Q: Why did the mouse sleep under the oil can?
A: So he wouldn’t squeak in the morning!
Tag Archives: sleep
Joke #13324
Q: Is it ok to sleep on a full stomach?
A: I prefer sleeping on a bed.
Joke #12927
A doctor finished his examination and said to his patient, “My advice is to stop drinking and smoking and get plenty of sleep. Also stop staying out all night. That’s the best thing for you.”
The patient gulped and replied, “To be honest, Doc, I don’t deserve the best. What is second best?”
Joke #12902
A bachelor was finding it hard to decide whether he should marry a very beautiful but stupid girl or a rather plain-looking creature who was blessed with a magnificent voice. Art triumphed. He married the soprano.
The morning after the nuptials he woke up, took one look at his sleeping bride, nudged her and shrieked, “For heaven’s sake, sing!”
Joke #12018
I’m so henpecked, my wife won’t even let me talk in my sleep.
Joke #11680
Q: Why did the space creature take hay to bed with him?
A: To feed his nightmare.
Joke #11477
Pam: Why were you so late for school this morning?
Tim: I dreamed I was playing football, and the game went into overtime!
Joke #11442
Sister: Why did you put that lamp in your bed?
Brother: I’m a light sleeper!
Joke #11435
Brother: Why are you taking that ruler to bed with you?
Sister: I want to see how long I sleep!
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Another version of this joke:
Q: Why did Billy take a ruler to bed with him?
A: To see how long he slept.
Joke #11409
A brother and sister had a fight and were sent to bed without any dinner.
After lying in bed for about ten minutes, the brother decided to make up.
So he tiptoed down the hall to his sister’s room, and whispered, “Are you awake?”
“I’m not telling you!” she whispered back.
Joke #11389
Beth: Why are you staring at the mirror with your eyes shut?
Alice: I want to see what I look like when I’m asleep!
Joke #11333
Boyfriend: I had to return that alarm clock you gave me for Valentine’s Day.
Girlfriend: Why?
Boyfriend: It kept going off while I was asleep.
Joke #10805
Q: Where do books sleep?
A: Under their covers.
Joke #10715
Q: How do you get an alien baby to sleep?
A: You rocket.
actilpug
actilpug – v. to put something in the mouth of someone who is sleeping during class without them knowing