Q: What did the golfing caterpillar grow up to be?
A: A putter-fly.
Tag Archives: golf
Joke #17934
Q: How do nine golfers press their shirts?
A: With nine irons.
Joke #13096
GOLFER: “Caddy, have you noticed any improvement since last month?”
CADDY: “You shined up your clubs, right?”
Joke #12930
“Sir, we need a doctor’s excuse if you’ll be missing work today.”
“Okay. I won’t be in today because I’m playing golf.”
Joke #12843
MAN: “Just once I’d like to be able to win a golf game.”
WIFE: “Then why don’t you play against someone other than your boss?”
Joke #12836
MRS. JONES: “Have you ever played golf before?”
MRS. SMITH: “Heck, no! I don’t even know how to hold the caddy.”
Joke #12835
GOLFER #1: “My wife said she’d divorce me if I don’t give up playing golf.”
GOLFER #2: “Wow! That’s tough. What did you do?”
GOLFER #1: “I haven’t missed an alimony payment or a golf game yet.”
Joke #12832
The golf match to end all golf matches was played up in Heaven by St. Peter and St. Paul. St. Peter had the honor of the first tee and promptly made a hole in one.
St. Paul, undaunted, repeated the performance.
St. Peter marked the scores down dutifully on his card, then remarked, “What do you say, Paul? Let’s cut out the miracles and get down to business!”
Joke #12831
A man came home from the golf course and said to his wife, “I played in the 70’s today. I hope the temperature is like that tomorrow too.”
Joke #12829
WIFE: “You play golf every weekend and I’m getting tired of it. If you spent a whole weekend home with me, I think I’d drop dead!”
MAN: “Stop trying to bribe me!”
Joke #12818
I don’t hit my balls into the water traps because I’m a duffer. It’s just that I’m a neat golfer and I like to keep them clean.
Joke #12817
MAN: “Hey! I broke seventy on nine holes today!”
GOLF PRO: “Wow! that’s a lot of clubs to break.”
Joke #12812
Q: Where does a pig play golf?
A: On the sausage links, of course!
Joke #12806
“Hey, I had great luck today. I shot three birdies.”
“I didn’t know you were a golfer.”
“I’m not. I’m a hunter.”
Joke #12662
I get more exercise playing golf than tennis. There is more gear to break when I get mad.