It’s not just the stock market that’s been telegraphing “trouble” about the economy. The price of thoroughbreds has matched Wall Street’s fluctuations. Yearlings that sold for an average of $27,295 in 1994 were fetching $54,506 in 2000. But recent sales have seen 20 percent declines from a year ago.
Moral: If you invest in horses, don’t expect stable prices.
I rode home with a co-worker a few days ago and I asked her to wait for me while I used the ATM machine. She asked if I trusted “those people.”
“People WHO?” I asked.
She said, “The ATM people! You know how the ATM operates by having a person inside the box. Every time you put in your card, he takes it, looks at it, and checks his paper files and folders for your account number. Here he can find your PIN and check the balance. This person then asks you to ENTER your PIN, cross checks it, and if all matches, you can proceed. If not, he keeps your card.
“If you ask for a statement, he types it from his books and you get the printout. If you ask for a withdrawal, he checks the balance and any restrictions, and if all is ok, gives you the amount. He then calls all of the other branches and ATMs, tells them how much you’ve withdrawn, so they can update THEIR books.”
FLIP: “I just bought a talking parrot for a thousand dollars.”
SKIP: “What does it say?”
FLIP: “You paid too much, you paid too much!”
Q: Why did the little girl give her allowance to the bread makers?
A: She wanted to help the kneady.
Q: Who cornered the spice market?
A: Herb, of course!
Q: What kind of food is crazy about money?
A: A dough-nut!
Q: Why did the young man go into the pizza business?
A: He wanted to make some dough!
Q: What highly valued pet can you find at a dime store?
A: A goldfish!
There was this stoner guy that came to the store on Tuesday. He had a rental book that was about a month and a half overdue, and he had said that he had come into the store earlier and talked to someone upstairs in the textbook department about returning the rental book, but they had to talk to us at Customer Service before being able to.
The reason being, there is a late fee/replacement price associated with any late rental books. And, being a month and a half overdue, this fucker thought he’d be able to just return a water-damaged book three weeks into the next semester without having to pay anything.
The reasoning behind his being late was he had “exigent circumstances” that prevented him from completing the class on time. Okay, fine. He brought his teacher with him to vouch for him, as well. Oh, great.
So, I went upstairs to ask a book manager and to see what they could do for the guy, which I knew wouldn’t be much. When she came down to talk to him, the guy was a complete idiot and kept saying how he had exigent circumstances and he “had a baby” and can’t be throwing around sixteen dollars here and there.
The manager had come to a middle ground and said that we would only charge him the late fee, which was the rental fee again at 14 dollars. The guy didn’t understand why he had to pay a late fee for something he has in his hand and was trying to return to us. She also offered if he had bought the book at the replacement price of 16 dollars, we would buy back the book at 5 dollars, so he’d actually be saving 3 dollars if he had done so.
He wouldn’t have it. He didn’t want to pay a dime. This stupid mother fucker had his school records on hold and couldn’t change or drop any of his classes or get any school services that he might need done because of 15 dollars. He didn’t understand why we charged late fees and didn’t agree that he should pay them. But he still signed the agreement to the terms, and it was his fault he didn’t read it.
So he started throwing around accusations like “you guys are nickel and dime-ing students” and he had “just bought a $150 book” and now had to “buy another $15 book.” So the book manager had made the argument that that we had lost out on the money the bookstore could have made off that book, which is why we charge the late fee/replacement price, and that it was already three weeks into the semester and we will probably lose out on the opportunity to sell that book to another student.
Then he said, “How are you so sure that all the students have gotten their books already,” and the book manager said we didn’t, but most have already gotten their books so the likelihood of it being sold was minimal. Then he said “well, *I* didn’t get my books,” in a “ah-ha I got you” kind of tone. The book manager said “I’m not going to get into a nit-picky fight with you…” etc etc.
So at the end of it, the guy ended up NOT paying and he left with a hold still on his school records. And the whole time, the faculty member he coerced into bringing with him was nodding her head agreeing with everyone. She was probably oblivious to everything that was happening, and I don’t know why she was wasting her time at 7 pm to come with this guy to try and get him off on any late fees.
Fuckin’ asshole comes right before the store closes too. What a great time to come.
Q: Can a pet really be worth $500?
A: Yes, if it saves all its money!
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