door neighbor. “My son, Robert, is in medical school. He wants to deliver babies. To be honest, I would not trust him to deliver newspapers.”
Joke #13174
A mother who has a neat housekeeper looked at her teenaged son’s messy room and said, “Just because we live in a ranch house, that’s no excuse for your room to look like a stable!”
Joke #13151
A son asked her father, Hey, Pop, can I have 10 bucks to buy a skateboard?”
The father replied, “No! Look, Johnny, you should try to use your brains to raise the 10 dollars yourself.”
About five minutes later the lad returned and said, “Well, I raised the 10 dollars.”
The father asked, “How?”
The youngster smiled and said, “I asked Mom for it.”