I finally found out there is more to life than just money. There are credit cards, stocks, bonds, and traveler’s checks.
Tag Archives: money
Joke #13020
The hotel I stayed in during my vacation was a tourist trap. Nothing was free. I even had to rent a pen to sign the register.
Joke #13017
I thought about visiting Japan on vacation this year. But when summer rolled around, I found I just didn’t have the yen to make the trip.
Joke #13016
Midgets are the only people who don’t mind being in debt up to their ears.
Joke #13003
Q: Why did the millionaire change his will?
A: He said he felt like getting some fresh heirs.
Joke #13000
VAGRANT: “If I knew how to make money, I wouldn’t be in jail.”
COUNTERFEITER: “I know how to make money. That’s why I’m in here.”
chiselitis
chiselitis – n. a medical condition diagnosed by the propensity to not pay medical bills
Joke #12896
OVERHEARD IN A HOLLYWOOD STUDIO: “My last movie made over 35 million dollars. One million on admissions and 34 million on the popcorn!”
Joke #12895
GAL (to her boss): “Mr. Stanley, my mother told me to ask you for a raise.”
MR. STANLEY: “Okay, I’ll ask my mother if I may give you one.”
Joke #12890
Gal at desk of fellow worker: “I’m taking up a collection to buy a larger collection box!”
Joke #12889
Overheard in a large office: “I have to ask for a raise. My take-home pay doesn’t even make it halfway home now!”
Joke #12882
MILLIONAIRE: “Son, to make it in business you’ve got to live by two principles, honesty and wisdom.”
SON: “What do you mean by that, Dad?”
MILLIONAIRE: “Be honest in business. If you promise to do something, keep your word even if you have to go bankrupt to do it.”
SON: “And what about wisdom?”
MILLIONAIRE: “That’s simple to explain, son. Never make any promises.”
Joke #12881
EXPLAIN THIS: A man who takes money out of a man’s pocket without permission is a pickpocket. A woman who takes money out of a man’s pockets without permission is a wife.
nincompoop
nincompoop – n. a rich kid who really believes that the school bully is going to pay back the money he borrowed from him
Joke #12862
I heard a story about a husband whose wife was never pleased with any present he bought her. So one Christmas he decided to give her cash as a gift. Naturally, she exchanged it for something else.