“Did you just call me a waffle-iron?”
– MadManWithAnAxe
Tag Archives: MadManWithAnAxe
#10962: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe
davepoobond: why’d you call me
MadManWithAnAxe: I didn’t
davepoobond: how did you even get my number
MadManWithAnAxe: Was it really your number?
davepoobond: yeah…
MadManWithAnAxe: it got an error thing
davepoobond: oh
MadManWithAnAxe: 523 848 0334
MadManWithAnAxe: that’s not it, is it?
davepoobond: it is
davepoobond: actually it isn’t, i was just jerkin your chain. ha ha ha oh boy.
MadManWithAnAxe: heh heh heh, I’ll leave that message out of my conversation with btt
davepoobond: k. you dont have my sn sending to him do you
davepoobond: i’m guessing you did
davepoobond: since stimpyismyname just sent it back to me
MadManWithAnAxe: I copied what you said
#10961: blowthetoad -> stimpyismyname
blowthetoad: eh whats dave’s phone number
blowthetoad: me and madmanwithanaxe would love to know it
stimpyismyname: 523 848 0334
stimpyismyname: …oh shit
blowthetoad: are you serious?
stimpyismyname: no
stimpyismyname: dont dial it
blowthetoad: 848 0334 is a bakery in atlanta
blowthetoad: you’ve betrayed me
stimpyismyname: heh
blowthetoad: >:o
blowthetoad: wait…. you did say he worked in a bakery
blowthetoad: does he live in atlanta now?
stimpyismyname: maaaaybe
blowthetoad: maaaaybe not? 🙁
stimpyismyname: ask for john
blowthetoad: omg it worked
stimpyismyname: cool
stimpyismyname: whatd he say
blowthetoad: “yeah who’s this?”
blowthetoad: and i was like “blowtheto… er… your mom”
blowthetoad: then giggled like a school girl and hung up
stimpyismyname: heh
stimpyismyname: you fool
blowthetoad: fool im not
blowthetoad: you believed me
blowthetoad: 😉
stimpyismyname: ah
stimpyismyname: i meant fool for hanging up… but whatever
blowthetoad: you believed me again
blowthetoad: DOUBLE WHAMMY!!!
stimpyismyname: ok..
blowthetoad: i didnt even dial it
blowthetoad: madman did
stimpyismyname: good for you
stimpyismyname: pussy
blowthetoad: i am what i eat
blowthetoad: OOOOH
blowthetoad: I GOT YOU THURR DOGG!
#10950: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe
davepoobond: rawr
MadManWithAnAxe: meow
davepoobond: sometimes when i type, a space magically appears at the end of what i type
MadManWithAnAxe: You should investigate
MadManWithAnAxe: ask around
davepoobond: i’ve got other conspiracies i’m working on. like how i’m going to bullshit so much on my personal essays because i’ve done nothing with my life
davepoobond: and wondering why that actually came about
davepoobond: and the reason is — piracy
davepoobond: since piracy seems to be the root of all problems in the world lately
davepoobond: why can’t i blame it too
davepoobond: har har har har i’m going craaazzzyyy and its because i download mp3 files!
davepoobond: i support communism!
davepoobond: stalin is my hero. if stalin were alive today, he’d support filesharing too
MadManWithAnAxe: FUCK THE POLICE!! DOWNLOAD LINKIN PARK MP3S!!!!
MadManWithAnAxe: And F*** censorship too
MadManWithAnAxe: and fuck political correctness, it’s retarded
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: especially political correctness
davepoobond: i hate that bullshit
davepoobond: how they always have some person in a wheel chair
davepoobond: or something insignificant, like a leg brace
#10930: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe
davepoobond: i think the orange of squackle makes people go blind
MadManWithAnAxe: nah
#10892: blowthetoad -> davepoobond
blowthetoad was on a different screen name than he usually used. Not to mention, he was saying he was someone else (another persona, basically) that davepoobond knew. davepoobond didn’t know that “larkin” was blowthetoad at the time.
–
blowthetoad: …how did you know?
davepoobond: how did i know what
blowthetoad: <larkin
davepoobond: what about him
blowthetoad: i am larkin
davepoobond: oh ok
davepoobond: how did i know what
blowthetoad: that madman knew flash
davepoobond: uhhh
blowthetoad: i’m not making any sence am i?
#10887: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe
davepoobond: do you know where i can get all the Kidz Bop albums for free
MadManWithAnAxe: ……………………….. no
MadManWithAnAxe: kazaa maybe
davepoobond: i know that, but riaa
davepoobond: and also i dont think many people will want those songs to be distributed anyway
davepoobond: cause they’re so horrible
MadManWithAnAxe: yeah
#10742: MadManWithAnAxe -> Holmes
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s mean to name your kid Fuckface.
Holmes: ha
Holmes: how true
Holmes: and yet…
Holmes: how hilarious
MadManWithAnAxe: hehe
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: All the money in the world can’t buy your dignity back if someone videotapes you trying to give oral pleasure to a lawn gnome.
Holmes: damn there goes all my hopes for my dignity back
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Polar bears do not like complimentary ass massages.
Holmes: have you tried it? don’t knock it until you try it
MadManWithAnAxe: hahaha
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: If you’re going to attempt to stick your head up someone elses anal cavity, it’s probably in your best interest to wear goggles.
Holmes: well that brings new meaning to the term: i can’t see shit
MadManWithAnAxe: HAHA
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s not against the law to put a litter of kittens into your mouth…but it should be.
Holmes: whats wrong with eating more then one pussy at once?
MadManWithAnAxe: HEH
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: A human face doesn’t taste as good as I thought it would.
Holmes: oh well..theres always hope in eating a dogs face
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: I’ll bet everyone without legs has a funny story to tell.
Holmes: hah…uncle benny cut his legs off because we wouldn’t feed him his second dinner!
MadManWithAnAxe: hehehehe, that’s great
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Just because the space-gnomes inside your head tell you to, it’s never a good idea to staple yourself to pogo stick and yell “BEWARE!: I AM POGO-BOY, THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE!” People might think you’re crazy.
Holmes: it’s sooo typical of people to judge me just because i am pogo-boy…will the racism ever end?
MadManWithAnAxe: HEH
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: You may think it’s cool to dress up in hot pants and a ten gallon hat and attend random people’s funeruls and sing 80’s style karaoke , but you’re really just making an ass out of yourself.
Holmes: ….NOW you tell me
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: I wouldn’t exactly know from experience, but I’ll bet it’s pretty hard to hide a penguin in your ass.
Holmes: well, sorry to burst your bubble, but remeber hearing about penny, the famous penguin that ran away from the circus? guess where he is…
MadManWithAnAxe: :-DHAHAHA
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: You’d think having sex with a mattress would be more satisfying than it actually is.
Holmes: water bed’s are oh so sexy!
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s never a good idea to masturbate and ski at the same time.
Holmes: oh yeah…oh yeah i’m coming…i’m coming…i’m com- *splat* poor joe, took a whole box of viagra before he went skiing…and hit a tree…what a way to go…
MadManWithAnAxe: hah
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Just because you have the means to fit a midget into your ass, doesn’t make it right.
Holmes: well…penny needed a friend
MadManWithAnAxe: HEEHEEHE
MadManWithAnAxe: ;-)that was good
MadManWithAnAxe: you should be famous
Holmes: heh i doubt i could be
Holmes: damn i hate when people IM you when your typing a sentence
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Sex with a microwave isn’t very pleasurable.
Holmes: that’s because your only suppose to do anal
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: To be impaled on a toothbrush…that’s gotta be a crappy way to die.
Holmes: not as crappy as dieing in someone’s ass
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: All the drugs in the world cannot equal the fun of poking a hobo with a sharpened stick.
Holmes: poking a hobo who’s on all the drugs in the world at once with a sharp stick, now that’s FUNNY!
MadManWithAnAxe: hehe
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Injecting anti-freeze into your scrotum may make people think you’re cool, but what would your parents think?
Holmes: well, i perfer my penis NOT to shrivel up when it’s cold…people will think i’m on the “short” side
MadManWithAnAxe: heeeeeeeey, that’s actually not a bad idea
Holmes: yeah…now if only i could stop my nipples from getting hard…
MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: If you’re eating a sandwich, and the sandwich starts mumbling at you in Latin, it’s probably best just to put it down and just walk away.
Holmes: but first kill it before it plans to take over the world…and steal it’s tomatos
#10601: HazMatt911 -> MadManWithAnAxe
HazMatt911: back
MadManWithAnAxe: ummm….hi
MadManWithAnAxe: You might like this (its a link to dolphinsex.com)
HazMatt911: u jerk
MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT?
HazMatt911: do u play
HazMatt911: do u
MadManWithAnAxe: ummm……sure
HazMatt911: u wear boxers
MadManWithAnAxe: ummmm….sure
HazMatt911: how big is pole
MadManWithAnAxe: umm…..around 2″ to 2 1/2″
HazMatt911: that is how big ur dick is
MadManWithAnAxe: approximately
HazMatt911: how tall r u
MadManWithAnAxe: i already told you 2′ 6″
HazMatt911: k
MadManWithAnAxe: i can barely reach the keyboard
MadManWithAnAxe: hello?
HazMatt911: hey
MadManWithAnAxe: i like putting things in my butt!
HazMatt911: great
MadManWithAnAxe: I think i love you
MadManWithAnAxe: i wanna have your children
MadManWithAnAxe: FINE!
MadManWithAnAxe: i guess we can never be together
MadManWithAnAxe: i thought we had something special, you and me
MadManWithAnAxe: but i guess it was all just a game!
MadManWithAnAxe: Why?!?!?
#10592: MadManWithAnAxe -> davepoobond
MadManWithAnAxe: well, well, well
davepoobond: eh eh eh?
MadManWithAnAxe: look what the cat dragged in
MadManWithAnAxe: if it isn’t mister slap-happy himself
davepoobond: look what your MOM dragged in
davepoobond: hahaha
MadManWithAnAxe: awwwwwwww
MadManWithAnAxe: :'( you can be so cruel sometimes, davey
davepoobond: sorry
MadManWithAnAxe: it’s ok
MadManWithAnAxe: i know what it feels like to be anally raped by my father….wait…no i don’t…sorry, i can’t help you
davepoobond: hmm
MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry, i’m all out of bananas
#10591: MadManWithAnAxe -> davepoobond
MadManWithAnAxe: well, well, well
davepoobond: hi
MadManWithAnAxe: well?
davepoobond: well what
MadManWithAnAxe: i was hoping you knew
davepoobond: well i dont
MadManWithAnAxe: so…i have found your weakness
davepoobond: darn
davepoobond: :-$
MadManWithAnAxe: :-X
MadManWithAnAxe: i implore you to reconsider
davepoobond: what
MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me
#10590: MadManWithAnAxe -> davepoobond
MadManWithAnAxe: ()0oO()oO()o0OoOo()
davepoobond: wow
MadManWithAnAxe: it took me 7 years to type that
#8585: MadManWithAnAxe -> masteryoda
MadManWithAnAxe: shut the fuck up! i need total concentration……
masteryoda: i’m not sayin anything damn!
MadManWithAnAxe: Didn’t you hear me the first time! shut up!
masteryoda: and didn’t you hear me? CAUSE I’M NOT SAYIN SHIT!
MadManWithAnAxe: DUDE, IF YOU DON’T CUT THAT SHIT OUT I’M GONNA HACK AT YOUR
ANKLES WITH A SCREWDRIVER
masteryoda: and i’ll shove that screw driver so far up your ass you’ll bleed
from your mouth
MadManWithAnAxe: I’M GONNA GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES WITH A CLAW HAMMER AND MAKE
LOVE TO THE SOCKETS IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE HELL UP
masteryoda: your weird man
MadManWithAnAxe: i should ask you the same question
masteryoda: what the hell are you on?
MadManWithAnAxe: DON’T EAT ME GRANDPA!
masteryoda: i’m 16 smartass
MadManWithAnAxe: smartass is ssatrams backwards!
#8584: r carter -> MadManWithAnAxe
r carter: BYE
MadManWithAnAxe: i once knew a man from nantucket!
r carter: what part of bye don’t u get
r carter: it means your not going to talk to someone for a period of time
MadManWithAnAxe: the e
r carter: so bye
MadManWithAnAxe: see by
MadManWithAnAxe: and bye are different
MadManWithAnAxe: why?
MadManWithAnAxe: why an E
MadManWithAnAxe: why not an A
MadManWithAnAxe: why can’t we say BYA!
MadManWithAnAxe: or BYO
MadManWithAnAxe: or even BYU
MadManWithAnAxe: i don’t get it
r carter: yeah u would think about that kinda thing woudn’t u
MadManWithAnAxe: U U U it’s all about U isn’t it
r carter: NO YOU
MadManWithAnAxe: ME?
r carter: YES
MadManWithAnAxe: or YOU
r carter: NO
MadManWithAnAxe: which you do you mean?
r carter: YOU
MadManWithAnAxe: YOU as in YOU or YOU as in ME
MadManWithAnAxe: ?
r carter: YOU AS N YOU
MadManWithAnAxe: YOU? or ME?
r carter: YOU
r carter: fine
r carter: bye
MadManWithAnAxe: ME?
r carter: yepperz
MadManWithAnAxe: then why didn’t you say so?
r carter: i didn
r carter: did
r carter: like htousand time s
MadManWithAnAxe: no…you said YOU…not ME
MadManWithAnAxe: I’m ME …you’re YOU
r carter: kljefjadfl k;ajsdflkja sdfljl;kdjsf sdafoiweruoia7us rifajsdfklas
fjlasflkjalskdfja8 aoer8792e4857923485wrkjc lfja ljnlksmfl/asdjpdjfskld fkasdjf;
MadManWithAnAxe: not the other way around dumbass
r carter: i am not the dumbass YOU ARE
MadManWithAnAxe: YOU?
r carter: NO
MadManWithAnAxe: then why did you say YOU?
r carter:
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hh
r carter: im not in the mood to think
r carter: see yyyyaaaaaaa
MadManWithAnAxe: YA? ya as in ME or YOU?
r carter: you
MadManWithAnAxe: YOU?
MadManWithAnAxe: or me?
MadManWithAnAxe: Explain things better
r carter: quit asking stupid questions and get the heck away from em
r carter: me
MadManWithAnAxe: ME? or YOU?
MadManWithAnAxe: back away from myself?
MadManWithAnAxe: you’re not making any sense
r carter: YES I AM
MadManWithAnAxe: I as in YOU?
MadManWithAnAxe: I am ME
MadManWithAnAxe: YOU are YOU
MadManWithAnAxe: get it?
#8581: partlycloudy -> MadManWithAnAxe
partlycloudy: asl?
MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
partlycloudy: i asked ur age sex and location?!?!?!?
partlycloudy: lol
MadManWithAnAxe: don’t lie
MadManWithAnAxe: i know your “type”
partlycloudy: my type huh
partlycloudy: ?
partlycloudy: and what is my “type?
MadManWithAnAxe: don’t tell me what to do, davey
partlycloudy: davey?
partlycloudy: dude im a chick
MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me
partlycloudy: ever met a chick named davey?
MadManWithAnAxe: well….once…but that…that was a long time ago…..
partlycloudy: o really?
MadManWithAnAxe: i really don’t want to talk about it now
MadManWithAnAxe: she was the only one i truly loved
partlycloudy: was it bad?
partlycloudy: really?
partlycloudy: r u bein serious?
MadManWithAnAxe: no….i was just lying to impress you
partlycloudy: really?
MadManWithAnAxe: no….that was also a lie
partlycloudy: well………………..
MadManWithAnAxe: i’m not wearing any pants
partlycloudy: thanks for sharing what about boxers or breifs?
partlycloudy: lol
MadManWithAnAxe: nope…they’re against my religion
partlycloudy: and what realigion what that be i need to convert
MadManWithAnAxe: It’s called ARRRRGGGHHH!!!
partlycloudy: i guess i should look in to that
MadManWithAnAxe: no, it’s a secret
MadManWithAnAxe: you can’t join
MadManWithAnAxe: unless……………..
partlycloudy: unless???????????????
partlycloudy: ……………….
MadManWithAnAxe: UNLESS YOU CAN ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREE!
partlycloudy: ok lets see what u got
partlycloudy: well……………question #1
MadManWithAnAxe: A TRAIN LEAVES FROM DALLAS AT APPROX. 2:30 IN THE A.M. AT 20 MPH, AT THE SAME TIME ANOTHER TRAIN LEAVES FROM PORTLAND TRAVELING TOWARDS DALLAS AT 30 MPH….WHAT TIME DO THEY MEET?
MadManWithAnAxe: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
partlycloudy: ??????????
MadManWithAnAxe: GUESS!
partlycloudy: tick
MadManWithAnAxe: correct…..
MadManWithAnAxe: QUESTION THE SECOND!
partlycloudy: k
MadManWithAnAxe: WHO IS THE LEAD SINGER OF THE GROUP DEADSY?
MadManWithAnAxe: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
MadManWithAnAxe: WELL?
partlycloudy: hang on my sis is talking to me bout somethin
partlycloudy: ! sec
partlycloudy: 1
MadManWithAnAxe: close enough
MadManWithAnAxe: QUESTION THE THIRD!
partlycloudy: lol
MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
partlycloudy: WHAT THE HELL
partlycloudy: ?
MadManWithAnAxe: tick tock
partlycloudy: WHAT THE HELL???????
MadManWithAnAxe: sorry….i’m afraid that is incorrect, my dear
MadManWithAnAxe: you can’t be a part of my cult
partlycloudy: o really?
MadManWithAnAxe: and you don’t get to come to my birthday party!
partlycloudy: and the right answer would be???????????
partlycloudy: well…….
partlycloudy: darn lol
partlycloudy: and the right answer would be???????????
MadManWithAnAxe: i think we BOTH know the answer to that one
partlycloudy: well just pretend i dont know and share it with me
MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry dave, i’m afraid i cant do that
MadManWithAnAxe: i’m afraid
MadManWithAnAxe: i’m afraid
partlycloudy: well thats cool if u will quit calling me dave
MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry dave, i’m afraid i cant do that
MadManWithAnAxe: now, we dance
MadManWithAnAxe: VROOOOOOOOOOOOM!
MadManWithAnAxe: WILL YOU MARRY ME?
MadManWithAnAxe: i once knew a man from NANTUCKET!
MadManWithAnAxe: she called me a toaster oven!