Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As we walked in, our son asked if we’d like a cold drink. Mentally patting myself on the back for teaching him to be such a gracious host, I said, “Yes, what do you have?”
He walked over to the refrigerator, opened the door, studied the contents, and replied, “I have pickle juice or water.”
Q: What would you get if you crossed a dill with a thief?
A: A pickle-pocket.
Q: What’s green and crunchy and makes a low noise?
A: Pickle-o (piccolo).
Q: Where does a pickle love to eat?
A: In a dilly-catessen!
Q: What do you call a cat who eats a pickle?
A: A pickle puss!
Q: What did the preacher say at the pickle wedding?
A: “Dilly Beloved, we are gathered here together…”!
Q: What did the hamburger say to the pickle?
A: You’re dill-icious!
Cheryl Lard
Rabbit Redford
Goldie Hen
Lauren Bagel
Barbra Streisandwich
Vincent Slice
Jane Fondue
Ingrid Burgerman
Pea Marvin
Beet Midler
–
And their favorite comics of all time:
Peter Fork
Bread Buttons
Joan Livers
David Steinburger
Lico-Rich Little
Phyllis Dill-Pickle
Bean Martin and Cherry Lewis
“hunger is the best pickle”
– Benjamin Franklin
Q: What did the creature from space say when he first saw a pickle?
A: That cucumber is angry!
Q: What’s green, has bumps, and plays football?
A: The Green Bay Pickles.
“My business is looking better,” said the optometrist.
“My business is down in the dumps,” said the garbage man.
“Mine is rolling in dough,” said the baker.
“Mine is slow,” said the turtle salesman.
“My business is for the birds,” said the pet store owner.
“My business has sunk to a new low,” said the deep-sea diver.
“My business is turning sour,” said the pickle salesman.
“Mine is going up,” said the elevator operator.
“My business is sick,” said the doctor.
Q: What is a green and pecks on a tree?
A: Woody wood pickle.
brenda – n. a 2/3 pound burger with lean bacon strips, swiss cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato, and pickle
koediuv – v. to get your head stuck in a pickle jar