Joke #12927

A doctor finished his examination and said to his patient, “My advice is to stop drinking and smoking and get plenty of sleep.  Also stop staying out all night.  That’s the best thing for you.”

The patient gulped and replied, “To be honest, Doc, I don’t deserve the best.  What is second best?”

 

Joke #12902

A bachelor was finding it hard to decide whether he should marry a very beautiful but stupid girl or a rather plain-looking creature who was blessed with a magnificent voice.  Art triumphed.  He married the soprano.

The morning after the nuptials he woke up, took one look at his sleeping bride, nudged her and shrieked, “For heaven’s sake, sing!”