Tag Archives: room

Joke #5256: Blue Cross

An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination whereupon the doctor said “You are in fine shape for your age, but tell me… do you still have intercourse?”

“Just a minute, I’ll have to ask my husband,” she said.

She went out to the reception room and said: ” Morris do we still have intercourse?”

Morris answered impatiently… “If I told you once I told you a thousand times…We have Blue Cross!!”

Joke #5255: Cow Butt

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball…stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”

“What did you do?”, asks the doctor.

Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,

“Hey, this looks like yours!”

Joke #5254: Keep Daddy Thin

One night, a young boy heard noises from his parent’s bedroom. It was hard for him, but he went back to sleep.

The next night he heard the same noises, but once again fell back asleep. Finally, on the third day that he was woken up by his parents, he decides to see what the heck they are doing. So he walks up to his parents room, and sees his mother on top of his father. She is moving up and down on top of him, and they both are making grunting noises. He has no idea what is going on, and decides to go back to bed.

The next morning the boy tells his mother about how they woke him up, and what he saw when he went to see what they were doing. Finally, he asks what was going on. His mother decides he is too young to learn about sex, so she tells him that since his father is getting old and fat, she has to jump on top on him to keep him thin. “But mommy,” the boy exclaims, “That won’t work, cause everyday when you go to work, the next door neighboor comes over and blows him back up!”

Joke #5251: Slacker

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO.

This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

 

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.

The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!

The CEO, walks up the guy and asks – “and how much money do you make a week?”

 

Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $200.00 a week. Why?”

 

The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams – “here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”

 

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks – “does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”

 

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters –

“Pizza delivery guy”.

Joke #5219: Secrets and Lies

One day a man comes home from work and he decides to tell his wife that he has been having an affair with his secretary. When he walks in the door he finds his wife in the living room.

“Um, honey, I got something to tell you.”

“Hold on,” the wife says, “I’ve got something to tell you first.”

“What is it?” asks the husband.

“Well,” the wife begins, “before we knew each other, I . . . uh. . . had a sex change.”

“What exactly are you saying?”

“Simply put,” the wife says, “I used to be a man.”

“My god,” the husband replies, “and you’ve been hitting from the ladies tees this whole time!”