On top of the tree top
All covered with blood
I shot poor Barney in the gut
I went to his funeral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
On Friday 13 he came back from the dead
I grab a bazooka and blew off his head
…..
On top of the tree top
All covered with blood
I shot poor Barney in the gut
I went to his funeral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
On Friday 13 he came back from the dead
I grab a bazooka and blew off his head
…..
On top of the school bus
All covered in red
We killed Barney
And chopped off his head
I went to his funeral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a bitch’s ass so Barney’s dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“When you guys die before me, because of your bad food choices, I’ll be laughing on your grave while suckin’ down my bowl of heaven.”
– MWMATRD
First Date:
“this is random but i wouldn’t even mind going to a graveyard and fall asleep on a grave.”
– from a girl’s dating profile
waterbury – v. to bury someone in water. This is usually used to essentially put someone in a casket inside of a glass aquarium, and into the ground. The glass aquarium may or may not be covered in dirt. An inventive way to be buried until the glass breaks and you stink up the whole cemetery with your stupid idea of being buried in water.
A wife and husband buy a single gravestone (presumably an act of mutual marital faith).
The husband passes away “before his time” and the wife, after a few years, falls in love again and remarries. Where shall she be buried?
The solution was cremation. She could be cremated and put next to both husbands, which, of course, would make her diurnal.
Q: What do zombies put on their mashed potatoes?
A: Grave-y.
The following is a menu offered at the Unfriendly Restaurhant and Coffin Shop Moan-U.
–
A die-ning delight that will lift your spirits!
–
SAND-WITCHES
Boo-loney
Boo-gels and Scream Cheese
Hallow-weenies
Liver-worst
–
BOO-VERAGES
Milk Shaaaakes
Ice Scream Floats
Orange Crrrush
–
HEX-TRAS
Clammy on the Half Shell
Chilllled Tomb-ato Juice
Deviled Eggs
–
SOUPS AND SALADS
L-eeek! Soup
Cream of Asparaghost
Arti-Choke Hearts
Lettuce Alone Salad
Marinated Brussel Shouts
–
SIGHED DISHES
Baked Beings
Cre-mated Spinach
–
DESS-HURTS
Creep Suzettes
Banana Scream Pie
Sheet Cake
Key Slime Pie
Hot Sludge Shun-dae
–
TODAY’S SPE-CHILLS
Spook-ghetti
Souther Fright Chicken
Ghoul-lash
Turkey with Grave-y
Pasta-way
–
Breakfast Served from Midnight to 3 A.M. Daily
–
CEREALS
Ghost Toasties with Evaporated Milk
Shrouded Wheat
Scream of Wheat
–
EGGS
Terri-fried Eggs — Over Easy
Scream-bled Eggs
Three-moan-it Soft-booled Eggs
Stormy-side-up Eggs
Eggs Boonidict
–
Cust-tomb-ers: We accept Die-ners Club, Monster Card, and American Hex-press Credit Cards
ED: “What do you call it when a ghost makes an error?”
TED: “A grave mistake?”
ED: “No — a boo-boo!”
Q: Why did they bury the battery?
A: Because it was dead.
There’s a famous epitaph on the tombstone of the chronic patient. It reads: “I told you I was really sick!”
My wife wouldn’t agree to us having adjoining funeral plots. She says that knowing the way I sleep, I’d probably hog all the sod.
The following was carved on the tombstone of a prize fighter: “He ended up the same way he fought — on his back.”
Epitaph on a gentleman’s tombstone: “Pardon me for not rising when you came in.”