Q: Where did the sick ship go?
A: To see a dock.
Tag Archives: ship
Joke #18365
Q: What’s the difference between a boat builder and a mail order mannequin company?
A: One shapes ships, the other ships shapes.
Joke #18352
Q: What’s the difference between the Coast Guard and an old wreck?
A: The Coast Guard goes to sea, and old wreck ceases to go.
Joke #18347
Q: What do baby ships like after a nighttime story?
A: Someone to lug them into bed.
Joke #18255
Q: Why did the superstitious sea captain refuse a cargo of duck feathers?
A: He didn’t want his ship to go down.
Joke #18254
Q: Why did Godzilla swallow the freighter loaded with cocoa beans?
A: He loved chocolate ships (chips).
Joke #17853
Q: What do cannibals call a shipwreck?
A: Lunch.
Joke #17556
A brilliant magician was performing on an ocean liner. But every time he did a trick, a talking cat in the audience would scream, “It’s a trick. It’s not magic. You’re a big phony!”
Then one night during a storm, the ship sank while the magician was performing. And who should end up in the same lifeboat together, all alone, but the talking cat and the magician! For three days, they glared at each other, neither one saying a word to the other.
Finally the cat sighed and said, “All right, smart-aleck. You and your darn tricks. What did you do with the ship?”
Quote #15117
“welcome aboard my choco-doughnut ship!”
– from the TV
Joke #13305
Q: What does a ship say when it is cold?
A: Shiver me timbers!
Joke #13298
Q: What is a sea monster’s favorite snack?
A: Ships and dip.
Tongue Twisters
– Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
– Seventy sailors sailed seven swift ships.
– Joe jumps joyfully in June and July.
– Davy Dear ducks Dinah Dear daily.
– Fast Freddie Frog fries fat flying fish.
– Hairy Harry Hartley hurries home.
– Slippery southern snakes slide swiftly down ski slopes.
– Billy Bunny burst his big beautiful blue balloon.
– Fran fans Fred frantically.
– Fast Frank fries frankfurters and french fries.
– How many bagels could a Beagle bake if a Beagle could bake bagels?
– Seven silly skunks sighed sadly.
– Little Linda Lamb licks her lovely lips.
– “Shoot, Sally,” Slim Sam shouted shyly.
– Wee Willy whistles to wise Wilber Whale.
Joke #12080
SAILOR ONE: “What would you do if you were the admiral?”
SAILOR TWO: “I would sell all the ships, fire all you guys, and move to Death Valley so I wouldn’t have to see water anymore.”
Joke #10968
Q: What do you call a shipwrecked rich man when you stick with a needle?
A: Mr. Howl.
Joke #9019
Q: What kind of ship never sinks?
A: A friendship.