It all depends on how you spend it. When you’re having a bad time, a minute seems more like an hour. And when you’re having a good time, an hour seems more like a minute.

The ten years between 8 and 18 seem to pass more slowly than a snail, but the ten years between 25 and 35 zip past like a hare with a hot foot.

Driving your mother two blocks to the store seems to take forever, but driving your girlfriend 20 miles back to her house after a date doesn’t take long enough.

The 24 hours of a work day drag second by second, but the 24 hours of a Saturday are gone in the time it takes to wind your watch.

The half-hour you spend studying seems more like two hours, but the two hours you spend parked in front of the TV set seem more like a half-hour.

A two-hour date with an ugly girl is too long, but a four-hour date with a pretty girl is too short.

Jokes, (F) Quicky Jokes

Joke #5508

September 7, 2007 A Squackler Leave a comment

Q: What did the snail say that was riding on the turtle back?

A: Weeeeeeeeeee

Jokes

Joke #5233: We Don’t Serve Snails…

September 3, 2007 davepoobond Leave a comment

A bartender and he was closing up for the night when he hears a knock at the door. He opened it and looked around, but saw no one. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees a small snail.

The snail says, “Hey Barkeep!…Can you get me a drink?”

“I’m afraid I can’t,” the bartender said. “First of all, we’re closed. And second of all, we don’t serve snails here!” With that, he picks up the snail and throws it across the street.

One week later, the same bartender was closing up for the night when again there’s a knock at the door. He opens the door but sees nobody. He looks down and sees the exact same snail from the week before.

Angrily, the snail looks up at him and yells… “What the heck did you do THAT for?!!!!!!”