The economy is terrible. At the beginning of the fiscal year, the politicians promised things would improve by the last quarter. Well, I’m down to my last quarter and they haven’t improved.
Tag Archives: money
Joke #12443
Everyone in the world is feeling the money crunch. This year at the North Pole, Santa Claus showed up at the unemployment office the day after Christmas.
Joke #12438
It’s bad enough that a dollar doesn’t go very far these days, but what’s worse is that it doesn’t even stay around very long.
Joke #12408
“The brakes are gone!” cried the wife. “I can’t stop the car. What should I do?”
Her husband beside her in the front seat said, “Keep calm and look for a cheap economy car.”
“Why bother to look for a cheap economy car?” she asked.
“Do you think I’m going to let you stop by crashing into a brand new luxury car?”
Joke #12394
Wife to her husband: “I could balance this household budget, dear, if you made 500 dollars more a week.”
Joke #12387
A teenaged boy drove his old car up to a toll booth on a highway. The toll collector said, “75 cents.”
The kid said, “Sold!”
Joke #12386
A husband looking at his checkbook was heard to say to his wife, “I figured it out. Right now I have enough money to last us the rest of our lives. Of course if I buy something, that’s a different story.”
Joke #12363
If money talks, then my wife is Fort Knox.
Joke #12352
Did you hear about the Florida pickpocket who went bankrupt because he had cold hands?
Joke #12351
Inflation has even affected our police operations. Now the cops only look for missing persons who owe back taxes.
Joke #12347
TRAFFIC JUDGE: “For speeding, the penalty is ten days in jail or ten dollars cash.”
MOTORIST: “I’ll take the cash, Your Honor. I can use it.”
Joke #12333
“I know an ex-con who made a fortune in crooked dough.”
“Was he a counterfeiter?”
“No, a pretzel maker.”
Joke #12323
Being a mugger isn’t that great a job. The hours are good and the pay is high, but there’s no medical coverage.
Joke #12285
PATIENT (on phone): “Doctor, I’ve decided to kill myself.”
PSYCHIATRIST: “Don’t do anything rash until you answer one question for me.”
PATIENT: “What’s that?”
PSYCHIATRIST: “Is your bill paid?”
Joke #12282
PATIENT: “Is it true, Doc, you make a lot of money?”
DOCTOR: “You bet I do. Would you want to trust your health to a doctor who didn’t make a sack of dough?”